I am so sick of hearing about menopause

[haveyouheardthemenopauseisshit]

I get the menopause is a big deal for many women and the symptoms are not nice.

However, do we have to talk about it all the time? I feel like I am hearing about it multiple times a day. We have menopause awareness sessions and e-learning at work. I’m targeted by advertising every time I look at my phone for some new product / vitamin / book etc which is supposed to help with menopause symptoms. I feel like it’s constantly being mentioned on the radio, TV, by people I know.

If someone is forgetful, it’s the menopause. If they’re tired, it’s the menopause. If they’re angry, it’s the menopause. If they’re hot, it’s the menopause.

I’m 39 and I feel bombarded by all of this “THE MENOPAUSE IS COMING SOON AND IT WILL BE SHIT” messaging.

I am also a bit worried that it will make it even harder to be taken seriously as a woman in the workplace, since the prevailing message now seems to be that women over 45 are basically useless because of all the issues caused by their hormones.

I’m guessing I’ll be in the minority here and everyone else will think that the awareness raising is a good thing but I just find it quite depressing!

If at work and you rely on someone and they are constantly making mistakes that have an impact on others and it is put down to the menopause, its down to the employee to do something about it and take personal responsibility
Would you say of someone with SEN? I really struggled at work with the impact of the menopause. Mainly because I went from sleeping relatively well to becoming an insomniac despite doing all the right things. A few days, even weeks of poor sleep is bad enough, after years, yes, it will seriously affect your performance. You can take personal responsibility without finding the right remedy for you for a long time. It took me years. When I finally did, I went back to being the person I was before. The boss who treated me with little consideration, I told him to get lost, even after she begged me to stay because she realised my corporate knowledge would be very hard to replace.

The other side is being told that the strange feelings of depersonalisation and jamais vu I was experiencing were menopause symptoms. Turned out it was epilepsy. Found that out after a major seizure and subsequent tests.
When you get to that certain age, most things get blamed on menopause.

I did go through the surgical menopause at the age of 47 due to endometrial cancer and subsequent total hysterectomy. My work place, with it's "menopause policy", were hardly sympathetic.

It is good to have the info out there. Menopause does have some positives too!

We're bombarded with all sorts of information and advertising all the time. A lot of it not applicable so I ignore it. But thanks to algorithms you're being marketed things that are possibly more appropriate to you. I think it's good, my mum's mum didn't ever discuss her menopause, and so my mum has no clue what she she got hers. Luckily we're not in North Korea so we can ignore what we want.

It's really depressing. I feel like I have nothing to look forwards to.

To be honest the two problems are similar in that there's a push to use labels as an excuse not to deliver. Your colleagues don't owe you cover, you need to make an effort.

YANBU.

Heard the same about motherhood. 'Oh, just you waitttttttt until the baby is born', said with glee. In reality I found it an absolute walk in the park. Had a great, healthy DD who slept like a trooper, was never ill, grew up to be a very decent, non-tantrumy toddler, and we're now in the 'dreaded teenage years,' and it's even better, she's a delight. Smart kid, easy to talk to.

Lost the weight promptly after pregnancy, and didn't find being a SAHP for a while difficult at all, mostly just stereotypically sat on my arse, it wasn't taxing, just a bit boring.

So with the menopause, I'll deal with it when it comes. I'm 38 and sick of hearing 'oh, just you waitttttttttt' all over again. What will be with be, no point fucking fretting over it.

Talk about it by all means, just no need to ram it down everyone's throats all the goddamn time.

It's just something that has entered into the public conversation very recently, and hence a lot of interest and hype around it from businesses looking to gain. Once we get used to it and it's no longer taboo, attention will go somewhere else.

What kind of effort do you suggest?

Not sitting around shrugging and saying "well that's peri for you nothing I can do!" would be a start. Perhaps you feel otherwise.

Same. Im 67. Myself went through medical menopause age 38 ( total hysterectomy). Went on HRT and got on with it.. HRT to me was a wonder drug.. my libido shot through the roof. My skin/ nails/ hair/ energy was fantastic. My Mum and sisters all started early ( 50 ish) got the HRT and got on with it.

