Revenge fantasy plea

[NaughtyFantasyofRevenge]

AIBU to ask you to help me plot some fantasy revenge?

I am divorcing my abusive STBXH thanks to you lovely lot helping me to recognise it as abuse after I posted a couple of AIBUs.

True to form he is being horrible. Utterly vile. I’ve lost friends. I’ve lost money. He’s making choices that negatively impact the DC.

I am rising above it. I’m not taking the bait. I’m focusing on my wellbeing and being the best parent I can be.

But I’m angry. I feel powerless. The law sucks. I have no recourse. I need an outlet.

So I’m going to start plotting fantasy revenge scenarios.

First one: I know something about him that would destroy his reputation and lose him friends all over our small community. I fantasise about telling one person in ‘confidence’ knowing they would likely break it because they are a gossip. I’d have done nothing wrong but it would have the whole town talking about him negatively.

Anyone want to join me in a little evil fantasy revenge? What could I do? Small or big? Silly or serious! Or share your revenge stories. No judgement from me.

To be clear I won’t action anything and I’m not condoning revenge (mostly) but I really need to let out my feeling of powerlessness somehow!!

I was thinking this one.

I was thinking of signing his email/number up for advertising to do with embarrassing problems.

At one time a neighbourhood cat used to spray the front of my car - marking his territory. I saw him do it, but could never work out how to stop him. But, oh my good giddy aunt, I could never have the heating or air conditioning on in the car. I tried everything to stop the smell, but only when my own cat started guarding the car did it stop. So... I believe that anything noxious sprayed on the vents at the front of the car would work really well.

I remember reading about a woman who put prawns inside the curtain pole in the lounge before she left for good 😂 stank the place out and it took her ex ages to find the source of the smell!

Yes. I had to ask...Couldn't figure how to do it and was then told that the vents were used, hence overcoming the problem that you mentioned earlier.

Send him shit in the post. There are websites that do this for you anonymously

Eurgh.

I am picturing myself dressed in black with a black cap sneaking about town with fishoil
in Tupperware.

I believe that the exhaust exploded.

It wasn't in this country. The culprit is now in his 60s and is still embarrassed about it. I'm not sure what the fallout was. The victim could be rather bombastic and was another relative.

Its on the list.

A glitter bomb?

Or shit rolled in glitter?

Itching powder in the underpants.

OMG! Seriously? That’s somebody’s ‘job’ 😂

Classic.

Tiny stitches (using matching thread) inserted judiciously in shirts and trousers? Perhaps one arm or one leg?

Explosion. Awesome. Imagining him being blown into tiny pieces.

It was only the exhaust...

How would this work? What would it do?

Oh my brain has moved on to full on ballistics. It’s fantasy afterall. Rocket launcher from the top of the hill and get him in his way down.

Just annoy him, particularly if they're 'good' clothes for special occasions. Would hold him up.

If the thread matches closely, there's a good chance he wouldn't figure it out straight away.

Putting hair removal cream in his shampoo, conditioner and body wash :)

Nice. Subtle.

Oh loving the thought of him seeing his hair falling out!! Ha ha.

Go to a comparison site and get loads of quotes on all types of insurances and put his email and phone number in. Sign him up for loads of random shit. He’ll be getting pestered none stop.
If he has his own car, put urine in his window washer fluid.
Release the secret to the town gossip, do it!

Unsubtle, but you'd probably need an accomplice: the Fife version of "chap door run".

My former pupils informed me that you find some suitably runny [dog?] excrement, bundle it in newspaper, deposit it on the doorstep, set fire to the bundle and only then knock on the door and run like blazes: "When he comes oot the door, he sees the fire and stamps on it and gets mess aa ower his feet and troosers."

Spray paint the word cunt on his car panels? (I did consider that myself but never went through with it)

Stand in his work car park with a loud haler and tell all his colleagues what a shitbag he is?

If he takes a packed lunch to work, spit in his sandwiches whilst they are in the fridge. He obvs has to make them himself because ain’t no way in hell you’re making them anymore (assuming you ever did). (I actually did this and obvs never told him I spat in them each time 🤣) I had to stay in the marital home until it sold, though we lived completely separate lives (my lounge was effectively my bedroom).

My best, for me, upper hand, was doing the divorce myself. When it came to the reasoning I was brutal and then some. I told him that it never became public so he hadn’t nothing to worry about by agreeing/signing (but I was rest assured that divorce would be granted). It was lovely to be able to put it down on official record regardless!