AIBU to feel embarrassed after colleague’s comment about payday?

[Malteaser197]

My colleague said ‘’oh my wage slip has come through’’ I said ‘’oh yeah, payday has come round quick I think, thankfully’’ (pay day tomorrow). She said ‘’oh, I never think like that. I don’t even think about it, just stick my wages into an account, save it, spend it if I need too’’ felt embarrassed by this. As I live pay check to pay check, and obviously she was stating that she doesn’t and being paid makes no difference to her.

I don’t understand why you are over sharing personal information about your financial situation and then complaining when someone responds in kind. Would it only be acceptable for her to reply about her situation if she was skint too. That makes no sense.

Keep your personal finances to yourself in future then you won’t have to worry about getting peeved because someone else is doing better than you.

She's the one who should feel embarrassed, not you. Wellmannered people don't deliberately make others feel like shit. She's a twat and you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.

See, I do find it cringey, but I also know I'm being weird about it.

I've never lived payday to payday even when I was living alone on a low income. I lived on a tedious diet (toast and banana, cupasoup and bread, an apple, then some kind of meat and pasta and rice/veg for dinner), I bought a bottle of wine on a Friday and mostly walked etc etc etc. Lived within very tight means, and knew exactly what I had.

I do find it vaguely annoying to have people chunter on about needing payday etc when there's basic things you know about colleagues to know that it doesn't need to be a state of emergency on a monthly basis.

Don't be embarrassed.
She sounds like an insecure arsehole.
Ignore her.

Maybe it doesn't make a difference as she doesn't have much so its all allocated, or lives in her overdraft, or doesn't spend.

I have forgotten payday sometimes as it doesn't change what I spend payday or any other day

I’m on a higher salary than her, and I didn’t over share she asked me a question and I made a light hearted comment back. I just thought her response was strange. But thanks for the tip! 😂

When I was younger I’d be counting the days down to every payday and sometimes trying to find spare money down the side of the sofa and in handbags. I worked with quite a few people who were always surprised when I mentioned being relived when payday came round. They said they never thought about it. I was always incredibly envious.

Yeah and pigs have wings.

Don’t think it was intended to embarrass you to be honest I think you are reading into it too much. Xx

I don’t live pay check to pay check … obviously I need paying every month or I wouldn’t be there, but I’m not counting down the days. Get paid at the end of the month but don’t know when down the pin pointing the actual day. Unlikely would voice that to a colleague who does though 🤷🏻‍♀️

Means running out of money at the end of the month and needing payday to come.

She's an idiot. The majority of people are bloody thankful to see payday.

I feel like there should be two different things. An org wide one, including men, about how women might need accomodations at work like sitting in a cooler place, relaxed rules on uniform etc. And a separate session just for women where they can speak openly about their GP being a dick and forgetting their own name.

Oops wring thread 🤣🤣

The only embarrassing party in that scenario is your colleague.

What a fuss over nothing. She was a bit tactless. You were an bit oversensitive. There is no need for you to feel embarrassed, most people are glad when pay day arrives. Those who don't notice are either rich or feckless. I've no idea which of those your colleague is, but either way, she was probably just stating her approach to payday, not making a sideswipe at you. Give it no further thought.

I was talking to a friend this week who has a very high-level legal job and a famous husband and she mentioned that she was counting the hours till payday this month. It made me feel a bit more normal!

I work with someone who doesn’t really
bother with or worry about activity in her bank. She checks her bank statement once a month when it arrives in the post.
she knows she lives within her means and pays her bills manually, not by DD so she knows what’s going on.
she’s not desperately fussed by pay day either as has obviously lived within her means and has a buffer.
…. she hasn’t got a smart phone…. That’s a £1000 saving for starters!

just because someone doesn’t live pay check to pay check doesn’t make them rich or privileged (necessarily) it just makes them aware and organised.

You have nothing to be embarrassed about plenty of people are living paycheque to paycheque and don’t always believe what people are saying we had a colleague who would brag non stop about money and how he didn’t really need to be working he ended up taking some time off and when he returned we found out that he very nearly lost his house and car the same house and car he told us were fully paid off they weren’t he had defaulted on his mortgage and car and was in a whole world of financial difficulties. Don’t worry about what others say or think they are irrelevant and you have no idea what their truth is.

I’d be interested to read more on this - where do you get these stats from please?

some people do just make conversation without point scoring, you know!

If anything, everyone pointing out she MUST have been trying to make OP feel small/judging OP in some way are betraying the fact that indirectly that must be their own thought process.

It's very plausible that the colleague might honestly not care in the slightest about OP's finances because she's got a million better things to be getting on with and thinking about. There's no actual proof that just because she manages her finances one way she thinks she is better than OP.

God it must be exhausting to be colleagues or friends with some of you, let alone living in your own heads, if every offhand comment is a potential insult. Do you react the same way if the colleague had mentioned going to the gym every day after you'd said you watched TV last night, or cooking from scratch when you're eating a pret sandwich, or talks about their kids if you're childfree (or vice versa), or is a vegetarian when you eat meat, or is married when you aren't, or every other tiny thing that people might do differently from one another?

There was a survey done by HR/pay roll people Ciphr to inform employee wellbeing. There are also reports from Citizens Advice. I'm afraid I can't link, but you can Google 'living pay day to pay day'.

It's not just you living paycheck to paycheck! Last month our company's pay didn't go in on time - I'd had literally pennies in my bank account for the previous 3 days and was anxiously counting the hours to payday. I moaned about it to a colleague who replied " oh well I've still got about £900 left from last month so at least I'm ok that score"!!!
I felt a bit rubbish too but it's all relative. We have different lifestyles / circumstances so we're obviously not going to spend the same money!

I don’t get paid til the last working day of the month so have to wait until 31st which is 4 days away yet!!! Can’t come quick enough as still have one more weekly food shop to do yet! Beans on toast next week!!!

I don't know anyone who doesn't live paycheque to paycheque!! Your colleague was very insensitive and seems very out of touch. But people who've never had to struggle have no idea what it's like,
You definitely have no reason to feel embarrassed!