Nursery issues... album to move him?

[FedUp120028]

Am I overthinking this?

I wrote an incident form with the details of a head bump. My 2.5yo fell out of my bed when he stayed with me the one night and hit his head on either the bed side table or windowsill. The windowsill is very low amd the bedside table is little and next to so depending on how far he went over would depend on where he bumped. I was asleep??? I don't have a crystal ball, but they want 'more information'

This is a nursery that reported me for nappy rash and made out I was being neglectful. He does have sensitive skin which has been attended to by GP, it was also seen the same say of the report and the gp did not note any concerns about how the rash was there.

I'm not perfect, I'm a single parent with two children and can be a little disorganised trying to manage everything on top of the two year old that switches my washing machine on the second I turn my back and is into EVERYTHING. He is just a bit of whirlwind, what exactly is there problem? Just feels like they are judging me at every chance they can... from a nursery that hasn't even sent me an invoice since Feb 2025!

We have recently moved here and my eldest is 8. Although the open plan kitchen annoys me so I am going to move at the end of the contract.

Most of the property is toddler proofed, he just wouldn't sleep that night last week and I put him in with me. I have now put up a bed guard on my bed, I was exhausted and I just didn't think it would happen.

There is no history of DV.

The referal was in the summer last year, the nursery called me and explained that his bum was sore and he his urine was strong smelling. I said I understood their concerns and and would seek medical advice. However in the report they claimed I did not. show enough concern, I'm pretty sure calling the GP for advice was showing concern.

Other than what I read on the report and that initial conversation I wouldn't know what else was said.

The quote in the concern section is 'Staff noticed that your nappy area was very sore, and there were two
lines between your bottom cheeks that appeared to be weeping. The nursery contacted your mum and informed her that they would be making a
referral to Children’s Services. They felt that she did not show much concern about the issues raised.'

This was last year, i only mentioned it because there seems to be pattern of questioning everything I do so as you say I'm just be on their radar.

To say I'm not transparent is not fair, I absolutely am and I am giving all the information I am aware of.

I think the Nursery are doing their job though.if there was a serious incident not followed up, they would be in trouble. They are just making sure.no one really knows what happens. And they are just following procedures. Just do ad they ask and nothing more will happen I Daresay.

That was on particular time, they have been other little remarks. Obviously I'm just overthinking it.

I have a partner yes, but he doesn't live with us.

And? My son had that it cleared with canistan the nursery did not accuse me of neglect they worked with me to clear it up

The nursery seems to be causing you massive unnecessary stress your already doing everything alone even if he seems happy there the long term effects on his mum such as stress lack of confidence feeling judged will effect him. I would move him if possible as you will now be on edge with them.
He’s your child and your paying for him to be cared for while you work they are not in charge of you and because you didn’t give a wanted reaction they took it as you were neglecting him but in actual fact they gave you information and you acted on it immediately. There overreaction was ridiculous. They should have good communication with parents on these things they should have asked you what your actions on it were not reported you.
The more evidence for the bump write a note stating your replying to the request for more information… he tumbled off a bed had several marks and to ensure that it doesn’t happen again you have since bought a bed rail for just to be extra staple the receipt or attack a file with a copy of it!
I think they want to know if he was seen for the bump by a medical professional so take a picture of bump for your next social services report with your evidence that you have taken preventative measures to prevent it from happening again. (Receipt) in the meantime try and keep on top of communication with nursery they want to be kept updated on your actions not that it’s there business but it should prevent them wasting social services and police time.

Its played on my mind ever since. I started to doubt myself, sought reassurance from so many people. I was gutted that whatever the concern was it warranted police. Nothing came of it as I said but it didn't stop it playing on my mind.

But then the nursery had multiple complaints and ofsted issues so maybe this time with the head bump they are erring on the side of caution.

I have other issues with them too though they have not sent me an invoice or claimed my funding since February last year so no matter how many times I poke them, so lucky me - I'll end up with a big the funding will not backdate to! I have just had ti guesstimate what I should pay after funding based on their published fees.

Yeah exactly, he has sensitive skin and gets eczema. I went to gp to get cream and advice but apparently I didn't show enough concern??

I suspect there's more to this than meets the eye - I've worked in social care and I've never heard of social services and police involvement for something as simple as nappy rash!

As for the head bump, toddlers bump their heads often so this in itself wouldn't be seen as suspicious - again perhaps it's your defensive response to being asked for information that's the problem? Just tell them you're happy to provide any further information that they need.

Nothing more, not that I have been told or seen in any correspondence.

I haven't been defensive to them, I just asked what else they'd like to know because I wasn't sure what else I could add tbh. I said I was happy to provide the information but could they clarify.

I arrived at closing time so they weren't interested in taking/asking then. They just said to to ask the manager tomorrow.

It happened to us. My DD told the dinner lady a secret about my DH and I was called into school to meet a police woman and a social worker. What she said was untrue and not directly sexual.
I discuss our home arrangements, which at that time meant that my DH was never alone in the house, either my DM or I were in the house with him.
They interviewed DD and she did not repeat the secret despite skilled questioning and she shared several other lies with them which were obvious lies.
Sometime later we got a letter saying that no further action would be taken. They never even talked to DH. I did ask DD why she said it and she told me that another child said it to her and she repeated it.
DD is now 28 and has an excellent relationship with her father.
I understand the need to investigate and I’m glad it was easy to deal with.

When you dropped your child off at nursery with the nappy rash, did you tell them it was awful and ask them to put some cream on it for your child? I think if they just found it, without any prior communication then that might be how this started.
Also, do you think your child might have told them about the bump on the head? Perhaps they might have said more about it to the nursery, giving them grounds to be concerned? My 2.5 year olds would have chatted about it if asked

@Mathsbabei can completely understand that one. Glad everything was ok

I always applied a barrier ointment anyway and that morning his bum was a little sore but nothing like they suggested but yes I said it was bit sore and I've applied cream, we also agreed on 2hrly changes whether required or not.

I am just sick of them judging me when they send him home in shitty nappy that he's been sat in and can't be arsed to send me an invoice????

No no, he can't talk all that much yet. He has some words and actions but certainly not to that extent.

Personally I would move nursery, I would feel the relationship had broken down.

There's more to this than you saying. Police and social services do not get involved if it's just happy rash. Id they did they literally be investigated every parent and child. Unless made up story there's something you not sharing.

@Londonrach1 I am not going to keep going round in circles. That referral was last year, nearly a year ago and the case was closed, I have shared of what I know of. I mentioned it because I was wondering if maybe I was right in thinking I am just on their radar specifically.

Why have they not sent you an invoice since Feb 25? Does that mean you haven’t paid anything since then?