AIBU to feel embarrassed after colleague’s comment about payday?

[Malteaser197]

My colleague said ‘’oh my wage slip has come through’’ I said ‘’oh yeah, payday has come round quick I think, thankfully’’ (pay day tomorrow). She said ‘’oh, I never think like that. I don’t even think about it, just stick my wages into an account, save it, spend it if I need too’’ felt embarrassed by this. As I live pay check to pay check, and obviously she was stating that she doesn’t and being paid makes no difference to her.

I think you'll find there are far more people living pay day to pay day than those that (supposedly) don't even notice the increase in their bank balance when they have been paid.

Do most people? That’s depressing if true

She must live with family or come from familial wealth I guess. I wouldn’t feel embarrassed, some people operate from positions of immense privilege.

I’d say so yeah. Most people earn fuck all and bills are sky high.

🥱

When we had young children I often had to meet DH at work for cash as soon as he was paid! Those mornings I had used the last egg and 2slices of bread to make egg bread.

Not everyone lives pay-day to pay-day all the time, but I would guess that most people have at some point. I know I have done so in the past.

OP, it's nothing to be embarrassed about.

The obvious things to ask are whether you could get a better paid job and are you sure you are not wasting money on unnecessary expenditure each month. But I expect you have gone down this route.

I had an epiphany when I realised it WAS cheaper to take a packed lunch to work most days. I saved myself about £100 a month (30 years ago) by cutting out coffees on the train (morning and evening) and taking a packed lunch most days. It was only a few pounds each day, but it soon added up.

You’re determined to miss the point.
The colleague not needing to know when payday arrives is not the point. It was a needless comment, designed to put op down.

I'm not sure that the colleague meant it as any kind of oneupmanship. It came across to me more that it was just two people giving their opinions on payday, one waiting for it, one not so bothered. Loads of my work colleagues had husbands or partners bringing in money while my salary was the only one I had to live on, but I wouldn't hold that against them.

And that's the reality for a lot of people.

"Do most people? That’s depressing if true"

Er yes. That the idea of giving up your time and skills in exchange for money.

Nothing worse than a wanker who boasts that they have too much money to care about it. Seems money can't buy you manners.

I would never say this to anyone, it’s insensitive. I’m not someone that relies on my salary, but if anyone says anything like ‘thank god it’s payday’, I just agree. I’m not going to gloat or make a colleague feel bad.

She's probably talking shit.

Embarrassed for her because she feels the need to boast about money in such a crass and unsubtle way? YANBU.
Embarrassed because you use your salary to live on like almost everybody else who works? YABU.

I would say something like this.

I'm a bit amused and a bit horrified about the number of people who seem to think it's a dig.
100% if I said it, it wouldn't be and I wouldn't even be thinking about the possible emotional impacts it might have on the other person. Because it doesn't have for me. It would just be a factual conversation about how I deal with finances and a casual response to their comment.
Zero judgement on anyone else, just "oh, no, that's not how I do it". And I live on my salary alone, for all those who claim it's only possible to think that way if subsidised.

I can also understand those who say she might just be careless with money and so doesn't think about it.

The only interpretation I don't get at all is the intentional dig. Unless you have a conflict history with her, I think that's just people speaking from their own insecurity, and I doubt very much that that was in her mind at all.

Whether it was or not, you still shouldn't be embarrassed - you're doing your best and that's perfectly reasonable, so be proud of yourself.

Im always skint like 10 days before payday 😆

Ignore the bragger.

Jesus OP, learn to eye-roll and move on.

If she is the kind of person to be deliberately vile then you know what she’s like.

If she isn’t like that normally then forget it.

And if you don’t know her well enough , ignore it.

I’d say most people rely on their wages to be able to pay their mortgage and bills, yes.