AIBU to feel embarrassed after colleague’s comment about payday?

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My colleague said ‘’oh my wage slip has come through’’ I said ‘’oh yeah, payday has come round quick I think, thankfully’’ (pay day tomorrow). She said ‘’oh, I never think like that. I don’t even think about it, just stick my wages into an account, save it, spend it if I need too’’ felt embarrassed by this. As I live pay check to pay check, and obviously she was stating that she doesn’t and being paid makes no difference to her.

This.

Or they're making out they live paycheque to paycheque...after they've put 2 grand a month in their savings of course!

Well, I expect you and I wouldn't be friends and that's probably good for us both.

It's only insensitive etc if you're someone who has (and believes everyone else has) a permanent subtext to all conversations. It's only snide if you're attributing intentions that (for us) aren't there.

There's a whole world of people who simply say directly what they mean and aren't constantly trying to snipe at people, so we're not tuned into it.
We socialise very well together.

Some are autistic. Some are engineers, developers, etc. Full range of people, of course, but there are definitely clusters in those sorts of professions.
It's just a different set of social rules. It's mostly much more straightforward. We don't understand your rules and you don't understand ours. And that is also fine, people are different.

There's no need for embarrassment. You know your colleague, no one here does. Do you think she meant to be mean when she said what she did, or was she just freely reponsding without thinking? People are in different financial situations, doesn't make you better or worse, doesn't require embarrassement or pride. It's just life. All that matters is whether this is someone you usually get on with, who seems to have good intentions towards you and others and who is generally a nice person. If so, don't give it another thought,

People who brag like that are often lying to themselves. She could well be in debt up to her eyeballs but wants you to think otherwise. Whenever I hear people brag about out money I just assume the opposite lol

They meant to make themselves feel bigger at your expense. Their comment was ignorant, just ignore it.

Thanks. Just to confirm, she has told me things about her life, regarding her husband etc. So it could well be true for her in that she doesn’t have to think about payday. In the moment, it did feel designed to make me feel smaller, and she has a bit of form for it at times

This!! And she's not necessarily a twat, maybe just thoughtless/insensitive.

But OP, no need to feel bad, most of us are in the same boat!

Yuck - a woman who isn't on top of her finances and is probably being seriously subbed by a man. There are way many women like this than you'd think. She should be the one who is embarassed!

I don’t understand why people are assuming that she is being subbed rather than having earned her own money. Isn’t that misogynistic?

Exactly.

I remember a colleague, on learning I had a mortgage, said "only mugs have a mortgage".

The OP wrote this: she has told me things about her life, regarding her husband etc. So it could well be true for her in that she doesn’t have to think about payday which seems to suggest that her husband may be subbing her in some way.

You shouldn’t feel embarrassed by it, but I understand how it may make you feel. I work with someone who has a wealthy husband and she said she doesn’t need to work, but wanted a “career” of her own and to earn her own money, she literally just puts most her wages into a savings account each month or spends it on clothes, days out, make up etc. it’s quite gutting to hear when you are counting down th days to payday.

Ah I always live pay check to pay check these days lovely I don’t know many people who don’t either sadly. Times are tough.

I dont necessarily live pay check to pay check - I do have some money squirreled away in case of emergencies but I live and budget on my wages , but I will still go into work tomorrow and say - "isnt it wonderful that the first notification on your phone on a Thursday is your wages have gone in? "

The lasses I work with know Im not totally broke as in if the car needs some work I can cover it, but also know I yellow sticker shop, charity shop and cook from scratch etc

They have their own priorities on where they spend their money, young, saving for new phones, getting beauty treatments, saving where they can for a deposit

They find my thriftiness weird, I find their spendthrift ways scary , but we are all different

Dont take any heed of anyone else - do you

Agreed. Being skint isn’t more virtuous than having loads of money

If that was her normal life she wouldn't mention it because it would be entirely normal to her. She's mentioning it because it isnt really but she wants you to think it is.

Your colleague should be embarrassed, not you. She sounds like an idiot. I think you’ll find most people are at work for the pay, not just for fun.

Your colleague is extra crass!

I'm terrified at the idea of not having a salary for the 1st time in over 30 years later this year, moving areas

Your colleague is such an idiot. Don't even bother thinking about what she said.

She was tactless. If a colleague said to me "thank god it's payday" I would just agree, even if I wasn't also keen for payday!

I was made redundant in 2008 and even now come the 23rd of the month the word payday pops into my head. I now get paid on the last working day of the month but the word payday doesn't pop into my head because as soon as the money is in my account it's out.

Sounds like she has a few issues if she felt the need to say that.

Ignore them, what a shitty thing to say.

You have nothing to be ashamed of, absolutely nothing

So out of touch! I remember when I mentioned to a colleague that I wasn’t going to take a full year of mat leave because we needed to pay our mortgage. She was also pregnant and replied that she would would be taking a full year of mat leave but then again, her husband was an exceptionally high earner! 😂 Just not sure some people live on the same planet as everyone else. But also - your colleague is the one who should be embarrassed for either a) being tactless or b) exaggerating the comforts of her financial situation!