Mumsnet race to the bottom

[limeandwater]

I have noticed on MN there has been a real race to the bottom mentality. To be clear I am not talking about budget advice threads that can be incredibly helpful.

I am talking about the posters that think working people should be so accepting of a miserable life.

Again I am not talking about 5 star holidays in The Maldives, 26 plate Range Rovers, or shopping at Harrods Food Hall.

Somebody posts about the price of coffee then the response is to make your own and bring it with you. Somebody posts about the price of a cafe lunch on a family day out and the response is bring your own sandwiches. Somebody posted about the cost of running a car and the answer is cycle. Like that's realistic in a rainy December.

When did people get so accepting that life had to be miserable?

It's not "preaching" to point out that someone is making false assertions/assumptions. Especially when it's about something that could stop people doing something that actually helps them.

Even if you personally don't care, why would you want to drag everyone else down too? For fuck's sake.

Were you cycling to work every day? Because I was and believe me it was wet as fuck.

Just because something is outwith your experience doesn’t mean it’s false, you’ve just been fortunate enough not to be there.

But the bought part is only a tiny section of the things that bring you peace on the train isn't it?

Which is why both experiences are worth saying.

Remember, I replied to you saying these things are blockers. I'm just saying, from my own experience, that no, they don't have to be.

Lol, but yeah, spoon in a jar of decent instant not good enough for anyone anymore?! Gawd, I feel common.

All this. This thread was literally about this and it has been derailed by all the cycling in the rain with a thermos. Those of us who want to go out occasionally for a meal and a coffee are wasteful over consumers who are ruining the planet and spending beyond our means...etc etc. The point is that people who work hard in middle earning jobs should be free to spend their money on whatever they choose and not have to worry sooo much and the reality is inflation is eating away at this dramatically... Which isnt good for anyone. If you think a £4 coffee is wasteful dont buy it ..but stop telling other people they shouldn't and stop being so smug about the fact that many can no longer afford this.
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What is false is you extrapolating your experiences to say they are blockers for anyone else.

I think the cost of living crisis is miserable and get a bit sad when something prices itself out of my life. But my “how much? you have got to be joking” reflex is pretty strong so my habits change. It’s often relatively small spending as well, there was a big spike in small chocolate bar prices a couple of years ago that outraged me, things like the occasional twirl bar or dairy milk seemed to double in price and I just stopped buying them completely. Increasing the price for these firms is more of a gamble than they realise as once habits change they often don’t change back. Sure someone who doesn’t really have to think about the cost of living is going to keep on spending over a fiver for a coffee on the way to work but some of us are going to think these big global businesses are just taking the piss.

No!! It's grim. Why is it socially acceptable to prefer Yorkshire tea over Aldi own brand 40p a box, but not to prefer a coffee made with an espresso shot and some warm milk?

Most workplaces have showers. You arrive sweaty and take a shower.

Well I’m common too - my coffee comes from a tin - instant bean type coffee, not fussed which one, there’s always one on offer in Tesco - a splash of cream (actual double cream) and I’m very happy. I did have a weekly bought coffee habit until I realised I liked the idea of it more than the actual coffee.

It’s about balance. Nothing wrong with a treat sometimes - I usually make my own coffee at home, but I do enjoy having a coffee in a cafe too.

I firmly believe that it is good to budget in treats/things that bring you joy - even more so if things are otherwise tight, money wise - but you do have to do it within your budget - nothing wrong with cutting corners/costs in one area so you can have your regular visit to a cafe for coffee and cake, or taking a picnic on one day out, so you can afford to eat out on the next one.

I've worked for over 25 years and not once has my workplace had a shower. Shops, receptions and offices.

The point others of us are making through it is just returning standards to where they were 15-20 years ago. Not being able to afford a costa every day is not a crisis. This is why the whole cost of living thing is absolute bollocks - it is just priorities.

Former insolvency practitioner here - there are a lot that prioritise their vehicles over their home - mostly people who rent. There are lots of people who do have enough income but cannot prioritise, then there are those who refuse frugality and end up homeless.

It is completely fine to prefer a whatever coffee you like. As long as you don't moan that it is expensive. It's like buying a Ferrari and complaining it costs a lot to run.

Some places I've worked have showers and some don't, but either way I just used to cycle at a relaxed pace so I only had to change clothes, no shower needed.

I honestly didn't get any sweatier cycling to work than going on the train. Probably less sweaty on hot sticky days.

We forget that cycling didn't used to be seen as a sporty thing to do, it was just a way to get around. A few of the (mostly male) cycle commuters I see could do with remembering that!

I didn't stay at home at all, and have seen plenty of the world, in my younger (pre self-employed days) and with work too. I have moved home 23 times in my life, abroad and within the UK, I've seen a fair bit. You also said I didn't have fun? Really? Is having fun only limited to going overseas to cook yourself for 2 weeks a year and buying a coffee? If so, that's a narrow point of view on fun.

But as for sitting next to a pool in a hot country doing little? Not for me, never has been, utterly boring. Yeah, I would like to have gone more to actually explore off the beaten track at my leisure instead of work travels but I also really really appreciated my line of work, being my own boss and considering we spend longer awake every day at work, I enjoyed my job, not everyone gets to say that so am lucky. Perhaps it was a trade off, but I didn't need or afford 2 weeks off work in order to feel value in my life or my work, I certainly didn't think of it as a 'right'. I lived within my means and used the money to pay my bills, student debt and live debt free. No, I wasn't going to get a credit card to go on holiday, one life or not. To me that's madness, credit cards for me were emergency costs, not to lead a life I cannot afford. I don't want to spend my 'one life' worrying about how to pay my debt.

Agree.

If coffee addicts spent 6 weeks without coffee they’d wean themselves off it entirely and be far wealthier for it.

That's far too balanced, sensible and a fair comment for MN! 😃

Then you get wet.

😎

I agree mostly, but I do think our generation (I’m aged 40) feel entitled to have lots of things that my parents generation would not. For example we all don’t need a new car, hair and nails done all the time, kids in new clothes, new fancy decor, foreign holidays, birthday presents and birthday parties etc. et

My parents both worked, and one month they sold the Hoover to pay the mortgage. My husband and I cut back on things so that we can afford the things we want. My 3 brother-in-law & their wives are still somewhat fins propped up by their 70 Something year old parents. I find it embarrassing when they all roll up in nice cars with nice clothes on, but apparently need a handout once twice a year.

I think sometimes a sense of realism, for how lucky we are does actually help. It is a shame about the price of a coffee in a café, but with my parents we went on a caravan holiday and took a picnic and it was absolutely fine.

Not this past winter as I'm without work.