Nursery issues... album to move him?

[FedUp120028]

Am I overthinking this?

I wrote an incident form with the details of a head bump. My 2.5yo fell out of my bed when he stayed with me the one night and hit his head on either the bed side table or windowsill. The windowsill is very low amd the bedside table is little and next to so depending on how far he went over would depend on where he bumped. I was asleep??? I don't have a crystal ball, but they want 'more information'

This is a nursery that reported me for nappy rash and made out I was being neglectful. He does have sensitive skin which has been attended to by GP, it was also seen the same say of the report and the gp did not note any concerns about how the rash was there.

I'm not perfect, I'm a single parent with two children and can be a little disorganised trying to manage everything on top of the two year old that switches my washing machine on the second I turn my back and is into EVERYTHING. He is just a bit of whirlwind, what exactly is there problem? Just feels like they are judging me at every chance they can... from a nursery that hasn't even sent me an invoice since Feb 2025!

@Mavisflippedive hardly ever heard of the police attending with a social worker. In my 10 years in my current role, it’s happened twice. Once was significant abuse (baby ended up severely disabled) and second was a dad who was drug dealing from his house and hiding the drugs in sweet wrappers and a child got hold of them.

I think you’re being flagged because you’re a single mum and you admit to being disorganised. I’m pretty sure combined with bad nappy rash, it’s enough to build a case. Single parents are obviously more at risk of mental health issues and, well, it’s naturally more difficult than being a married parent for obvious reasons…

They might just think you’re struggling. I guess it depends what you mean by disorganised as well. If you’re forgetting basic things often such as snacks/drink/spare clothes etc, this would cause concern. It’s also a red flag being late often. Nappy rash alone wouldn’t cause a flag, especially with an on the ball parent who supplied cream and said they had visited a GP. A head bump wouldn’t flag much either, toddlers get hurt often. It’s everything combined I’d guess.

I'll say it louder just for you - the nappy rash was not prolonged, he had regular nappy rash byt never BAD and prolonged.

I welcomed them in, the case was closed once the enquiry was completed. Would you like to me to attach the report? 🙄

'Staff noticed that your nappy area was very sore, and there were two
lines between your bottom cheeks that appeared to be weeping. The nursery contacted your mum and informed her that they would be making a
referral to Children’s Services. They felt that she did not show much concern about the issues raised.'

Direct quote from the report.. so yes that was the reason for the referral.

I am asking what more can I tell them abiut a head bump, and whether maybe the manager just doesn't like me much and whether moving him would solve it.

I haven't missed anything.

Further quotes;

Case to be allocated to ** for the completion of the Section 47 CP investigation.
S47 risk assessment 24/06 and C&FA to be completed and sent to ** no later than 03/07

I agree with social worker's recommendation to close our involvement at
this time. However, in the event of any further worries around neglect,
this will be assessed and appropriate support will be identified.

OP, do you think we are actually stupid. Are you suggesting that we should believe that the police and social services attended your home because your child had nappy rash?

Yes they came unannounced, I wasnt even at home I was bowling with the kids. I have nothing to hide and welcomed their checks, I was pretty surprised it was warranted but again, case was closed. This one was last year. Just feels like she judges every move zi make is all I mean.

Oh I cba to keep explaining it. I will attach some screen shots of the report so you guys see for yourself with sensitive information censored.

I dont know what else was said, I can only go by the conversations I had and the report.

I am that anxious about the nurseries thoughts I even change when I arrive there so they cant accuse me of leaving him in a poor even if hes done on it on the way or something. Makes me late for work on a daily basis.

What you believe is up to you. Or do you just not want proving wrong in black and white?

I have no reason to come on ANONYMOUS mumsnet of all places with the savages on aibu to just make it up or hide bits 😆

If not personal then fine, I was just wondering if it could be. Again, nothing to hide.

It’s going nothing to do with being proven “wrong in black and white “. The reason I said don’t share the report is out of respect for the privacy and dignity of your child. I’m surprised I’m having to explain that.

Thats what I said I would censor information and only show generic info. I don't need explaining, you're just going out of your way to wind me up as though I'm making it up/not telling full story.

All I wanted to know is whether the manager could just dislike me or she could be just be thorough and I'm over thinking it.

Sharing it even with some information blanked out is still sharing information that should be confidential to you and your son.

I’m surprised you need that explaining to you seeing as you work in healthcare.

I work with vulnerable people. If I shared their experiences, even with no identifying information, I would still be breaching their trust.

And in answer to “All I wanted to know is whether the manager could just dislike me or she could be just be thorough and I'm over thinking it”. The only reason is that the manager has concerns about the well-being of your child.

@FedUp120028

Moving nurseries would make you a bit of a red flag. The nurseries will communicate a handover and it will be quite obvious you are moving right after a head bump incident. Also, if you refuse to let them communicate, the new nursery will consider that a huge red flag immediately.

In our Nursery we have incidents, accidents and pre-existing injury forms. Incidents are quite serious and have to have happened and been witnessed at nursery. That might just be our place though. Do you know if you were asked to fill out the correct form?

Why isn't your house baby proofed if you have two of them?

In all likelihood I wouldn't move him and certainly wouldn't prevent communication between nurseries. He loves it there and other than feeling like she is looking for fault I have not other reason to, I just hate walking in theor each morning. Maybe I am just rubbish and but as far as I know they are perfectly safe, happy and healthy.

I was asked to fill out a pre existing form when I took him in on Thursday morning last week and today they said they needed to me to add more information to the form?

Some times I just wonder of she has 'it in for me' so to speak.

Baby proof by getting rid of windowsills and bedside tables?

They obviously have concerns that relate to more than just nappy rash so are now being extra vigilant. Pre existing injury forms are just procedure but I would imagine you are on their radar for some reason so want to make sure these things are done in as much detail as possible in case they are ever needed in the future.

You are not being transparent about the mash referral. A singular incident of nappy rash would not meet the threshold for a s47 and thy certainly would not attend with police. Is there a history of dv? Or could they have been concerned about physical abuse causing the marks?