I am so sick of hearing about menopause

[haveyouheardthemenopauseisshit]

I get the menopause is a big deal for many women and the symptoms are not nice.

However, do we have to talk about it all the time? I feel like I am hearing about it multiple times a day. We have menopause awareness sessions and e-learning at work. I’m targeted by advertising every time I look at my phone for some new product / vitamin / book etc which is supposed to help with menopause symptoms. I feel like it’s constantly being mentioned on the radio, TV, by people I know.

If someone is forgetful, it’s the menopause. If they’re tired, it’s the menopause. If they’re angry, it’s the menopause. If they’re hot, it’s the menopause.

I’m 39 and I feel bombarded by all of this “THE MENOPAUSE IS COMING SOON AND IT WILL BE SHIT” messaging.

I am also a bit worried that it will make it even harder to be taken seriously as a woman in the workplace, since the prevailing message now seems to be that women over 45 are basically useless because of all the issues caused by their hormones.

I’m guessing I’ll be in the minority here and everyone else will think that the awareness raising is a good thing but I just find it quite depressing!

The 'just you wait' schtick is unnecessary and unpleasant.

Everyone's experience is personal and there are pluses!

YMMV, but my minuses: Dryness and atrophy. I take a small oestrogen pessary for that and use a mild steroid cream.
A bit of brain fog. Cleared eventually. I take NMN as a supplement which helps, as does super-dark chocolate.
Fat redistribution. More on my belly, which is new to me. I do have my butt back - it vanished for a while!
Skin texture - crinklier now. I've gained maybe 7lbs. I'll take that.

Pluses: No periods. No contraception. No 1/4 of my life wanting to hurt myself in blind fury (I had the worst PMT). No cyclical bloating. I give far less of a shit about what people think of me now. Make up now makes a much bigger difference, which is nice. I can put a low-key face on and look like I've really made the effort!

I'm much more myself now, 5 years into it. No HRT apart from the oestrogen pessaries.

This topic has seem to have sprung up in everyone's faces lately.
I take a rather cynical view.
Babyhood and infant hood have been monetised.
Parenting, childhood and teens have been monetised.
Women aged 20 to 40 are targeted with adverts (for snake oil).
My logic is that this is the next phase in the monetisation "journey".
Of course, once you hit 55-ish the monetising takes a different stance with guilt-trowelling about funeral costs...
I often wonder why is it usually/often a woman recommending plans to a man.

I agree.

There are a lot of bitter and defensive posters on this thread.

We need more balance. Not all women sail through the perimenopause and not all women have an easy time of it.

I worry that with the subject being talked about so much that people (mainly men, I suspect) are going to get tired of hearing about women and their hormones.

At least it is easier to access HRT these days.

I’m sick of hearing about maternity leave and midwife appointments. Not all women have children but ALL women go through menopause. The misogyny here is angering and I’m shocked this thread has been allowed to stand. I’m reporting it anyway.

I doubt that it will get pulled.

I think this is true of everything regarding women's health, from puberty to periods to childbirth to breastfeeding through to menopause. But to my mind, it's a win every time a woman is informed enough to ask for what she needs at every stage.

Menopause talk is only boring and irrelevant, until it jumps up and bites you on the arse.

I was happily getting on with life, until I hit aged 48 and was paralysed with fear at the thought of having to drive my car ( which I’d driven for years). Then came the anxiety, hot flushes, dry vagina, irritability and heart palpitations. I thought I was losing my mind!

I had to seek out a private MS because I had been diagnosed with primary breast cancer, 10 years previously. She prescribed HRT and all my symptoms calmed.

Fast forward 4 years and I was diagnosed with metastic breast cancer and another cancer, which resulted in a full hysterectomy. My HRT was abruptly stopped and my symptoms appeared overnight. I’m now dealing with menopause, permanent chemo and incurable cancer. Life is brutally hard.

Some women sail through menopause, whilst others have a really tough time.

Years ago, fewer women worked professional jobs or drove, so if they were struggling with menopause, they could probably stay at home? Now it’s different. Women deserve better. Menopause should be talked about, awareness raised and recognised in the workplace. Of course you can’t blame everything on menopause, but for many women, symptoms are real and can be debilitating.

