AIBU to be fed up with him always eating my food?

[DarlVader]

Been seeing someone for about 12 weeks, he told me he had weight loss surgery a few years ago which makes it difficult for him to eat big meals. Fair enough. Issue is that he CONSTANTLY says he’ll “just have a tiny bit of” whatever im eating. Its driving me nuts. If we decide to get a takeaway he’ll say he won’t get one for himself but he’ll have “a tiny bit” of mine. If we get fish and chips he’ll “just have a tiny bit” of mine … but it’s never a tiny bit, its almost half everytime.

We went to cinema a few weeks ago, he said he’d just “have a few” of my popcorn … he ate more of it than I did. I swear most of it was gone before the film started.

So last week I snapped. We went to Lincoln and I saw some lovely looking sausage rolls in the window of a bakery and said I was going to buy one. He said “ooo yes they do look nice! I won’t get a full one though, I’ll just have a tiny bit of yours”. I snapped “no sorry, you’ll have to get your own, I’m not going to stand in the street dividing up a sausage roll”. He seemed suprised and said “oh! Ok … well I suppose I could get one and have half now and half later?” So I said “do what you want, it’s a sausage roll for gods sake”.

Rest of the day was a bit awkward! But I’ve had enough of it, it’s ridiculous.

He’s just asked if I fancy going to York this week and getting a Yorkshire pudding wrap. I replied “yes, one each” so he said “well I don’t know if I could eat a full one” so I said “well no then, let’s not bother”.

AIBU here?? I’m missing just being able to go out and eat/snack a normal couple!

I've been to York but never seen them.

im not supposed to eat YP due to a health issue. So I tend just to have a couple at Christmas & maybe once during the year where ill have them filled with mushy peas 🤣

probably just as well I didn't see them when I was in York! 🤣

He wants to go to York just to get a Yorkshire pudding wrap?!?!

That's a bit odd in itself....

You are not being unreasonable at all, but rather than bin him, just tell him that between you you can afford one each and you’d rather do that. After a couple of times he’ll get the message that he either buys his own or goes without. It doesn’t need to be a falling out.

This used to be a “joke” between my own parents. My dad would often (not always) say he would go without and just have “a bit” of my mum’s and her response would be “no you bloody won’t”. They managed over fifty years of marriage.

They're not all fat, they're not all smelly & they're not all food obsessed & they can be as full of personality as any other dogs.

if would be like reading your post & saying all human are rude & ignorant.

Lol 🤣 sorry I shouldn't laugh !!
But I actually do this to my DH I have lost 3 stone and in an attempt to tell myself I'm being good ill just have a tiny bit of his and because he is so generous by nature he always gives me half !!!
Well this week he said btw u best get and Easter egg because your not having mine hehehejehe so I did buy one ! I actually didn't realise I'd been so annoying because he is so generous (been together 30 years bless him )
It could be his way of portion control half of yours is not his own whole one but not good if your paying every single time thou that's being a cheap stake !
Maybe it could work if u have an honest chat about it or maybe not best to talk it throu and explain how annoying it is x

This 💯

Massive Ick. Fine if he doesn’t eat, not fine if he eats yours abs makes you pay.

I answered this earlier.

Another vote for get rid of- the food thing is annoying but I thought you might be able to nip it in the bud.

telling you you will gain weight is a huge nope!

Don't waste your money on a Yorkshire pudding wrap. Ours were awful. Husband's was full of fat father than best and my veggie one had hardly any vegetables in it. We would never have another

Oh dear I just read throu your replies dump him !! He had a unhealthy relationship with food and saying you will put in weight on us fucking rude ,!! After 12 weeks of dating that's so shocking !! Nope throw this one back 🐟 🔙

Oh for goodness sake it was a term I used to describe my SIL feeding males in our family much larger portions than females. It’s got absolutely nothing to do with weigh-loss injections! It wasn’t the OP that used the term “penis portions” on the thread it was me and you’ve managed to completely miss the point. How odd that someone would jump to the conclusion it had something to do with weight loss 🙄

If we were together a long time it wouldn't bother me. I'd happily let you have whatever bits you wanted & order a dude I'd dessert if I wanted more food. But when I was younger I genuinely could eat much so I used to order a side instead of a main.

I buy myself the cadburys small egg with chocolate buttons inside. I don't share!!

just talk to your DH & see how he genuinely feels.

I’m sooo irrationally invested in this thread!! I hope the OP comes back to tell us how wrapgate went 🤣

This would drive me nuts. I’m not a big sharer of food at all.

This would drive me crazy OP. I had a friend who used to try and control what I ate whenever we went out by ordering for me or insisting on ‘sharing’. No! I want a whole bloody portion. Unfortunately people with disordered eating do bring that to relationships in all kinds of ways. I’m thinking here of the many vegans I know who also have a very restricted diet (one is no onions, tomatoes, carrots, green veg, citrus fruits, garlic etc) - I honestly see it as a way to restrict eating resulting in emaciation. But whatever, their body their choice, just don’t eat my food!

Sorry, i missed that post.
Having looked back and read it, I am very impressed with your plate swapping!

I have he finds it very annoying but he would still share he is a super lovely person ! So I have stopped doing it now cus I know he's putting me before himself and I don't want him to do that ! It's all about communicating isn't it ?

I have to be honest, he needs to go... and this is one of the rare occasions that I would do it by text.

"We are finished and this is why - "

I would end the relationship now because

1. He has an eating disorder and is obsessed with food

1. He is horribly stingy

1. He is absolutely unaware of or unconcerned about the impact of these 2 major issues on you or your relationship which is in its infancy

My DP will, when out shopping muse about getting some of the things I buy for myself, eg a pot of cottage cheese but decide not to bother. Wind forward a few days and when I'm happily eating my cottage cheese, all of a sudden they have the urge to eat some as well. Ah well, lifes a bitch, you should have bought some as well, I don't care that we are married and have been for years, I planned my lunches (it's normally lunches) for the week and you didn't.

I hate sharing food with anyone so this would be a hard no. I also hate it when DH stares at my plate, quite obviously waiting to see what he can hoover up once I’ve finished. I’ve never understood the appeal of eating someone else’s leftovers, especially when they are still sitting on their discarded plate 🤢

So he’s fat shaming you even though you aren’t overweight? He has issues!

I get the whole gastric surgery, been there, done that, but a few years out, I don’t think a sausage roll would be an issue (might make me have to run to the bathroom because I tend not to eat greasy stuff!), but the endless requests for a ’tiny bit’ of yours so you end up paying for him to eat half of your food would drive me nuts!

I find it slightly odd that someone focused on weight loss and weight management would suggest a whole trip around a food item.

It's like an alcoholic visiting a brewery.

I'm going through a phase of losing weight and I try to focus my trips around doing things now, making the food secondary. Certainly the majority of the time anyway.

Yell this at him