Talk about it by all means, just no need to ram it down everyone's throats all the goddamn time

This makes no sense are women allowed to talk about it or not do you want prior information or not ? @LuciferTheMorningStar

I don't know where you hang out but hearing about a couple times a day?! You need to get out more!

Am all for information. Women's health is often overlooked, underplayed and yay, awareness is good. Not just for women, but for the workplace, for partners, for understanding something that they may not be going through themselves or may never will.

No, because I am of an age when I am more worried about the possibility of getting both a broken hip ( probably followed by terminal pneumonia) or dementia on my own behalf.

It is possible my relatives are hissing at me, but if I didn’t have my hearing aids in I wouldn’t hear them…….

Come back and tell us about it when you're 55.

I’m so glad of the discussion and awareness around peri menopause and menopause. Years ago, women suffered in silence and men were clueless and unsympathetic with the often genuine reason that it wasn’t talked about.

A woman I used to work with tried to take her own life at 47 because she thought she had dementia. Thankfully she is still here and found out her memory issues were to do with peri menopause, she went on HRT for a while and her brain fog and memory issues improved.

A friend of mine started having symptoms in her mid 30s and went to her GP where they confirmed she was having an early menopause. Without it being discussed, she wouldn’t have known. She was delaying having another child before she knew.

I have found the talk of it very helpful to my own peri menopause. My workplace are very up on it, do all the awareness sessions and have been great with me, allowing some adjustments when necessary. It hasn’t been detrimental as I got a promotion last year.

As with everything, you don’t have to listen to most of it if it’s not for you. Turn the radio or TV off, don’t click on links or threads etc. I do that about everything that I don’t want to hear or talk about and it cuts out most of it. Why go on some sort of campaign to stop it being there for anyone who does find it useful? The only person I’ve ever heard say it’s all too much are a couple of older men in the family, but then they couldn’t cope with seeing their wife’s tampons in the bathroom, they had to be out of sight. 🤨

What does getting on with it mean ?

🤭

No, no point in fretting, but having information isn't fretting and I've not experienced anyone ramming down throats of everyone.

I do hope you continue to have easier journeys with everything in life but your experience isn't the same for everyone. Seems that understanding and empathy could go a long way...

To be honest the two problems are similar in that there's a push to use labels as an excuse not to deliver. Your colleagues don't owe you cover, you need to make an effort
These are exactly the type of statement that makes you want to say 'I hope yours is even worse than mine and we'll talk about it then'.

Nice how you are making assumptions that menopausal women are making no efforts when they struggle!

Agree.
Nothing much to 'get on with' while on HRT is there? HRT stops the symptoms, the whole point of the stuff!

I don’t like people flippantly referring to’brain fog ‘ etc as I think it can give the impression that all women over 50 are incapable of eg working
But I very much appreciate that some people have a very hard time with the menopause

‘Getting on with it’ is what about 99% of people do anyway, so big deal 🤷🏼‍♀️

Exactly this.

Well my experiences around birth, weight loss, breastfeeding and child rearing have been similar. But had they not been, I think it would have been beneficial to have known that was normal too. I don't feel the need to complain that we should brush the fact that some women have horrendous birth injuries under the rug.

What's the dividing line between talking about it and 'ramming it down everyone's throats all the goddamn time'? 10 minutes per person per day? 100 minutes total for every woman in the the UK? A special dispensation of 6 extra minutes for people who have been through terrible menopauses if they can offer proof from a medical provider?

Not aimed at you @LuciferTheMorningStar, more of a general comment, but I think it's absolute shite to tell women they shouldn't discuss their issues openly and honestly and as much as they want.

But it is brain fog. It's flipping awful and yes, it's harder to get on with work for some of us. When not on HRT I cannot sleep. Every night is a struggle to get to sleep and stay asleep, and not due to hot flushes. Very hard to function as you once did when you can't sleep.

Anyone who thinks women over 50 cannot work are just assholes but it would be better to have some understanding in the workplace. To me it's no different in having the workplace provide sanitary bins, maternity leave.. it's all to do with being part of a woman and good to make some allowances and show understanding if on occasion it's needed.