Anyone else find self care totally tedious?

[binnibonnieboo]

So much stuff needs doing just to keep ourselves going. Shower, wash hair, brush teeth, dry self, put on clean clothes. Every single day except maybe for hair washing. What a pain. I don't even wear make up or bother moisturising, but still find it so tedious. That's before we even do the feeding our bodies bit!

Hate washing hair. Got it down to twice a week now thanks to dry shampoo. My main stumbling block is dinner. Haven't bothered with it tonight.

I read recently about PDA that it can show up in high functioning maskers as an eagerness to complete all external tasks in order to drown out the calls of the body.... and I thought oh fuck that's me.

Yes washing hair, such a pain. Actually don't mind cookng, cleaning up is the bit I hate.

I need to shower in the morning but I struggle with extras like shaving and exfoliating, moisturising etc. I also struggle with make up and hair styling as I just can’t be bothered.
Eating well and exercise is also really hard for me at the minute as is making sure I get good sleep and not doom scrolling on my phone endlessly. I struggle with housework and keeping my home organised and get really stressed at mess but can’t face beginning sorting it even though I know it will feel better.
I find I know what I need to do to feel better but just can’t bring myself to do it.
self care is HARD

I’m a little bit worried that depression usually makes one feel overwhelmed by self care. The tasks you describe are about 15 minutes worth of a quick shower, teeth brush and getting dressed and shouldn’t feel overwhelming.

I enjoy keeping myself clean and fed and looking nice and don’t find it a chore - perhaps time to think about whether there’s a deeper reason for feeling this way about basic needs

The only part I really hate is washing my hair, and then styling it. Ugh. I’m seriously considering getting a weekly blow dry like my mother and grandmothers.

Im with you i hate it I find it really hard to just actually do it, its just like another chore.

I forgot shaving. I only do that in summer as I don't get my legs out in winter. Another tedious task.

I hear ya! I wish I could click my fingers and just be ready. It is tedious beyond belief

What’s PDA?

I’m ok with make up. Doing my hair is an effort. Evening skincare, tooth brushing and vitamins is the name of my life, takes what 5-10 mins tops but feels like such a chore.

I am not remotely depressed. I'm very active, gym three times a week, sea swimming, walking. Just hate doing these tasks that have to do everything day just to maintain myself and don't give pleasure, the way exercise does.

Yes I wish I could live like a cat or dog or something and just have fur and go from sleeping to leaving the house without having to think about any of that stuff.

I'm inclined to agree with this.
Do you think you are feeling low @binnibonnieboo ?

There could be a multitude of reasons... Yes, depression is one but not exclusively.
I have autism, showering, washing hair and brushing teeth are quite full on sensory experiences and certain times of the day are better than others.
Preparing food requires a lot of decision-making for any person - planning and sequencing can be tricky if you are busy/stressed/overwhelmed or otherwise preoccupied.
Some of activities which are considered basic and fast can be extremely complex and energy-demanding for many people without necessarily having a diagnosis to explain the difficulty.

Isn't it? Every day. When I'm finally dressed, clean, presentable, it's like I've won a little battle.

Fair enough!

Maybe get yourself some nice fancy shower gel to look forward to using or something to make it more enjoyable?

See my reply above, not depressed at all.

Would agree with this. When I’m mentally and physically well, shower is no big deal. When I’m physically unwell, I do it but it’s a lot more difficult and I need music to distract me from the pain. When I’m physically AND mentally unwell, what is really a simple 15-60 minutes of activity feels like climbing Mount Everest… alone.

OP, only you know what helps most - is it blitzing through these activities so they take, at most, 15 minutes, OR is it adding ways that make these things nicer to do, like essential oils in the bathroom during a shower, or Kindle (waterproof one) in the bath, place music or an audiobook while showering and brushing your teeth. Brush your teeth whilst in the shower. Whatever makes it work for you. Also, washing your hair every day is not recommended - you can have a shower with a shower cap in 5 minutes, and just wash your hair every 2-3 days based on how quickly it feels or looks greasy.

But I also think the term “self-care” has a bloody lot to answer to. Me in terrible chronic pain trying to take a shower is not the same as someone just lounging in their huge bathtub while listening to music and reading a book. The first doesn’t feel much like self-care; it feels like torturing myself so I won’t smell. It would maybe be more accurate to call these tasks personal care? Because to some of us, personal care will always be a slog. Self-care for us is reading a book, talking to friends, etc.

Yes, that's another difficulty with hair wash - having to make decisions how to organise it around exercise!

Thank you for the thought but I hate perfumed toiletries, only like plain functional unscented cleaning products that just do the job.

Yes yes yes.
I'm likely audhd, I find all of it a faff and exhausting but I find myself feeling lower when I don't keep a certain level of routine. It's definitely not depression for me much more aligned with 24 7 exhaustion. I flip flop from having periods where I do the bare minimum to then adding
extras in to feel more myself but then more exhausted. Its quite the cycle 🫠
Having children has definitely made it worse but I also remember feeling utterly exhausted as a teenager having to plan when I would wash my hair and this never ending self care routine.

I dislike the hairdresser and any appointment like that too.

I hate it too.I particularly loathe getting dried after a shower it takes so long to get properly dry. I hardly ever bother shaving.

I'm glad there are others like me! To stress, I am neurotypical, not depressed, very fit and healthy. Just find these tasks repetitive and boring. But in a low key way, not like I'm sobbing in the shower every day at having to wash my bits! I am giving very heavy sighs though.

FFSTto everything - I blitz through them at top speed to get them over and done with. No lotions and potions. Get in the shower, out in 3 minutes if not washing hair. Get these dull boring tasks done asap