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Original poster

1st Mothers day ruined by partner

96 replies

AoifeMum87 · 21/03/2026 20:29

Last Sunday was Mother’s day and my partner doesn’t believe in mother’s day or father’s day says it’s just commercial rubbish. I asked him to please buy me a mother’s day as it was my first and would mean the world to me and my little girl is only 12 weeks old. Sunday rolled around and i waited for the card and when i realised one wasn’t coming i was hurt and upset that he had just ignored me. I told him i was very hurt that he didn’t buy me a card and he said he had forgot when i’m the shop but he could give it to me again that the specific day didn’t matter. When i told him again how much getting a card was and how he had hurt me he stated that it was just commercialised mass produced crap and to stop sulking. Am i being unreasonable i was pregnant with our daughter last father’s day and i baked for him, card and a present.

OP posts:
ImFinePMSL · 21/03/2026 20:31

If he’s sees it as commercial rubbish, he isn’t going to change his views.

What was his reaction when he received the Father’s Day card and present from his unborn child last year?

WinterSunglasses · 21/03/2026 20:32

Don't bother with Father's Day this year. Is he any good with birthdays and Christmas? If not stop getting him things for those as well.

millit · 21/03/2026 20:33

It doesn’t really matter that it’s not important to him, it’s important to you and you’ve told him that it means a lot to you. All he had to do was buy a card and you’d have been happy. That’s really not asking for too much.

CrocusesFlowering · 21/03/2026 20:34

Is he generally crap in the relationship? Are you the parent doing everything for the baby?

Yewoo · 21/03/2026 20:34

It’s a bit crap of him to not even get a card when you had expressly said it’s what you would like. No matter what he thinks about Mother’s Day, if it matters to you he could have put a tiny bit of effort in to make you happy.

PinkyFlamingo · 21/03/2026 20:37

It doesn't matter if he thinks it's commercialised rubbish he knew you didn't and he couldn't even be bothered buying you a card, such a small thing to even have to do. That's pretty poor.

ThankYouNigel · 21/03/2026 20:38

YANBU- I agree with you, I would also have been extremely upset and disappointed. Your little one is too young to make a card, it was your first one and a big deal to you, understandably. Hopefully your child will make/buy you cards herself when she gets older, but it’s a very poor show if the other parent won’t help organise one in the meantime. Hope you’re OK 💐

Moonnstarz · 21/03/2026 20:38

Well I am not sure why you baked for him last year knowing his thoughts on fathers day. I can understand why you are upset, especially as you asked him to get you a card, but I can also see him thinking that it's nonsense as he doesn't believe in doing it and at 12 months old it would be from him rather than the little one.
Not sure of your intentions regarding childcare in the future but hopefully if you use some form of childcare you will find they do mother's day crafts and you will then have nice things your little one did.

Sassylovesbooks · 21/03/2026 20:43

If your partner doesn't want to celebrate Father's Day, that's his choice. However, you do want to celebrate Mother's Day, and therefore he should have respected your wishes and bought you a present/card. Instead he chose to dismiss your feelings and opinions.

You need a calm conversation with him and explain how you are disappointed in him, that he didn't respect your feelings.

You know what to do on Father's Day... don't bother.

PashaMinaMio · 21/03/2026 20:47

Congratulations for becoming a Mum. Welcome aboard.

Mother’s Day is Mothering Sunday of ancient times. It’s based on Christian and historical fact. It was a day off when servants typically I suppose and living-in in service up at the big ‘ouse returned to their mother church where they were baptized and presumably went ‘ome to visit their mothers too.

It’s a shame your miserable wet blanket of a partner is so devoid of joy or desire to acknowledge you becoming a mother. As others suggest, forget all about Father’s Day in June. He’s pissed on his chips.

Goodadvice1980 · 21/03/2026 21:01

I’m going to guess your partner is a bit of a let down in general OP.

Shoxfordian · 21/03/2026 21:04

How is he on valentines, anniversaries, birthdays? Equally shit?!

Stop wasting your life

Deskdog · 21/03/2026 21:05

I’m with him. It’s all screaming commercialised nonsense. You think otherwise. You’re clearly not compatible

Shinyandnew1 · 21/03/2026 21:07

Does he get a card for his mum?

5128gap · 21/03/2026 21:07

He's hiding laziness and maybe a bit of spite behind a principle. If he doesn't believe in cards there's a thousand ways he could have acknowledged you in a 'principled' way. Bulbs for the garden, a nice cake, a photo of you and your baby...he's not very nice.

