AIBU to oppose DH buying second home?

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I would love to hear your opinions please. Married many years and we lived overseas in different countries for most of it due to DH job. The job was very busy with lots of travel and I supported him by staying at home and taking care of the family. DC are now adults but still living at home.

After moving back to home country we settled and bought a house. DH now retired and has large redundancy package and wants to use this (plus a great deal of our savings) to buy a second home several hours drive away in an area he loves. I do not like the area and don’t want to spend any time there. He intends to buy a house and spend 3 months a year now he has retired, and rent it out the rest of the time.

This is causing a great deal of conflict. I am against buying this house and it is wiping out most of our savings plus I feel he is checking out of family life and leaving me and the DC’s while he goes off on long holidays. I was hoping we could travel when he retires but we can’t do that now. He says it’s his money and that’s what he wants to do with it. I feel sad that he seems quite happy to spend long periods away and is also just presuming it will be ok for me to carry on alone taking care of the house and family.

Am I being unreasonable to be upset by this? Should I just accept he wants to spend long periods away in this place he likes?

He says it’s his money and that’s what he wants to do with it.

Is it his money?

As you are married, you should take legal advice to check your financial situation.

If it really is his money then you are absolutely stuffed aren't you.

You have no money of your own, no job and no home.

In law, all assets brought into the marriage are viewed as joint assets (if you were to separate.) So this is not his money - you have a say. He wouldn’t have the money if you hadn’t stayed home to look after DC.

One way to spin this conversation forward rather than have an argument could be to suggest an alternative - could he rent an AirBnB there for a month? So he doesn’t have to give up the dream entirely but isn’t wasting your savings on a second home.