Page 5 | AIBU to expect DH to do screen-free mornings with toddler?

MyPurpleHeart · 23/03/2026 16:21

Are you totally against screen time for yourself too or just your child? I understand screen free households as its in keeping with the set up of the home, but parents who are anti screen time but have their heads buried in their phones confuse me.. Screens are part of 2026, they are literally everywhere.

No i don't put my child in front of the TV 24 hours a day, but yes she does watch peppa/bluey/cbeebies. Its normal and means I can go for a wee without an audience

Newusername3kidss · 23/03/2026 18:11

oh my goodness good luck when baby number two comes along! You really need to chill out. It there was no way she would go back to sleep at 5am then watching a little bit of TV is absolutely fine. Then when iysa

Russiandollsaresofullofthemselves · 23/03/2026 18:55

Your first issue is letting your toddler get up at 5am. you put her back to bed and tell her it’s not time to get up.

But seriously pick your battles! it’s not like he is not doing anything. If he is actively parenting your child to allow you time to do something else then it should not matter if it’s screen time or toys.

WTAFIsWrongWithPeople · 23/03/2026 18:57

StandingDeskDisco · 21/03/2026 14:16

At 5 am I would either go into toddlers room to sleep, or expect DH to do so.

A mattress on the floor, telling toddler very firmly it is still night time, keep them in the room until 7am while you lie there with your eyes shut.
If they really won't stay in bed, they can play with toys or books (make sure no noisy toys are kept in the room), but you still lie there with your eyes shut.
I assume their room is totally childproof and they can't open the door (fit a small slide bolt way up high if necessary).

Teach him to recognise the number 7 on the clock. Bedtime lasts until 7.
You need to train them not to get up so early.

Why not go the whole hog and for metal bars?

I assume their room is totally childproof and they can't open the door (fit a small slide bolt way up high if necessary).

This is horrific advice. Nobody should be locking a child, never mind a toddler, in a room.

Iloveeverycat · 23/03/2026 20:02

WTAFIsWrongWithPeople · 23/03/2026 18:57

Why not go the whole hog and for metal bars?

I assume their room is totally childproof and they can't open the door (fit a small slide bolt way up high if necessary).

This is horrific advice. Nobody should be locking a child, never mind a toddler, in a room.

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The parent is in the room with them the whole time. They are not left alone

Jllllllll · 23/03/2026 20:05

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 21/03/2026 11:47

Why do you think you should be able to dictate how he spends his time, I assume you wouldn't like him to do the same to you? Kids don't need constant entertaining

What do you think screens do then?

Jllllllll · 23/03/2026 20:09

Waheymum · 21/03/2026 11:46

I'm 8-9 months pregnant. This morning our toddler woke up at five and I went to her. I tried to settle her, then read her stories and sang songs before getting her up to have breakfast and play with her toys and do sticker books. DH (who worked late last night and is working over the weekend) only got up because I'm on a medication that means I have to fast before and after taking it so my energy runs low really quickly if I'm up playing with our toddler (I explained everything we'd done thus far so he could follow my lead), and he put Sesame Street on so he could swap with me but also not have to interact or do anything with DD (so basically got on with his morning routine).

AIBU to think that A) he should be continuing my (screen-free) morning routine, B) he could fit his caffeine, toileting, and shower routine into the hour plus I'm looking after our child so he isn't just leaving her in the care of a screen when he 'takes over', and C) he has absolutely no idea how tiring growing another human is (tips for how to explain this to him would be helpful; I've tried showing him articles and he queries whether anyone has scientific evidence for my claim).

Someone else must have been in my position. Please give me tips for how to change this, I don't know how I'm going to manage to continue fun, educational activities from 5am with DD1 when I have a (breastfed) newborn who will need me.

Why are you getting her up at 5am just because she’s awake?

PensionedCruiser · 23/03/2026 20:27

StandingDeskDisco · 21/03/2026 14:16

At 5 am I would either go into toddlers room to sleep, or expect DH to do so.

A mattress on the floor, telling toddler very firmly it is still night time, keep them in the room until 7am while you lie there with your eyes shut.
If they really won't stay in bed, they can play with toys or books (make sure no noisy toys are kept in the room), but you still lie there with your eyes shut.
I assume their room is totally childproof and they can't open the door (fit a small slide bolt way up high if necessary).