PolkaDotPorridge · 21/03/2026 21:08

Men that say they don’t believe in Mother’s Day/Valentines Day/Christmas etc are really just tight, lazy bastards. They don’t think it’s commercialised they’re just mean.

MidnightMeltdown · 21/03/2026 21:12

You’re not his mother and your daughter is 12 weeks old! I think it’s rather odd to expect stuff from your partner, it’s not Valentine’s Day. I think you need to unpack why you feel so irrationally upset about it.

Farewelltothatid · 21/03/2026 21:14

Deskdog · 21/03/2026 21:05

I’m with him. It’s all screaming commercialised nonsense. You think otherwise. You’re clearly not compatible

It's not ALL commercialised nonsense. I accept a lot of it is .
But many many people take it as an opportunity to show their love and appreciation in really unique and caring ways.

OP didn't ask for anything extravagant or difficult to buy . She asked for a card. And she told him it would mean a lot to her. And the nasty piece of work couldn't even do that for her. He cared so little about her happiness.Really really sad.

LilyBunch25 · 21/03/2026 21:18

Farewelltothatid · 21/03/2026 21:14

It's not ALL commercialised nonsense. I accept a lot of it is .
But many many people take it as an opportunity to show their love and appreciation in really unique and caring ways.

OP didn't ask for anything extravagant or difficult to buy . She asked for a card. And she told him it would mean a lot to her. And the nasty piece of work couldn't even do that for her. He cared so little about her happiness.Really really sad.

Show quote history

Agreed. So he thinks its commercialised, fine- but a couple of quid for someone who is meant to be important to him? Sorry, he's just not very nice.

FlowersInPots · 21/03/2026 21:25

I think that’s really poor of him OP, quite clearly shows that he isn’t willing to be flexible at all for you.

FWIW, my DH doesnt believe you should give Christmas cards to people you are going to see at Christmas so for a few years I didn’t get a card off him.
We bickered about it a few times then I was very clear. It means something to me and I would like him to make the effort to get one for me, even if he thinks it’s a bit silly - and I’ve had one every year since.

i think doing this on Mother’s Day is worse tbh. This is the chance for children to show thanks to their mum and for a long while yet your dc is going to need her dad’s help to do this for you.

I really hope he improves but I would make it very clear Mother’s Day is about what you want, not him. You can ignore Father’s Day if that’s what he wants, but Mother’s Day isn’t about him.

nomoretwisters · 21/03/2026 21:25

What goes around comes around. He doesn’t care you don’t put the effort in too.

Sad but true

PollyBell · 21/03/2026 21:49

It was your choice to do that for him he didn't ask or expect you too and sulking is childish

You know his thoughts so why expect anything else?

Hang on he wasn't a father last fathers day?

ImFinePMSL · 21/03/2026 21:52

PolkaDotPorridge · 21/03/2026 21:08

Men that say they don’t believe in Mother’s Day/Valentines Day/Christmas etc are really just tight, lazy bastards. They don’t think it’s commercialised they’re just mean.

What about us women who think these holidays are commercialised? Are we lazy and mean too?

FunMustard · 21/03/2026 21:53

I really hate the message that because he doesn't "believe" in something, he should be ok to just ignore it and actively sneer at your belief.

I equally hate the tit for tat attitude so often touted on here as a response - IMO, if you think this is reasonable, then your relationship is already over. Or at least at rock bottom.

@AoifeMum87, a partner who doesn't love you enough to spend a couple of quid on something that will make you happy, is not a great partner. It didn't even need to be a card. He could have bought a bunch of daffs. Or framed a nice photo of you and the baby. But it shows no care or thought that he would rather do nothing to stick it to the man than just do something nice for you. He needs to understand that some things he might find silly are important to you. And probably vice versa.

PollyBell · 21/03/2026 22:00

FunMustard · 21/03/2026 21:53

I really hate the message that because he doesn't "believe" in something, he should be ok to just ignore it and actively sneer at your belief.

I equally hate the tit for tat attitude so often touted on here as a response - IMO, if you think this is reasonable, then your relationship is already over. Or at least at rock bottom.

@AoifeMum87, a partner who doesn't love you enough to spend a couple of quid on something that will make you happy, is not a great partner. It didn't even need to be a card. He could have bought a bunch of daffs. Or framed a nice photo of you and the baby. But it shows no care or thought that he would rather do nothing to stick it to the man than just do something nice for you. He needs to understand that some things he might find silly are important to you. And probably vice versa.

If i have to order my husband to get me a card or present or whatever what is the point?

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