I am so sick of hearing about menopause

[haveyouheardthemenopauseisshit]

I get the menopause is a big deal for many women and the symptoms are not nice.

However, do we have to talk about it all the time? I feel like I am hearing about it multiple times a day. We have menopause awareness sessions and e-learning at work. I’m targeted by advertising every time I look at my phone for some new product / vitamin / book etc which is supposed to help with menopause symptoms. I feel like it’s constantly being mentioned on the radio, TV, by people I know.

If someone is forgetful, it’s the menopause. If they’re tired, it’s the menopause. If they’re angry, it’s the menopause. If they’re hot, it’s the menopause.

I’m 39 and I feel bombarded by all of this “THE MENOPAUSE IS COMING SOON AND IT WILL BE SHIT” messaging.

I am also a bit worried that it will make it even harder to be taken seriously as a woman in the workplace, since the prevailing message now seems to be that women over 45 are basically useless because of all the issues caused by their hormones.

I’m guessing I’ll be in the minority here and everyone else will think that the awareness raising is a good thing but I just find it quite depressing!

I agree with you OP. I am now petrified of what is to come thanks for everything I am being bombarded with. I think it’s good to have some forewarning, but honestly I feel like my life is going to be completely over from when peri starts due to all these debilitating symptoms.

Oh no user random number I am truly devastated by this analysis (must be my peri)

I‘m so glad the chat around this has been happening.

i had no classic symptoms at all but started to have particular issues I had no idea could be related. It was only because women in my family said did you know that can be peri that I started HRT and then the issues stopped. Since then I’ve been able to help another woman.

TBH sadly this is something we need to talk about to protect ourselves because the NHS is poor at peri/menopause care.

I wish I had understood the menopause better when it hit me in my early 40s and I thought I was suffering from some serious illnesses. I had no idea it could start with unexplained and mysterious anxiety symptoms that are extremely debilitating. It led me to make wrong decisions. This period was the worse in my entire life and I wouldn't wish it in my worse enemy.

I think it is great that there is now better awareness that the menopause is a lot more than a few months of got flushes and most importantly that experiences can be very different from one woman to another.

Saying all that, I still agree with you that we've turned it into a self pity, self focused, public phenomenon. Women do not to be exposed to much of it every day of their life before their time comes. Being respectful and open minded to it, yes. Being bombarded with it from all aspect of life, no need.

I know. But being so "hiding under the duvet/it won't be me" isn't going to work for everyone.

Not sure that language like “mass hysteria “ is conducive to a discussion. But it certainly helps those of us who are suffering feel more shite and dismissed so thanks for that

No one is saying that people should not be menopause aware, but it is used as a excuse for everything.

If at work and you rely on someone and they are constantly making mistakes that have an impact on others and it is put down to the menopause, its down to the employee to do something about it and take personal responsibility. I say this as someone who has been through the menopause. The work place cannot keep making allowances for this.

I also get the impression alot of companies are making money out of this.

I know the menopause has affects on women, but I am sick of it always being talked about. Example I am so tired it's the menopause. I am tired as well.

You don't need the whole world to pretend to be perimenopausal in order to validate your existence (it's a bit like the trans "everyone has a gender" thing - no, this is genuinely a nothing for many many people).

Similar to a previous poster, I suffered for 40 years from awful periods, but had a relatively easy menopause - got a bit hot if I was cooking in the kitchen and had to go and stand outside, but nothing significant.

I had an aunt who was similar - permanantly anaemic throughout her life, always ill. Then had a new lease of life after menopause. Recently celebrated her 100th birthday.

I think it is good that menopause it talked about much more, but I hate that every headache, wakeful night or forgetful moment is labelled as related to menopause. And my dp has many more of these 'symptoms' than I do.

I'm in the workplace, I'm post-menopause. I'm delighted to say that despite all the chat about it, my workplace - an international company - is full of women who are likely to be peri-menopausal and menopausal and they are all still taken seriously.

I'm glad there is lots of chat about it. If it happened to men, the world as we know it wouldn't exist! Of course there will be women who don't experience many symptoms, just like there are women who sail through pregnancy and childbirth with no nausea, no discomfort, no stretchmarks, quick and easy labours and births without tearing and then take to breast-feeding like ducks to water. Fortunately, we get plenty of preparation these days for the possibility that this is not the case and you feel sick as a dog, your ligaments go all wonky, your tits feel like they're hotter than lava and you end up with forceps and a baby who screams like the possessed every time it goes near your leaking and blocked boob.

So, thank goodness we are not all putting on a stiff upper lip anymore and pretending that our pelvic organs aren't shrinking or prolapsing, or our temperature control has gone haywire, our minds might feel like they are filled with fog or absurd anxiety all because our hormones are turning themselves inside out.

@haveyouheardthemenopauseisshit I hope you sail through menopause without a symptom, I really do. But on the off chance that you don't, maybe spare a thought for all the women before you who suffered in silence and untreated. And be thankful for all those who did kick up a fuss and now we have HRT and a bit of understanding by the medical profession and also in the workplace.

I have mixed feelings here. Until recently I didn’t realise how bad it could be so I am glad that I am now better informed but at the same time I am now absolutely terrified about it (I am a couple of years younger than you), and fear that I won’t be able to perform well at work in a few years time which isn’t a good mindset. I also agree that it’s not good for making men see women as equally capable in the workplace .

Same, my husband has developed midlife anxiety and insomnia (which we are working through with various techniques). Maybe it's peri too.

Nope and I thinks it’s obvious I’m not saying that.

My first post on this thread was in response a pp saying they haven’t suffered and they don’t feel it’s a big deal. I think if you are coming from a place of no lived experience and being quite frankly, dismissive in your language it’s going to be a long trek to influence the person with the experience. Does that make sense?

And my post later to Grey I feel demonstrates I’m well up for the conversation of different perspectives. But don’t begin by dismissing how shite I feel and act surprised when it irritates me a tad.

Yeah I think this too. I'm same age as OP and feel like everyone keeps suggesting peri for symptoms of tiredness and pain and I guess it could be but I don't personally think that's it in my case (and don't want it to be!) and whilst you can get peri beginning at that age and many women do, it is actually early, not average, onset.

When on earth have I asked anyone to do that?!!

Dementia, that’s another issue not to talk about. Osteoporosis, another one. Making a will. Power of Attorney.

Let’s all go out and dance barefoot in the daisy strewn meadow of ignorance.

Do you hiss "just wait until you have a broken hip and dementia!!!" at older relatives?

This.

I’m 47 and a teacher. I had to take a day off today as up all night flooding and I was scared that it could happen in class and couldn’t reach a toilet or be out of class long enough to change.

At 39 I was running half marathons still. A lot can happen in a short space of time.

Ok well come back when it is your turn, menopause was often brushed under the carpet another thing for women to "endure" i am glad you are sick of it because if it has any affect on you it will be in 10 years time, and you are wondering what is happening to you hopefully you will remember hearing about it everywhere,

Excellent point - many GPs are not very well informed, how do we expect ordinary people to just know about menopause if even the medics have blindspots?

The opposite of "Ha ha you wait" is not ignorance and inaction.

Couldn’t agree more, it’s overwhelmingly and I am so bored of it all. I am sick to the back teeth of listening to people wang on about their peri menopause symptoms. It’s beyond tedious.

I have never heard anyone say "Ha ha, you just wait until you have dementia".

Maybe something else for us to look forward to in the future