Partners family have a habit of not saying goodbye

[PockerMaus]

So until recently it's just my partner's dad who seems to have this issue. Whenever he has stayed with us in the past he seems to have dipped out early in the morning without saying goodbye (my partners family all live about 4 hours away). It upset my partner in the past but he has a turbulent relationship with his dad anyway.

This weekend we had two of his aunties and his cousin come and stay. They drove down on Saturday, we cooked them lunch, went for a nice walk and then had pancakes for tea and watched a film. It seemed like a lovely day and they all went to bed and said see you tomorrow.

We have an 8 month old son who thankfully (after 7 months of awful sleep) now sleeps through on most occasions. I woke up around 6 and 7 and couldn't hear anything and our son was still asleep so went back to sleep. My partner and I woke up at 8am and went downstairs to find a note written on some kitchen roll saying thank you for the food, had to go. They then messaged to say they had been up since 3am unable to sleep and needed to get home.

Tbh I find it really rude, after hosting these people and they just leave without saying goodbye. We sleep with our door open so it's not like we were shut away and not like we woke up late. I haven't replied to their messages and feel that they've let my partner down as it's something he has always been upset about when his dad does it.

Would you be offended by this or not think it's a particularly big deal? My partner said they may not have wanted to wake us up as we have a baby but he sleeps in his own room and they know that he sleeps through the night now so it's not like we're sleep deprived.

I just feel like saying something to them that this wasn't ok but also don't want to be overreacting and falling out with the in laws. Maybe I just need to rant haha. I just know I wouldn't stay at someone's house and then leave without saying goodbye.

Hahah it blows my mind the number of people that have said this 😂 I'll send them your way next time!

Yes I think there are more issues - turns out she needed a joint as that's how she sleeps at home!

Please do! In return I'll send you a couple of mine who simply won't fuck off home until I'm sitting in the bathroom on the edge of a full blown panic attack

I'm surprised at all the ppl saying this is fine, I would have thought it rude too unless they'd said the night before that they were heading out early and not to get up.

I’d actually be relieved by this as I’m not in the slightest bit sociable in the mornings and can’t think of anything worse than trying to juggle a little one whilst making breakfast for guests and small talk first thing. Maybe they’re also not morning people,especially after a bad nights sleep.

But many people would hate to be woken early on a Sunday morning, especially at 3am! You are sounding quite inflexible, as though your way of looking at things is the only one. I might have done the same as your guests if I'd hardly been to sleep, was uncomfortable in an unfamiliar bed and not wanting to delay just to have breakfast before leaving. It would have been polite though to say 'Sorry to miss breakfast with you' in the note, or later on the phone.

Seems crazy to me to be bothered by this. It's far kinder to leave a note and not bother someone if they're asleep than wake them to say bye. I would also be really annoyed if someone expected me to stick around until they got up just to say bye. You're all adults.

Confused by the 'sticking around to say goodbyes' we had plans for the next day 😂 anywho my last update said I'd spoken to them both and all is well in the world!

I disagree about being inflexible. I would feel rude if I stayed over at a family members house, they catered for me etc, and I just left in the morning even though we'd made plans. That is my perspective but the point of this post was to see what others thought and see their opinions. It doesn't mean mine changes but I appreciate other people will have different boundaries and how they view respect. We're all different :)

Haha it's so interesting to me the number of people on here who would much rather their guests leave early doors 😂 it's going to give me a complex next time I stay over somewhere!