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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Single mum living with parents in London, stuck for housing options

108 replies

Prinnypeach · 25/03/2026 08:46

More looking for guidance on this one from any single parents who have been through this.

separated from DDs father when she was only 2 months as he left me for another woman after 10 years together. was in the trenches with being a single parent and on mat leave so agreed to sell house.

moved back in with my parents and DD. Lovely and appreciative and all was well. DD getting older - now 3 - and I’m struggling with parenting whilst being parented by my own parents. In some ways you could say I do turn back into the sulky teen I once was. Parents are retired so home a lot, I work from home, all just on top of one another, have never had a particularly good relationship with my dad, we argue a lot and I don’t like DD seeing it all.

feel my options are limited with moving back out. I work part time 3 days a week, my firm can’t increase my days, and if I did I’d pay even more for nursery and would actually be worse off.

salary is low even if I did go back full time - would take 2k a month which is better than some of course but I live in London where most rent is 2k plus. No chance on the housing register, I work for the council and it’s just impossible to get somewhere. Have got 50k in savings from selling the house so not entitled to any UC

cant get a mortgage as salary too low - looked at shared ownership but that puts me into financial difficulty after a couple of years when the savings run out as I would use the rest of my savings to top up my salary and pay bills etc.
renting also isn’t an option for me just due to low salary and do want to have something in my name at least. also to mention I previously rented for years before meeting DDs father and getting in place together which we wasn’t in for very long hence not walking away with as much as I’d usually like.

feel so stuck, want to give DD somewhat of a normal life. My sanity is compromised when I live with my parents and I love them dearly, and I truly truly appreciate them and everything they have done for me. However, I’m 32 - me ans DD are not getting any younger and I want to parent and live how I want to - there is a reason I moved out at the young age of 20 originally.

have looked at earning more money - doing a uni course etc but I’ll be no better off starting at the bottom of a job and working my way up over the next few years. Have also thought about moving further out but DDs nursery is here, she won’t start school until nearly 6 due to birthday being end of Nov. Also would struggle to be away from friends and family if I move out and think I would feel pretty lonely.

i just feel I have no options. Has anyone else been in this situation and if so, how did you do it?

and before anyone comes for me about being so ungrateful - please don’t bother.

OP posts:
Weeklyreport · 26/03/2026 20:39

TwinklySquid · 26/03/2026 18:19

What sort of support network do you have currently? Your parents aren’t helping with childcare.

while you are living in a cheaper home, I’d take the jump to full time and pay the extra for nursery. Then when your child is older, you should be higher up the career ladder

But the OP also said that her parents provide childcare one day a week. And she only pays rent of £400 a month in London. There's probably nowhere in the UK she could house herself and her child with bills for £400 a month. Her parents are a massive support network.

CharlotteRumpling · 26/03/2026 20:52

Weeklyreport · 26/03/2026 20:39

But the OP also said that her parents provide childcare one day a week. And she only pays rent of £400 a month in London. There's probably nowhere in the UK she could house herself and her child with bills for £400 a month. Her parents are a massive support network.

Honestly, sometimes I get the feeling that nothing grandparents do is good enough for MN.

Snakebite61 · 27/03/2026 08:25

Givinguponmyhair · 25/03/2026 08:49

If you live in London then moving a little further out isn't going to make enough of a difference in terms of housing costs.
Would you consider a completely fresh start in a totally different (cheap) part od the country?

This is the only option. London is impossible these days.

TheDevilFindsWorkForIdleMums · 27/03/2026 12:11

Move to Milton Keynes......my friend did just that. Still a stones throw from London and housing is so much cheaper........your 50k could put down a decent deposit on a house.

I know living out of your area isn't ideal but neither is living like a teenager when you have a child to consider.

Prinnypeach · 08/04/2026 11:13

@CharlotteRumpling sorry where did I say that my parents help wasn’t or isn’t good enough? I am extremely grateful and appreciative of the help I receive and I understand I am in an incredibly lucky position. However, no one has kids with the intent of their very long term relationship ending, selling a home, and moving back in with their parents and child. Shoot me for wanting to be able to provide for my child and give her what I thought I was able to give her when me and her father planned her.

OP posts:
CharlotteRumpling · 08/04/2026 11:31

Prinnypeach · 08/04/2026 11:13

@CharlotteRumpling sorry where did I say that my parents help wasn’t or isn’t good enough? I am extremely grateful and appreciative of the help I receive and I understand I am in an incredibly lucky position. However, no one has kids with the intent of their very long term relationship ending, selling a home, and moving back in with their parents and child. Shoot me for wanting to be able to provide for my child and give her what I thought I was able to give her when me and her father planned her.

My post was directed at other posters who asked what sort of support you are getting at the moment and claimed your parents aren't helping with childcare. Not at you.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 08/04/2026 14:22

Can you upskill now and find a better paid job? What do you do?
or you can do shared ownership - uc would pay the rent portion

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 08/04/2026 14:23

I live in London too if I had a bigger place I’d rent to you as would be great fun to live with another mum and a three year old 😊

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