Women’s healthcare can be tough enough to navigate as it is. Menopause shouldn’t be added to the list because it’s not being talked about enough.

I don’t agree with all the lotions and potions being aimed at menopausal women though. Or half the supplements on the market. That to me is often a money making scam!

Im pleased it talked about now.
But i do get fedup with it being blamed for everything a woman does wrong.
Prei and menopause seem to be an excuse to some.

MN have refused to pull the thread because they figure the OP will be “challenged” so does that mean I can add my voice to the “fuck yous” that I’ve read?

What young girls spoke about periods in hushed tones 20 years ago? My daughters started theirs them and it was openly discussed both within relatives and amongst friends Exactly the same when I started mine which was 43 years ago

And why would 50 % of the population" suffer in silence". Ok maybe 50% of the population are women but they don't all suffer as you put it

Openly discussed with men present, or amongst women only? If the former, I applaud your family! 👏

I realise the full 50% of women don't suffer. I have experienced only the mildest of symptoms, and not anything requiring medical attention. I still think it's a great thing that the broad spectrum of experiences is being openly discussed.

Then perhaps you and your family are unusual? Most girls don’t go around talking about their periods to relatives or men for that matter.

No, they MAKE IT SOUND like you won't be able to function at work after age 40.

That's what I wrote.

I've been on HRT for 2 years....and only had it reviewed once,which was two weeks ago, and only because I got onto them about it. I was originally under the Menopause clinic due to a history of breast cancer in my family, but after a few weeks they decided the risk was small, so discharged me and passed me back to the doctor.
They did blood tests to see if there's any other reason for my symptoms, then all they want to discuss was my cholesterol....asked me to monitor my blood pressure then never followed it up....missed telephone consultations with me because they 'forgot'....
Doctors make you feel like you're wasting their time.....because a lot of the time they don't actually know what to do with you...the last male doctor I spoke to was useless- I have to get up to the toilet 2-3 times a night and he suggested it was the way I was laying....
It's laughable...
If I'd had more information 10 years ago, I'd have been better prepared.

I have thought this about perimenopause too. It’s not that it’s “not a thing” — I think it actually is. The problem is we are pathologising it just a bit too much. It’s okay to have some awareness on how our physiology changes, but it doesn’t need to be the constant focus. I see this reflected in other areas of health as well such as ADHD, autism and various mental health difficulties. Awareness is an important thing, but we run the risk of everything being pathologised too much. Normalising these changes is good, but we’ve gone too far in my opinion.

I completely agree with you.

It is right and proper that it isn't brushed under the carpet.

The pendulum has gone too far the other way though.

Are you a man? Or a very young woman?

Why would that comment make them a man or a young woman? How insulting. Considering they were agreeing with me, do you think I am a man or young woman too?

😁
Neither.

Let’s just hope you don’t have a bad time with it then aye?

Yes, but Pimplebum, the point seems to be that menopause is alright as long as only the woman having whatever experience she is having is able to cover it up and go on with business as usual, so nobody else would know if it's a good or a miserable one. If it doesn't impact on anyone else then that's the way of doing it right and keeping control. It can all be fixed with HRT too - well, obviously, along with more exercise, no alcohol, great sleep and not as many hours at a screen, sometimes a coil whether you want one or not, and this is an easy combination to deal with, as everyone finds out with no probs. HRT is not at all hard to get hold of and really quick to work, with no other worrying effects that you didn't know about before trying it, so this awareness stuff is all just such a downer for anyone else to have to see/hear evidence of.

Was that aimed at me?

What is the problem with acknowledging that many women have a tough time of it, but also, many women don't?

This thread is all about how awful the menopause is for everyone. The fact is it isn't. I am in no way denying that a lot of women find it tough - a point you seem to be missing.

And for the record I have already been through it, and suffered some horrible migraines at the time.

I want to stress to everyone on this thread that it does get much, much easier when it is behind you.

Well I'm post menopausal and I still can't feckin sleep for more than about 4 hours at a time, and that's why all the good sleep hygiene and supplements in the world. It's shite and I'm knackered all the time. When exactly does it get better?

I'll be honest and say that I am a lighter sleeper than I used to be. That's why DH and I are in separate bedrooms now, but the intense headaches and hot flushes are no more.