To think a lot of people don't understand what a depression or anxiety disorder are?

[darkuncertainplace]

I'm writing this out of both frustration and despair. I have felt for a while that a lot of people don't actually understand what it means to have major depressive disorder, or an anxiety disorder.

I have heard so many people say the following in the last few years:

"Everyone gets anxiety/depression"
"You've just got to snap yourself out of it/get on with things"
"Just do things that make you happy and you'll feel better"
"It's normal to be anxious, we all just have to get on with it"

Etc etc. It makes me feel so frustrated. As someone who was diagnosed with major depressive disorder at 18, you cannot just pull yourself out of it. You are in a dark, dark hole and you can't see the beauty or joy in anything. You feel nothing except emptiness and darkness. It's an medical illness, not a mood.

Same for anxiety disorder. My triggers cause me physical symptoms such as panic attacks, consuming feelings of dread and fear, dizziness etc. It is paralysing and has made my life a misery.

They are both disabilities that seriously affect people's lives. I wish there was a different name for these disorders that separate them more clearly from just depression and anxiety.

You make a good point. Maybe take this thread as a chance to educate others. I've never experienced either but I don't think I'd be tactless enough to say the things you have heard.

Can I ask when you first experienced the symptoms? Could anything have been done differently in early childhood to help?

People are referring to those who use such diagnosis to live off others (whether tax payers or family).

At the end of the day there is a much higher proportion of such people in the UK, than say in Russia or Ukraine - with the latter two being objectively much shittier places to live, and people being the same species!

I think people don't realise how stringent the diagnostic criteria are for certain disorders (especially PTSD and OCD).

Many people can have symptoms of certain disorders but wouldn't meet the strict diagnostic criteria.

The difference between symptoms and clinically-significant symptoms is an important distinction to make.

The problem is even if there were different names for them, people would start flippantly using those too.

People say they're 'depressed' when they're just feeling very down.

People say they're 'suffering from anxiety' when they're just anxious about something.

Neither of those two things are anything like depression or anxiety but it doesn't stop people I'm afraid.

I think it's a difficult one. I think both sides CAN be right in different scenarios.

I certainly do believe (as I imagine you do too) that the number of people now using depression or anxiety as an excuse for absolutely anything that makes you even marginally uncomfortable a little frustrating.

Severe depression and anxiety can be absolutely debilitating and I have every sympathy to that (my mum has been on anti depressants for more than 30 years) however equally I also believe that the younger generation has very little resilience and 'normal' anxiety (like starting a new job or going off to university) are almost used a barrier to avoid doing anything slightly difficult.

I agree with you that your situation is widely misunderstood still though

Which studies did you draw that insightful data from, then? 🤔

PIP has 0.3-0.4% fraud rate. ESA has a 3.4% fraud rate.

Yet roughly half of child maintenance payers are failing to pay or underpaying. Let's be real. Its pure ableism when people vilify people with depression and anxiety.

Police officers, veterans, rape victims, domestic abuse victims, people have been bullied and people with long term conditions get anxiety and depression. Or you can just develop it. It's awful and limits every aspects of your life. Treatment lists are long and not all medicines work.

If you really care about scroungers focus your energy or people who don't pay their taxes or cma- this is where millions are wasted

Actually a recent study found depression in nearly 50% of women living in central Ukraine. That’s a lot higher than the UK.

People are unable to access psychiatrists to get clinical diagnosis. They rely on mostly GPs to do this. If you have a problem with diagnosis, its not on the patient but the medical profession and access to mental health services.

The whole point is that clinical anxiety and depression are not caused (or not solely caused) by the shittiness of the sufferers life.
When my anxiety is out of control, I know there are things I can do that help enough for me to be able to tell someone that I need help. However, forcing my way through the wall of fear and helplessness is often far from easy.
I try to externalise it, and think of my anxiety and depression as people who wish me harm. That helps, but proper medical care has been the real key.

