Revenge fantasy plea

[NaughtyFantasyofRevenge]

AIBU to ask you to help me plot some fantasy revenge?

I am divorcing my abusive STBXH thanks to you lovely lot helping me to recognise it as abuse after I posted a couple of AIBUs.

True to form he is being horrible. Utterly vile. I’ve lost friends. I’ve lost money. He’s making choices that negatively impact the DC.

I am rising above it. I’m not taking the bait. I’m focusing on my wellbeing and being the best parent I can be.

But I’m angry. I feel powerless. The law sucks. I have no recourse. I need an outlet.

So I’m going to start plotting fantasy revenge scenarios.

First one: I know something about him that would destroy his reputation and lose him friends all over our small community. I fantasise about telling one person in ‘confidence’ knowing they would likely break it because they are a gossip. I’d have done nothing wrong but it would have the whole town talking about him negatively.

Anyone want to join me in a little evil fantasy revenge? What could I do? Small or big? Silly or serious! Or share your revenge stories. No judgement from me.

To be clear I won’t action anything and I’m not condoning revenge (mostly) but I really need to let out my feeling of powerlessness somehow!!

If you know his number then give that in every stupid marketing form you get. I saw a reel once where a woman set an annual reminder in her calendar to sign his email up to spam every year.

phone a few double glazing companies and conservatory companies kitchen renovation etc and ask for quotes and give his number. I’m having a kitchen renovation done and the fuckers harass you even after you say you have gone with a different company!

of course the best revenge is to be happy in yourself. I have an abusive ex and he was nasty many years after we split. It was only when he got a new victim he finally reduced his abuse. And it was only when I rebuilt my life and was happy I felt like I had revenge when his attempts to control or scare or inconvenience me gained no reaction from me and I could see how much that gauls him. Fantasy revenge is definitely the way to go! Grey rock with a blank polite smile while you consider ways to hide your shit in a cake you casually give him the ‘leftovers’ of lol

Well, thank you so much all.

I will send my self to sleep imagining him waking up in a sweat, having a panic as he showers and sees his hair falling out, then wriggles around as the powder in his pants kicks in, and then struggles to put his clothes on due to extra stitches and then wonders what the many and varied bad smells are around him and why he’s getting mail about incontinence pads and phone calls about missing keys, and he gets to his car to find it a pile of metal rubble just as a neighbour walks by and tuts and crosses the road when she sees him…

Then he gets swept up by a rogue tornado and plonked on an island in the middle of nowhere with only coriander to eat (he hates it).

Imagine him shitting himself in public on a busy Saturday afternoon, on the regular. The sort of explosive diarrhoea that means he wouldn't be able to leave the house for fear of it. Complete destruction of his life at the hands of uncontrollably explosive bowels.

This. Why don't you just tell it? Why continue to protect his reputation? Does he care about yours?

If he's living in his own place with a garden, get some weedkiller (in a spray or watering can) and write CUNT in 3 foot letters on his front lawn. Two weeks later, everyone local knows what he is.

My ex is being done for this under the Domestic abuse Act......

This one takes a bit of preparation. Cut a slit in every other sheet of a toilet roll with a razor blade, roll back up and leave for him to wipe his arse. His finger will go through the slit and he'll get shit under his nails.
Clean the loo with his toothbrush.

tiny nicks in his windscreen wipers so they never thoroughly clear his windscreen.

Use a cocktail stick and adjust his windscreen spray nozzles so they never hit his screen.

drops of fox urine (off the internet) in his external car vents. Just a bit. Subtle. Build it up every few days.

use a small metal file and slightly file all his keys so they don’t quite fit and he has to jiggle them.

still living together? Using small scissors or the weird stabby stitch unpicker - unpick a few stitches each day on underpants waists and gussets. Same with his socks around the elastic edge. Let him think it’s all falling apart in the wash.

rub your sweaty pits on all his fresh clean shirts. Iron it in and hang back up.

Beers in the fridge or drinks cans he drinks from? Have a wee (in the toilet!). Dunk all can tops in the toilet. Let them air dry.

I would add a legal disclaimer that this is not evidence that I as a 52 year old woman have ever done any of these things….

Milk in the car. Pour it under the front seats. If you can’t get access to the car, pour it down the windows. Pull the seals forward with your nail and slowly tip it in. It takes ages and be sure to wipe the door down and more will go down the door than in the window cavity.

Chilli in the "fleshlight"....every single time.

I’m glad you had that person! Yes chatgtp was invaluable for taking all emotion and ammunition out of it and writing boring replies. The narcissist wants your reaction so they can use it against you. Do not give it to him.

you will when you feel safe. Try to find things to laugh about as it’s the only thing that kept me sane. Treat yourself like you’re going through a war because you are mentally. Make sure you ground yourself, take care of yourself and surround yourself with supportive people. You’ve got this 💛

Spit a bit ole greeny into a baked potato (butter and cheese hide a multitude of sins!) 🙀

Picture of his toothbrush inserted into an anus; could be yours, or the family pet, followed by another picture of a gloved hand placing the item back into the holder with a date in lipstick on the mirror.

I watched or read somewhere that a woman rubbed tuna juice in obscure places in his apartment, even poured some in to his car air con vents. Couldn’t get rid of the smell for months as he didn’t know where it was coming from. 100% probably not real but love it.

You move out to your own nice little home. Leaving prawns strewn under the carpets and sewn into the linings of curtains. Maybe a dead rat in the back of his wardrobe.

For years you drop nails near his car tyres wherever you see him parked. He will think he has the worst luck.

You sign him up for all junk mail going. You hand out his email address indiscriminately to online requests ticking all the boxes for "please use my details for marketing and please pass them on.

You manifest him Getting jury duty. Start now. Visualise it every day. A really long boring case, maybe fraud. Lots of technical detail.

Before you move out use a stitch stripping tool to cut threads in his trouser hems, sleeve cufflinks underpants waistbands. Just enough to make them wearable right now but regularly unravel in the wash. Do it to his favourite clothes. May all his socks (eventually) get holes!

Nah, it's not the car's fault it's owned by a twat!!

Me too - it’s all bollocks I think!

Oh.....and go get a pint of maggots from the local fishing shop, let them loose in the car (or home) after a week the results will be amazing!

Not in the fantasy 😀

I hate to be ‘that’ person but these ideas are unhinged and fantasising about it to this extent isn’t healthy for you, it will just make you more bitter and he will be living rent free in your head even more. If you can find a way to disengage, you might find it leads to a calmer life.

You could go all Mrs Twit on him. I’d go for inviting him round for dinner to ‘talk things through’, making him a bowl of spaghetti bolognese, using worms instead of spaghetti, then distracting him when he’s eating

A well placed kipper 🤣🤣

Or worse......"courgetti spaghetti" 😂

This may or may not be true…

For background, the wife caught her then husband having numerous affairs.

The wife made a lovely steak pie which included a tin of chum dog food and 5 laxatives, the cheesecake for dessert contained some antihistamines well known for being a fabulous sleep aid. The wife may have called their friend hysterical asking if that might kill him. The friend drove 30 miles and they might have sat up all night in the living room watching a very sleepy male frequently clutching his arse staggering past the living room door through tiredness trying to get to the bathroom. He survived.

When the wife went back to move the rest of her things out and collect her cat she gave the toilet a bloody good clean right under the rim with BOTH toothbrushes she found in the en suite. She may also have given the cat litter tray a thorough clean with those toothbrushes…

Write obscenities over his things using a UV pen. He may find out, he may not, but at least you can have a little bit of satisfaction knowing that it's there.