Teach him to recognise the number 7 on the clock. Bedtime lasts until 7.
You need to train them not to get up so early.

This.

In my day, Pingu and Thomas the tank engine videos were helpful for later in the day because I knew what was on them and there was no risk of anything unsuitable being seen.

whattheysay · 23/03/2026 22:18

RachTheAlpaca · 22/03/2026 21:44

Gosh there's a lot of parents on here that give their kids screen time it seems. I completely understand you on this one, people have repeatedly said the TV does no harm but many studies have shown that it DOES. Babies and toddlers should have no screen time at all but that's for you and Dad to decide and you need to be on the same page in that regard.

But you do need to teach your toddler that they can't get up at 5am. They need to go back to sleep or play quietly until 7am. If they know they're getting TV time at 5am then they're going to forever wake up at 5am expecting it...

What harm has been shown out of interest? My first two were 7 and 6 when the third was born, he was watching tv from the moment he came into the world he’s now 19 at uni perfectly lovely, no issues with education, mental health, development, socialist or sport. He was also playing the Xbox at 2 years old he just picked up the controllers one day.

Pherian · 25/03/2026 12:38

Waheymum · 21/03/2026 11:46

I'm 8-9 months pregnant. This morning our toddler woke up at five and I went to her. I tried to settle her, then read her stories and sang songs before getting her up to have breakfast and play with her toys and do sticker books. DH (who worked late last night and is working over the weekend) only got up because I'm on a medication that means I have to fast before and after taking it so my energy runs low really quickly if I'm up playing with our toddler (I explained everything we'd done thus far so he could follow my lead), and he put Sesame Street on so he could swap with me but also not have to interact or do anything with DD (so basically got on with his morning routine).

AIBU to think that A) he should be continuing my (screen-free) morning routine, B) he could fit his caffeine, toileting, and shower routine into the hour plus I'm looking after our child so he isn't just leaving her in the care of a screen when he 'takes over', and C) he has absolutely no idea how tiring growing another human is (tips for how to explain this to him would be helpful; I've tried showing him articles and he queries whether anyone has scientific evidence for my claim).

Someone else must have been in my position. Please give me tips for how to change this, I don't know how I'm going to manage to continue fun, educational activities from 5am with DD1 when I have a (breastfed) newborn who will need me.

Sounds like you’re trying to control too much and this is not going to lead to a happy and peaceful home.

My tip for changing this is to stop trying to force people into your routine. You need sleep - that’s fine, but he doesn’t have to do things the way you do them.

StandingDeskDisco · 26/03/2026 09:05

WTAFIsWrongWithPeople · 23/03/2026 18:57

Why not go the whole hog and for metal bars?

I assume their room is totally childproof and they can't open the door (fit a small slide bolt way up high if necessary).

This is horrific advice. Nobody should be locking a child, never mind a toddler, in a room.

Show quote history

I think you misread me. I am talking about an adult being in the room WITH the toddler, with the lock on the inside to stop them getting out into the rest of the house where they will be alone and unsafe.

WTAFIsWrongWithPeople · 26/03/2026 09:57

StandingDeskDisco · 26/03/2026 09:05

I think you misread me. I am talking about an adult being in the room WITH the toddler, with the lock on the inside to stop them getting out into the rest of the house where they will be alone and unsafe.

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Apologies. I did.

You took me back to one of the NCT group I was part of who put such a lock on the outside of their toddler’s bedroom door to stop them from disturbing them.

StandingDeskDisco · 26/03/2026 10:01

StandingDeskDisco · 26/03/2026 09:05

I think you misread me. I am talking about an adult being in the room WITH the toddler, with the lock on the inside to stop them getting out into the rest of the house where they will be alone and unsafe.

Show quote history

Just to add, this should be a very flimsy small slide-bolt with short screws, so that if another adult needed to enter the room in an emergency they could just shoulder-barge the door to open it.

OneAvidBlueWasp · 04/04/2026 17:28

You need to relax on it. It’s lovely to do screen free educational stuff all the time, but with a newborn and heavily pregnant that’s just not going to happen. Get used to it now before baby comes. It’s whatever works, anything goes for survival in those early days. Once you have two, it’s a complete change and shock to the system. You won’t be able to keep doing all this for the older one all the time then, that’s just reality.