Exactly this.
And I also think that whilst for some people it is clearly a major illness that they cannot do anything about, there are also others who sort of 'wallow' in it and don't even try and grit their teeth and pick themselves up. That is the difference between now and before. It's now totally acceptable and I don't think people try and fight it.
I had this debate with my DD, who was talking about the number of teens in her class who have 'anxiety' and 'panic attacks' and the likes. When I was at school NO ONE ever had a panic attack. You pulled yourself together, maybe had a cry in the toilets etc, and then moved on. And yet now it's left right and centre.

You're right, it's only on MN I've realised the ignorance to it. Luckily I'm surrounded by understanding and empathetic people in my life. There's a real lack of understanding on how it impacts executive functioning. People think they understand it because they've felt normal sadness or anxiety and been able to push through and carry on as normal. That's not the same as having depression and/or an anxiety disorder and it's so frustrating to see so many people don't understand that. The comments about behaviour being performative or a means of control/abuse are infuriating too.

You explain how you are affected - but not everyone is the same as you .
someone else might experience the same disorders but in a different way.

maybe that’s why you feel people don’t understand ?

Would it be fair to say that being depressed or anxious is something usually related to a cause, whether it's an immediate event or more subtle such as long term stress, whereas the illness has no logic or triggers? You could have the most wonderful life with no worries but still be depressed or anxious.

Yeah, this.

There is a BIG difference between having a disorder because you have a chemical imbalance in your brain, and feeling depressed or anxious because of something tangible that's happening in your life.

The difference is important.

Or maybe just nobody admitted to it? I had symptoms as early as 7 or 8, but I hid them well for fear of punishment.
In the 70s, a huge number of women were medicated for "nerves". I knew a number who went on to have addiction problems as a result of what passed for help back then. People have always been anxious and depressed, and I would rather a few shirkers benefitted than huge numbers of people suffer unheard.

I absolutely had panic attacks in school 35 years ago. Nobody knew about them - the last thing I wanted when I was having a panic attack was for other people to notice, it would be another thing to be bullied over.

Partly people are just being more open about something that's always been there.

And by its very nature depression sucks away your motivation, so 'wallowing' as you call it can be part of the condition.

Likely through the wealth of information available freely on the world wide web.

It's a spectrum isn't it and most if not all have experienced anxiety and depression to a lesser or greater degree.

Those who are effected significantly will need meds and hcp care, those affected minimally will manage controlling symptoms with lifestyle.

Every illness has ranges. Someone can be dying of a disease others can be living well with the same disease.

What you need to do is not judge others. If you think your family are being harsh perhaps they are just trying to support and encourage you?

Can I please ask if treatment has been successful for you? If you are receiving treatment for the condition. Do you think people can be positive of having good outcomes/quality of life if they are treated?

The people who say ‘ I’ve suffered from depression. I just snap out of it’. Oh yes I’ve never thought of that. If only it was so easy.

People do this for every illness tbh. I have severe eczema and people always say ‘oh I had that on my elbow once and E45 sorted it.’ As though I’m not on multiple heavy drugs to try and control my skin from bleeding. People don’t understand things they haven’t experienced and they grow tired of things that are chronic or last a long time. It’s just what humans do.

Yes and no. Life events can obviously have a huge effect on mental health, sometimes the reaction is at an expected level, sometimes not. And physical health has a huge impact.

I have a long history of anxiety (runs in the family) which I could manage myself until a health condition messed up my hormones/triggered peri menopause and I've been on beta blockers when needed for ten years now.

I also have a history of depression which I was at one point on medication for, largely triggered by having ME as a teenager, and the knock on effects of that on friendships, social life etc.

That's the short version anyway, life is messy and if I went into everything it would be far too long!

Agree with this. When I hear someone describe themselves as being OCD it's never that it's been diagnosed. I understand that its a really disabling condition but generally people are quite ignorant about it.

Even in this thread we have people saying that you just have to "get on with it". The point is that no, when you have a disorder it means you are suffering so badly that you can't just fix yourself. You wouldn't tell people with physical disabilities to just get on it with/get over it.