I hate strip clubs

[stripclub]

My DP has some friends staying over with us that he’s not seen for ages. The friends want to go to a strip club tonight.
i don’t like/agree with strips clubs and find men who frequent them to be grubby and sleazy.

AIBU to tell them if they want to go to somewhere like that they can find somewhere else to stay?

Agree - yanbu , strip clubs are so degrading to women. If they can afford lapdances , they can pay to stay in a hotel. I wouldn’t want people in my house that pay to leach and stare at women like theyre an object

to add:
DP is non-committal about going/not going. I suspect he may let himself be persuaded if others were up for it.

We have children.

Yes, agree with you @stripclub and what @Kay286 said

DP is non-committal about going/not going. I suspect he may let himself be persuaded if others were up for it.

So he's not against strip clubs himself?

He hasn’t said either way. These are my suspicions. I’ve told him how I feel so I think he’s going to keep quiet now.

Grim. Is he already aware that you consider strip clubs unacceptable? I couldn't have any respect for or stay in a relationship with a man who was willing to do this kind of thing. Morally, but also just the sheer level of 'ick' it would give me.

Yuck.Tell your DP he needs to model better behaviour towards women for the sake of his kids. Also tell him his friends sound very immature and you have enough kids already to look after so they can stay elsewhere. They’ll say you are over reacting etc. Stuff that . Your house your rules.

If my H went to a strip club we would be divorcing. He’s always known they are a deal breaker for me so the divorce would come as no surprise to him.

And any man who thinks looking at often, very vulnerable women, performing for them, is entertainment, are not someone I would want to be associated with never mind someone who would be allowed to stay in my home.

So he's keeping his opinion to himself? I wonder why he can't just say, yes I agree with you, strip clubs are demeaning for women.

I suspect it's because he doesn't agree with you but doesn't want you to know that.

I wouldn't have unrelated men staying over in the home with kids to begin with.

Drunk after going to a strip club, nope, they can find a hotel.

I think it’s weird to go to a strip club and then head back to your mate’s family home with his wife and children sleeping upstairs.

Yeah I bet he would lol.

At the end of the day, your husband needs to tell them a definite no.

And if he doesn't want to do that, when his friends are a distant memory to you, you'll still be married to a man who has no problem with going to a strip club, knowing how much his wife hates them and the men who frequent them.

That's your problem here, not his friends.

Strip clubs are the thin end of a oppressive, abusive, disgusting wedge for me. I actually feel sorry for men that they have such little control over their drives that they need to pay money to have women dance near to naked for them, how pathetic and sad, does that really make them feel titillated, powerful, entertained, gross

I’m guessing they will go and not tell you.

Yes this has crossed my mind. I’ve made it very clear that this would be unacceptable.

Tell your DP they’re not staying. Nor even visiting.

Repulsive, grubby, sexist men. 🤮

As long as a man would be happy for his own daughter to work in a strip club….

It says it all about what type of men they are that they have had this conversation in front of you.

I think it's completely grim. I'm a man and if I meet up with mates I've not seen for a while it's a shed load of beer and a curry...then stagger home....it's pretty pathetic to want to go to see strippers

I wouldn't want them staying whether they end up going to the strip club or not. The fact they sit there in your home and plan it in front of you like it's an everyday thing would be enough for me to know they're a 'type' and not a type I'd want in my home.

And they had this conversation early in the day and have talked to you about it?

Given your DP hasn't closed the discussion down and told them he isn't interested, and given they are old friends of his, I would assume he and this bunch of misogynistic men are no strangers to strip clubs.

Honestly OP I would be telling these guys to go find somewhere else to stay and I would be having a serious discussion with your DP about his views on objectifying and buying women. Because unless he could assure me he found these places degrading and disgusting and not places hewoukld ever want to go to I would be rethinking my relationship with him.

are strip clubs still wrong if the women full consent and want to work in them ?

If they want to stay with a family then their behaviour needs to be family friendly. That most definitely isn't.

Decent men don’t go to strip clubs. The company your DP keeps leaves a lot to be desired. As pp said, a bit of a red flag as regards your future relationship.

Or he does agree with you but doesn't want the 'lads' to know he finds strip clubs demeaning to women.