I am so sick of hearing about menopause

[haveyouheardthemenopauseisshit]

I get the menopause is a big deal for many women and the symptoms are not nice.

However, do we have to talk about it all the time? I feel like I am hearing about it multiple times a day. We have menopause awareness sessions and e-learning at work. I’m targeted by advertising every time I look at my phone for some new product / vitamin / book etc which is supposed to help with menopause symptoms. I feel like it’s constantly being mentioned on the radio, TV, by people I know.

If someone is forgetful, it’s the menopause. If they’re tired, it’s the menopause. If they’re angry, it’s the menopause. If they’re hot, it’s the menopause.

I’m 39 and I feel bombarded by all of this “THE MENOPAUSE IS COMING SOON AND IT WILL BE SHIT” messaging.

I am also a bit worried that it will make it even harder to be taken seriously as a woman in the workplace, since the prevailing message now seems to be that women over 45 are basically useless because of all the issues caused by their hormones.

I’m guessing I’ll be in the minority here and everyone else will think that the awareness raising is a good thing but I just find it quite depressing!

I agree to a certain extent. I think women should be much better educated about their own menstrual and reproductive health. When I had preeclampsia with my first child it was almost impossible to find out any information beyond a page in a pregnancy book and I had to go to the scientific literature to find anything useful. I do think menopause can cause a wide range of symptoms including some that can impact on health and wellbeing, and I do think we need to be informed about ways of managing them effectively. I think the use of HRT should be available to those who want it, and I think we need to have an awareness of the implications and risks of any medications we take. We also need to be taken seriously when we go to the GP so that they don’t automatically jump to the menopause as a reason, or the sole reason, for not feeling well. That said, the whole industry and navel gazing has got out of hand - I once saw a ‘menopause nightdress’ in Primark FFS.

You’re right to be concerned about perceptions of 45+ women’s competence if the message everyone (not just menopausal women) is getting is that we turn into blubbering half-wits once we reach middle age. It can be very damaging to the vast majority of us who are still able and excited to be making full and useful contributions at work (even if we need a cold shower sometimes when we get home). Menopause isn’t terminal, and it isn’t a disease. It is a perfectly normal part of the ageing process, and in my case, at least, it was a wake up call to take better care of myself.

I agree OP. It’s so boring.

Haven't read the whole thread but I saw sanex advertising a menopause shower gel yesterday. Really?!

I agree. It’s everywhere and I don’t think it’s helpful to women as it’s another thing to have a prejudice about.

My menopause was chemically induced as a result of chemotherapy at 44. I couldn’t really say I suffered much beyond a few moments of feeling warm but obviously cancer treatment wasn’t nice.

I appreciate some do as they suffer with other things like menstruating and childbirth but the point is it’s not everybody. And menopause awareness is truly everywhere!

I agree. I’m all for talking about it IF it’s affecting you and getting support but it’s too much hearing about it constantly when it’s not affecting you yet. We don’t talk so much about other illnesses and death when it’s not yet relevant to you yet. You should be able to look up information and get support when you need it.

It’s definitely been forced upon me … some examples include

• friend bought perimenopause book for my birthday … I haven’t read it
• invites to menopause cafe at work
• courses and information at work on menopause preparation
• frequent topic of conversation in friendship groups (which is fine, I’ll go with whatever others want but it is quite boring and repetitive)
• poster on back of toilet doors for menopause events including at John Lewis for menopause preparation ie trying to sell you products!
• targeted ads online for supplements and lots of other products
• topic on many podcasts and tv / news - I wouldn’t mind if the information varied but it’s often repetitive and focuses on how we need to be open and talk more about the menopause- which i don’t agree with as i feel it’s talked about an awful lot!

I’d rather not have to talk or think about it at all and I try to avoid doing so. But it is frequently (like at least once a week) confronting me and I honestly find it really annoying.

It's thanks to women, currently aged in the 45-60 bracket that have ensured menopause is a hot topic. And rightly so.

You're currently 39 and when you get to 49 and the fun starts (and then 55 when you've really gotta dig deep), you'll thank us for raising the bar on attitudes and raising awareness because your GP will be a lot more clued up on the issue than mine were 15 years ago!

I truly hope you don't suffer OP when the time comes because for a lot of women it is beyond shit. A little empathy can go a long way...

Yeah this is exactly it! And they are then furious with you and think you are lying if you don’t find it that bad.

