AIBU to expect DH to take DD to the party?

[Mrsmissunderstood]

DD has a party today DH said he wasn’t going from the moment we got the invite about a month ago. I’ve been ill for a week with a sinus infection so the house is a mess tons of washing not been done and no food shopping. DH wet his bed last night so his mattress needed cleaning. So i said to DH this morning you take DD and I will just stay here and sort the house out. He said he didn’t want to go and sit with a bunch of women.

So I said ok you stay here and clean I will go to the party that was also a flat out no. So I said fine you go the party then since you don’t want to help out here.

I gave DD a shower and got her dressed and it was about 10 minutes until the party started. He comes up stairs hanging about telling me that I’m going to be late. He can quite clearly see me in my pyjamas running about cleaning and helping DD get ready.

We went back and fourth for about 20 minutes poor DD in tears and him refusing to take her. He got in a strop and eventually took her.

AIBU?

There are no such things as possession laws. The house is "owned" by the OP but is a joint asset as they're married.

The well-being of a child will always come first. A court will order him out the house eventually. No judge would expect a mother to stay with their child in a hostile environment. Leaving a house does not give him more right to the house. The OP can make it clear why she had to leave. It would not look good for him.

The only possession "law" I can think of relates to being in possession of stolen goods where you were not aware the goods were stolen and bought in good faith.

OP mis-typed ... it was their son who wet the bed.

But yes, as for the rest of it, utter arse and OP will be well rid of him.

He doesn’t see why his life should change 😂 meaning he currently realises how good he has it with childcare on tap and the house cleaned.
I don’t think you can just change the locks as you’re married even if house is just in your name but soon as divorce is through then do it.

so unkind to your DD that she knows she can’t rely on her father at such a young age.

Look at whether you may be eligible to apply for an Occupation Order (if in the UK). There may be some charities that can help. You could also look at Non-Molestation Order if there is any DV. If so NCDV.org.uk is worth contacting.

Your laws may be different. I know over here you are told not to leave. It can work against you. You can also end up having to fight for your personal possessions
I know someone who had to flee in the middle of the night with her toddler due to dv and it took over a year to get her personal stuff back through the courts as it was considered she had abandoned them. She didn't get much of a settlement either.

Have you heard of divorce? Also, sorry to tell you - you're married, that house is also his.

Either way, if you don't want to live with him - divorce is the answer

Ah sorry I see you are already divorcing him - slightly crucial info missed out in the initial post.

Unless there are some other important facts missed out, it is also his house and he is doing the correct thing legally by not moving out, as rubbish as it is for you both.

He is a dick though

He doesn’t think it’s fair! He should have thought of that before he behaved like a useless knob throughout his marriage.
Good luck OP, you are moving on towards to a better life!