I hate strip clubs

[stripclub]

My DP has some friends staying over with us that he’s not seen for ages. The friends want to go to a strip club tonight.
i don’t like/agree with strips clubs and find men who frequent them to be grubby and sleazy.

AIBU to tell them if they want to go to somewhere like that they can find somewhere else to stay?

I don't know what your point is.

I'm not defending women watching male strippers. It's degrading for the men stripping and degrading for the women watching them. Similarly it is degrading for women strippers and for the men paying money for their bodies. I merely pointed out that the sex industry catering for men is massive compared to the one catering for women.

What has hen parties watching male strippers got to do with these disgusting misogynistic men coming into OP's home and talking about going to a strip club? So totally disrespectful and inappropriate.
And the fact her H hasn't told them he is not interested reveals he is also a disgusting misogynistic creep.

“Ok dear. Whilst you are out watching some woman jiggle her bits around, I am also going to be enjoying myself. I’m going to invite a male stripper round and have him shove his cock in my face. I’ll invite some mates round too so we can all egg each other on and I may or not pay extra to take him to a back room and grope/shag him.
Look me in the eye and tell me you’d be fine with that”.
Idiot. These men just don’t think about anything but themselves.

Be really frank about it with them to their face in a way that will be uncomfortable.

Explain that this is a family home with children in bed upstairs. It is not appropriate for a gang of strange men to go into an environment with the intention of becoming sexually aroused and then come back to your home in a sexually aroused state. Deadpan ask if their plan would be planning to w*nk off in your home later that night with you and your children just metres away or will they be paying for a hooker to finish them off before staying in your home?

Explain that neither of those options is appealing and that they will need to stay in a hotel. I would also be telling my partner to grow a pair of balls and tell his friends that’s not acceptable if he really isn’t into that sort of thing.

Any reunion of men where a strip club is an option for the entertainment definitely means they have done it before as a group. It's either an established activity or It's not. You don't meet friends you haven't seen for a few years and just casually suggest this as a new interest for the group.
There is no way either of us would permit our house to be used to accommodate anyone who finished their evening off at a strip club. Absolutely no way.
As others have said, it's not an inexpensive choice of activity so a hotel should be well within their means if they are budgetting for strip clubs.
Even thinking of a group of strange men arriving at our house after going to a strip club is making me feel nauseous.

What and OP should be pleased that her DP is not averse to paying money to ogle you and lust after your body?

You think it's acceptable for a bunch of guests to come into her home and discuss their plans to go and pay to lust after women's bodies? OP and her DC's deserve more respect than that

If you enjoy showing your body off to a crowd of misogynistic men then fair enough but don't expect the wives and partners of these guys to be OK with it.

Exactly this
your husband needs to ditch these “friends”
or you need to “ditch”
him it’s gross they’re in your family home.

Is it the same for women who go to see things like the Chippendales ( or whatever the modern equivalent is)

I think you can judge a man the company he keeps.

I don’t really have any moral objection to strip clubs but I also have zero respect for men who visit them because it’s utterly tragic to need to pay money to see some tits. Whenever men talk about going to strip clubs I just think ‘Are you 12 or something?’

I couldn’t ever be attracted to the sort of man who was into anything that naff.

exactly, but just as much as MN loves a a juicy ''you are just jealous'' I have zero jealously when it comes to sleazy strip clubs but would get my head examined if I found out I was married to a man who went to one just because of the gross factor sure the women say they have self respect but no one does in those places no matter side you are on

Have to agree. It's no touching and no anything else. So basically they are paying to see women's breasts and maybe their legs apart (sorry but that's what it is) at a distance or pay again and the tits are near you but still no touching.
I mean, seriously, what grown adult over 12 thinks this is a great way to spend an evening.
Unless of course, it's about demeaning the women and a power trip about buying access to see those tits (even at a distance). Which it is, of course.

For those saying that strip clubs are degrading to women - get a grip - the women choose to work there and lots make very good money that they use to pay for their kids/college etc. It is their choice and who are you stuck up lot to decide on their behalf that it is degrading???? For men that go - it is usually a lads night out and who cares? They are boobs. Stop being so prudish. I guarantee the majority of ALL of your husbands and partners have been to one and if you are a massive prude they just won’t tell you

It’s not prudish. Totally agree with Grimly. I just find the whole thing quite tragic and embarrassing for all concerned. If DH went I wouldn’t be jealous (?!) / angry but I would think who are you?! Do I even know you?! I would also be worried he’d had some kind of brain injury as it would be totally out of character for him.

I made him go on my friends DH stag years ago in a grim town and they went to a strip club. He didn’t go in neither did a few others. Locals threw bottles at them. He still hasn’t quite forgiven me for making him go to that!

Ah the old prude word, if my husband cant respect himself he doesn't respect anyone else

I get why 14year old boys giggle about I saw boobies but grown men? Seriously they need a hobby

Degrading or not i would presume the strippers aldo have other issues going on

This is what I wonder too

Did they go?
did your husband shut it down?

Do we still call people “prudes” in 2026? Sounds positively Victorian!

Why would you presume that? That is your own prejudices making that assumption. I am not saying there are not strippers with issues - there may well be. But you don’t know that. Don’t assume on behalf of other women simply because it isn’t a career you would pick yourself. Their body, their choice. And they are boobs. Men are fascinated by boobs. And most don’t go to look at boobs they go with their mates for the banter

Ew... what are they horny teenagers that can't get laid or something?

🤢

They're disgusting. I don't know why they're legal.

Also the men that go to them - they're almost always sex work is work brocialists / left wing men who call themselves feminists

I agree with this to some extent. As a married woman, if my husband went to a strip club I would really reconsider my marriage.

however I used to work in a strip club when I was 18 (not as a stripper, I worked behind the bar) but it was woman owned and the women that worked there felt empowered and earnt thousands per night on a busy night. I don’t agree that they are degrading to women. Lots of the women there are happy and feel very empowered and are paying their way through uni or whatever.

but as an adult, it’s not a place for a married man or woman

They might have felt empowered but the blokes who saw them were not only taught to view them as objects but that it is empowering for the 'objects' to be treated as objects.

Like it or not, men are visual creatures fact! I worked in strip clubs when i was younger. It was amazing money and flexible (pun intended) working hours. The majority of men who go to strip clubs were married in my experience and they were almost always there because they weren't getting their needs met at home.
Most of the time I was paid to just sit and chat!
Why the hate? I never met a dancer who was forced or trafficked to be there they all did it by choice and were living their best lives.

If it’s so empowering why aren’t men doing it to the same degree? The whole thing seems very old fashioned and weird. Surprised these places still exist. None in our city anyway.

Because women's needs are completely different to men's. A male stripper on a hen night is a one off for a laugh, we don't really get off on looking at men prance about etc.

That kind of thing can haunt you when you have finished uni and are trying to get a job though. Or even if you get a job and colleagues find out about your past.