AIBU to feel embarrassed after colleague’s comment about payday?

[Malteaser197]

My colleague said ‘’oh my wage slip has come through’’ I said ‘’oh yeah, payday has come round quick I think, thankfully’’ (pay day tomorrow). She said ‘’oh, I never think like that. I don’t even think about it, just stick my wages into an account, save it, spend it if I need too’’ felt embarrassed by this. As I live pay check to pay check, and obviously she was stating that she doesn’t and being paid makes no difference to her.

I misread the post at first and thought that the part that upset you was that your colleague had said that she thought pay day had come quickly this week - until I saw that you felt embarrassed by her actual reply and realised it was you who had said that. Perhaps she took your comment to mean that you didn’t really need it yet and so thought your circumstances were similar, or at least that yours were better than they are.

I've accidentally done something like that - somebody mentioned it was payday two days ago and I hadn't realised. I didn't say anything crashingly stupid, thankfully, but after 30+ years of being on the bones of my arse and narrowly avoiding homelessness, debating what was most important out of 29p toothpaste, 49p soap, £1.59 toilet roll or bus fare to work (bus to work and nicking 3 bog rolls from the toilets whilst praying I wouldn't come on for another week won that debate), I'm finally where I could be so wrapped up in work that being paid for it hadn't entered my mind.

Somebody who has never experienced that and has therefore never had that continual mental drain could very easily put their foot in it without ever meaning to.

I'm on the opposite side... I have plenty of savings and wages just goes in to it... But have a colleague at work who is always talking about how she can't afford this and can't afford that and that she is desperate for payday and makes comments about my lunch and how she can't afford to eat like that, or my lunch box looks "expensive".... It makes ME feel uncomfortable and embarrassed! Especially since we're doing the same job... For the same pay ... She has one child and I have 4!!

I am lucky enough not to live paycheck to paycheck, but if someone made a similar comment, I would agree with them or make some non-committal comment. It's really bad manners to point out that you're not in the same situation.

Yes, this is how I would take it as I'm similar. Check my account randomly but have a rough idea of what is coming out on AP and what I can spend on incidentals. Actual payday wasn't important to me but that doesn't mean a missed one wouldn't have hurt. This is something that has come with age though. Don't be embarrassed and remember life is fluid. You can be rich one day and poor the next. No one knows what's around the corner.

This
She is the unusual one

This is why I don’t discuss money with colleagues. Avoids any kind of awkwardness and really it’s no one’s business what your situation is. You’ve nothing to be ashamed of.

It may be that she manages her money in such a way that means she shifts her pay to a savings account to earn interest and then shifts it back to her current account as bills come in.
DH and I do something similar. 2 joint current accounts and a joint savings account all with the same bank. My wages have come in today and will meet our direct debits. DH will be paid on 31st. His wages will be swept to the savings account.
We use our only credit card (he's secondary card holder) for absolutely everything and on the last day we can pay it off without accruing late payment fees or interest we pay it off in full. In the meantime his wages have been earning interest.

It makes me cringe when people say stuff like this. It’s insensitive and crass.

Will colleague be earning well, or does she have a high earning spouse

I used to work with someone who did this. Every month would ask “oh is it pay day?” She was the sole earner in her house. Of course she knew when pay day was. It’s an act so as not to look like they need the money. Trust me on this one

So weird. I’m quite happy to admit I need the money from my job! If I didn’t, I’d be doing something far more exciting with my life than my job…

Insensitivity: the overall boss said the other day that he pays more in tax for the year than many of his workers earn in a year. He said it to me, one of his lowest paid workers.

I'd want to say 'how fascinating. Thank you for sharing that. I've never known someone to put their wages into a bank account and spend them when they need to. I usually just flush mine straight down the toilet.'

Honestly, you never know how people's lives are.
She may have gotten defensive by your comment and thought she was having a hard financial time and she then says that.

Or she is well off financially and said that without thinking.

Not everything has to be overthought honestly.

We all live differently and different times in our lives. It is what it is.

You should have replied ‘that must be so difficult for you’.

Only a tosser would say something like that.

You shouldn't be embarrassed and she shouldn't be ashamed by what she said either.

You both have differently lives and different expenses. Times change for everyone all the time.

There have been times I've lived payday to payday. Other times when I've been fortunate enough to be able to just work and save most of my pay.

None of it is anything to be embarrassed about.

It's also easy to lose track of expenses if someone else is paying your bills or if everything is set up on direct debit/credit cards. Then you don't think about it as much .

Please don’t feel embarrassed OP, your colleague sounds like a dick and if anyone else heard her I bet they thought so too.

Standard conversation isn’t it? The old “thank god it’s pay day soon”. Think I’ve had variations of the same chat in every job I’ve had.

The only person I’ve worked with who sounds a bit like your colleague was a lady I worked in a shop with who loved to remind us all that she didn’t need the job, it was just for pocket money. To be fair, she got away with it to some extent because our manager was a bellend and she used to have it out with her and it was funny to witness…everyone did think she was a bit of a knob though.

I’ve never heard a colleague say anything about being pleased it was payday.

They all pretend they don’t need the money. The lower the salary the more standard that behaviour is. Bizarre

I thought everyone knew when their salary comes in. Even if it isn't needed for a few days very few wouldnt know when it was due.

Your colleague is the one who should be embarrassed. Imagine being so tactless and oblivious. A "let them eat cake" type personality is something to be ashamed of.
Fwiw I actually have a countdown app on my phone that I reset every month to the next pay day.

I'm always surprised at the number who seem to splurge after payday then run out towards the end of the month. If you're on a regular salary it's not that hard to work out what rough weekly spend you can afford. You don't have to be wealthy to spread spending our.