AIBU to be a little heartbroken my youngest is moving away..

[mrsleep]

DD is 23 and has a great job and nice boyfriend who she’s been with a year. Life is so good for her and we are proud of the lovely young woman she has become. She has recently decided to move 40 minutes drive away with her boyfriend, in his town. She’ll have a much longer commute but has chosen his town as it suits his work and it’s a much busier place to live with lots of shops, pubs etc and their friends are in that town.
DH and I are struggling a bit with the thought she’s moving out and quite so far away, she’s the youngest and we will then have no children at home at all. It seems like only yesterday our children were small, the house was full of noise and mess and chaos. I’ve tried not to show it but all I’ve done is cry since they had the offer accepted on the house.
I know it’s our jobs to bring them up and give them wings but bloody hell it’s hard. 😭

I thought you were going to say she was moving to another country! My parents live an hour away, its not too far for a day trip. Lots of people commute longer than 40 min

40 minutes drive away? My youngest lives in Australia. Kindly, you need to get a grip.

Hahah I know I sound so dramatic! I will miss her loads, she’s been the loud, messy, funny, shouty child and the place will feel so quiet.

It is 40 minutes !
She is 23
Arrange lunches and teas

40 minutes? That’s nothing! People commute to work everyday taking longer than that. My son lives a 50 minute train ride away and it’s absolutely nothing.

I thought you were going to say she was moving abroad! 40 mins is nothing. My DPs live that far away and we see them once a week or once a fortnight.

Time to focus on gratitude your DC are well and happy, and think about your next chapter.

Do what my parents did, get more pets that are young so you always have an animal around, making noise etc.

40 minutes??!!

Oh no! You'll never see her again!

I get you OP. My youngest is 4 but I still dread the day you’re talking about. Hugs to you, and agree with PP about getting more pets!

40 minutes. Get a grip.

😆 Awwww @mrsleep I do feel for you, it's tough when the last one leaves isn't it?! I know people are roasting you on here a bit, but don't take it to heart.... 😘 I was quite blue when my 2 left (they are very close in age and left really close together and never returned!) And they were at Universities 3-4 hours drive away!

They came back after a few years though and by their mid 20s, they were living 25 to 40 minutes drive away. Not that far. (And they still are that distance away.... in large towns not far from each other.)

You will feel bereft for a while, but you will get used to the peace and quiet.

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Oh I fully expected to get a roasting, I’ve been here a long time 😂😂 I’m surprised at how sad but glad I feel, it’s lovely for her and she’s so excited! I’ve been buying lots of little bits and pieces for them and we have a lump sum to give for them for furnishings. It’s just a bit shift for me and DH, you have twenty odd years of kids then suddenly it’s just you two. Make the most of every minute because time FLIES and before you know it the whole reason your world turned have left home and you feel quite empty and a bit rudderless. It’s a very strange feeling

That’s not very far OP. I moved 4 hours away from my mum and even I manage to visit her every other month or so. 40 minutes is less than my commute.

Ah bless you. Our youngest left for university seven years ago has never returned home. The jobs are in the city so he stayed with his partner. He's two hours away. They do visit for weekends when he catches up with friends.

My eldest was 2000 miles away for six years we only saw him at Christmas.

It is a strange feeling! Honestly, it took me about 8-9 months to stop feeling blue and bereft. It was such a weird, empty feeling.

As has been said though, just thank goodness she only 40 minutes drive away, and hasn't gone to Australia! 😬

And your son is 5 minutes away...i mean, come on!!

Im dreading this tbh. My eldest is a flight away albeit a short one. And it sucks not just being able to hop in the car and go and see him.

I hear you.

Hopefully she is close enough that you can still be spontaneous and visit her on a whim or have her visit you on a whim. I think that's what I miss the most.

Edited to add...I am dreading it with my youngest. Hopefully he won't end up a flight away too!

40 minutes 😂 I drive that and back 4 nights a week just for teenage sport training. I thought you were going to say she was emigrating.

This poem comforts me

Aw I shed a tear reading this. What a beautiful message to savour it all.
currently mum of three small boys, in the chaos I sometimes forget how lucky I am.
sending hugs OP, I am sure you’ll all settle into a routine of regular visits and meeting for coffees /lunches etc

40 mins is very close. She could be emigrating and then it would be every bit within her rights and should be a point of enjoyment.

you said your daughter is happy - be happy for her and embrace this change in her life. She is an adult now and will do better with a truly supportive and non-controlling / demanding mum. You will have a better relationship with her if you don’t make her feel rubbish for moving 40 mins down the road.

think of some ways to make your emptying nest happy and focus on those for the short term.

long term book in some nice meet ups in your daughters new patch.

It'll be excruciating until you get used to it. Then it'll be fun seeing dd and hearing how she is. It will be the nee normal.

Mine are 6 hrs and 5 hrs . 40 mins would be great.

My 22 year old is about to join the RAF. Who knows when and where I will see him next. We have to let them go and spread their wings, it’s hard of course but that’s our job. Look on it as a success, you have raised her to feel confident and ready to be independent.

Frankly, you need to get a grip. She’s hardly moving to Australia!