Menopause isn't a 'health concern' like cancer. It's a stage of life and everyone needs to be aware of it. If my manager had been aware of it he might not have sacked me.

I'm assuming you are not suffering because if you were I can guarantee you'd feel differently. You really are a lesson in internalised misogyny.

I'm 33. The only things I've heard about the menopause have been utterly horrific. My Gran said she felt like she was losing her mind, my Mum basically couldn't stop pouring with sweat for years irrespective of temperature so had to have botox. Everyone gets fat, sweaty, angry, irritated, borderline psychotic. It seems dreadfully unjust, given the decades we spend having periods and potentially pregnant and breastfeeding.

Luckily you will probably be able to have HRT, so you will be able to alleviate the symptoms.

Do you not know any middle aged women who are not fat, sweaty and psychotic? They are not all on HRT.
It’s a shame you are now full of fear.

Do the posters ACTUALLY say you won’t be able to function at work after age 40?

Some do, yes. The “just you wait, you won’t be so smug then!!” brigade.

So patronising. OP may not have symptoms that impact her life too much.

I think you misunderstand. The women who have been able to manage their symptoms are not smug, they are pointing out that not EVERYONE suffers.
I’ve been ok. 3 years post meno.
I don’t want every ailment or complaint to be put down to my age.
It’s good to be informed and to be able to advocate for yourself but it is not a given that you get to 40 and your life falls apart.

I will talk about it. I spent three years thinking I had long covid. I lost my job, my social life, felt suicidal. All I needed was hrt. I am doing great now. Thank God for other women talking about it.

Blimey. I’d add a little Post-it saying that it is not necessarily a dreadful thing.
Many of my peers are managing fine. I know many who are not.

YANBU

I’m 52 and in the thick of it myself and whilst it’s good it’s not being brushed under the carpet I’m a bit fed up with it being used as an excuse for everything - including misconduct in workplaces - and young women mid 30s etc claiming to be in peri menopause. Yes I know it can happen young, but it’s not the norm.

Not there yet but I do have the occasional migraine with aura.

This is why my mum never had HRT but she did suffer. Can I really not have HRT due to migraine with aura? Don’t get them very often these days but my mum had loads when she was going through it.

She started peri at 52 and had her last period at 60.

HRT is great I hear, once you find the method and dosage that is right for you. This process can still take a good few years and in the meantime you still feel like a bag of crap 😳

I think some of you just need to surround yourself with nicer people, to be honest.

I keep thinking about this thread and think that there must be something very triggering about menopause information for those who are so bothered by it.

In my work place I am bombarded with "helpful" information and seminars about health matters, personal finance, expected behaviours, unconscious bias, washing my hands, virus control (both IT and human!), online presence, every single religious festival known to man etc. Menopause information is part of that. Most of it I zone out of, because either I don't care, I know already or I'm not interested.

Same goes for pretty much every advertisement I see anywhere. All ads are trying to flog something, so I ignore them.

I fully get if people are being coerced in some way into receiving information they don't want about any topic, but that doesn't seem to be the case, so I'm wondering why some posters find it so very bothersome? Why not just ignore it all and focus on whatever is important?

I think it's a natural swing the other way from it never being spoken about. Much like periods. Young girls now won't speak of periods in hushed tones, which is massive progress from 20 years ago. I'm all for open discussion on everything to do with women's health. Why should 50% of society suffer in silence with anything at all? I do think the menopause branding is hilarious now though. I saw a "menopause" version of shower gel and roll on deodorant in supermarket the other day. It's now a marketing buzz word!

I think l was lucky. Besides a few hot flushes and erratic/gushing periods for a while before it all ended, l think l came out of it (relatively) unscathed.
However, puberty for me was horrendous. Heavy clotting periods lasting weeks on end resulting in me being anaemic and fainting a lot, really bad cystic acne, mood swings.... swings and roundabouts, l suppose.

i would say 80% YABU and 20% YANBU. If information about the menopause is badly communicated, then I do think it is possible that some people will assume that any woman over 45 is likely to be useless. To be honest though, I fell that increasing menopause awareness has mostly been A Good Thing. The awareness makes it easier for women to ask for adjustments at work and stay in employment.

I think the benefits of increasing the awareness of menopause are similar to increasing the awareness of mental health conditions and neurodivergence.