AIBU to expect DH to take DD to the party?

[Mrsmissunderstood]

DD has a party today DH said he wasn’t going from the moment we got the invite about a month ago. I’ve been ill for a week with a sinus infection so the house is a mess tons of washing not been done and no food shopping. DH wet his bed last night so his mattress needed cleaning. So i said to DH this morning you take DD and I will just stay here and sort the house out. He said he didn’t want to go and sit with a bunch of women.

So I said ok you stay here and clean I will go to the party that was also a flat out no. So I said fine you go the party then since you don’t want to help out here.

I gave DD a shower and got her dressed and it was about 10 minutes until the party started. He comes up stairs hanging about telling me that I’m going to be late. He can quite clearly see me in my pyjamas running about cleaning and helping DD get ready.

We went back and fourth for about 20 minutes poor DD in tears and him refusing to take her. He got in a strop and eventually took her.

AIBU?

You’re assuming this loser has a job 🤣

Oh god, I didn't think of that. 🤣🤣

If it’s your house change the locks while he’s out and leave his stuff in the front garden!!

I really hope you have that house properly protected from this waste of oxygen. Lazy fucker.

Seems extremely fair given how you describe his behaviour. Seems the actual definition of fair.

What did I just read? Your DH wet the bed and you have to clean it up?

And if you've been ill for a while why can't your DH and kids chip in to keep things tidy while you recover? No one in your house can do the laundry without you???

Edit: phew I just saw your update that it's your DS not DH 😂

Chuck his stuff in the garden and change the locks what can he do since its your house .

I don't understand why these lazy men get married and have kids in the first place. Does it genuinely never cross their mind that being a functioning adult, let alone a parent, means you often have to do things you don't want to do?

YANBU, good luck with the divorce and I hope things look up for you and your kids once you're less tied to this loser.

Very selfish man!!

But he also refused to stay home and do the necessary cleaning/sorting.

Can you give him a formal eviction notice?

How is it your house if you are married?

Maybe was hers before they met like my house was

Oh poor diddums doesn't think it's fair he has to start over? How fair is he being to you MRSMISSUNDERSTOOD? What does he add to your life? Nothing but stress and unhappiness as far as I can tell. You have yourself a GRADE A C*cklodger. If you haven't already, start documenting everything - all the times and dates he refuses to be a parent or a partner. For the love of all that is holy, do NOT breed any more with this total waste of carbon.

But as its the family home it is not clear cut and could be in the divorce settlement depends how long they've been married and lived together

Change the locks - he sounds like an arse! Hope you’re feeling better soon, OP. Partnership should mean teamwork but it sounds like he’s making your life even harder than you just going it solo by giving you all this grief. Congratulations on your divorce; onwards and upwards for you now.

Wait til he goes out, put all his personal sh*t outside, change the locks.

Or she inherited it.

No inheriting it isn't an exception. By living in the house together op would have brought her inheritance into the marriage. It MAY be kept by op if it was kept seperate from the marriage but only if both parties can have their needs met with other assets.

I hope you are not doing anything for him. No cleaning, no cooking that he gets to eat, no laundry, no shopping.
Can you pay for the bills for you and the kids without him? If so, implement the above. Kick him out of the main bedroom and stick a lock on it.
I really feel for you. That has to be an unpleasant situation for you and your children.

Sell the house so he has to move out? What a stupid prick.

Divorce this man.

She has probably been advised not to leave the house by a solicitor. It's the first rule of separation usually as possession laws come into play.

Maybe in a trust. OP hasn't come back to clear up these questions. Maybe she doesn't want to discuss her house position in detail, but more likely she is at the party.

I would get some friends to help move him out to his mother's.

Gets in a strop, sits down and says shan't and wets his bed how old is he?
These are all unexceptable things from an adult- he needs a reality check.