All men should be aware of this

[mildlysweaty]

I went for a walk in the sunshine around the back of my child’s school before pickup today. Usually the odd dog walker passes by but it’s pretty remote/foresty. I do this walk often but never go fully into the woods bit alone - because I’m female.

I was walking towards the woods and a person with long hair was walking my way - wrongly assumed it was a woman but when I passed them I realised it was a man in his 30s. I’ve passed plenty of men before walking their dogs, generally they give a nod and carry on. I started to feel a bit uneasy so rather than continue in that direction, I stopped a little further then turned around and started walking back (same way bloke was going).

I was a few feet behind him when he looked back over his shoulder back at me, then he stopped (with his back to me) and started opening his backpack. I felt bad vibes, there was no one else around. I managed to speed walk past him and pretended to phone my husband and had my car key ready to use if needed but all was okay in the end, I then passed some women walking.

In all honesty it could’ve been totally benign but any decent man should know that this sort of behaviour is intimidating for a woman, who’s alone, especially with nobody else around.

To get to my point: ALL men should understand how women need to be programmed to be wary of them, and how they can help is by ensuring they aren’t doing anything that could feel intimidating. They don’t know what it’s like to be a woman, but any decent man should be aware and conscious of how their behaviour may impact. I have reminded my husband of this today. It took a while to shake the feeling from this afternoon.

if voting I guess YABU = men don’t need to know this
YANBU = yes they do need to know this, it’s a way they can help

My days? You changed direction and started to follow him, maybe he was the uneasy one and wanted to get something in his bag incase you started on him!

You need to check yourself tbh.

Agree. I have one of each and won’t be raising them differently. Certainly won’t be teaching my ds to feel inferior.

Exactly this.

Tbh, I think your behaviour in this situation was likely in the wrong. There was this chap out walking, then as he passed this woman , As he felt uneasy he looked over his shoulder and saw the woman had turned round and started following him, so he stopped, pretended to get something out of his back pack to let her pas because he thought it was strange behaviour.

If you were alone in the woods, you'd 'feel more comfortable' if a man was walking behind you than if a woman was? Really? I mean, I get you might not be made uncomfortable by the man, but why on earth would you be made less comfortable by a woman? What do you think she's going to do to you, that a man wouldn't?

Your gut instinct told you this was a dangerous situation so you turned back towards the area where other people would be, you did the correct thing, always follow your instincts

What are you talking about? Literally nothing to do with this thread.

Oh and it’s not the whole group that is sexually violent , it’s a tiny percentage of the group so yes let’s keep things in perspective.

I don’t have daughters but I would definitely teach them to treat men they don’t know with caution and to be careful until they trusted them. Sorry you think that’s terrible but no; I’m not going to say get pissed on your own in the middle of a huge city with no friends or phone. That would be completely idiotic and you know it.
stop exaggerating healthy wariness into hatred of men. We don’t hate them but equally we know what they’re capable of

You are minimising reality. The known daily reality of women everywhere.

The experience of women on the internet is also a known and documented reality. It appears this site has been hopelessly infiltrated now.

Are you a man?

And can I also politely point out that women who think they are OK because they've done a self defence course are fooling themselves

No doubt there are some women who could physically take on a man, but when you are in a situation where a man is using his full strength, the majority of women don't stand a chance.

Bollox. Absolute bollox.

Have i missed something? All he did is look in his bag? Maybe he felt uncomfortable with some random woman turning around and following him and he himself wanted his phone to pretend to call someone, i think it was your actions that was a bit unusual, male or female is someone passed me and then turned around and followed me i would feel uneasy.

Just cherry picking now because we can all do that... it can go the other way too... Do you think these men didn't feel fear?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c3w5y5xyv53o

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c9wxlyg0n2do

He wasn't walking behind her. He was minding his own business walked past her going in the opposite direction and she then turned around so that she was walking behind him.

So parents have to treat their sons like the enemy and have a long list of rules that sons have to be taught about how to treat women like victims and delicate little flowers

So what are the rules for women or are they all saints they dont need any?

Ah the good old 'are you a man' argument because its too shocking to think a woman can disagree with you, good one

You may not like it but it’s true. The vast majority of violent and sexual crimes are committed by a small percentage of men and as regards crimes against women most are known to the victim.

I mean if you think someone is a predator, ideally don’t turn round and follow them.

You think teaching your sons to see women as human beings with feelings and rights that are equally as valid as theirs is treating them like the enemy?

If you raise your DS right, he won't see acknowledging the truth that some men pose a risk as a problem. He'll see it for himself in the behaviour he sees around him and from the news. He'll want to do his bit to help women feel comfortable and he won't feel 'inferior' when he does. He'll likely feel better about himself for doing what he can. I have two adult sons and this is my experience.

My question to OP is that did you expect him to do given the choices you chose to make? He wasn’t following you, he didn’t change direction, you did. He didn’t know who was coming up behind him until he stopped to look, or what their intentions were, he took an action that I would choose if I was him.

He literally did nothing. He stopped to get something he needed out of his backpack. You're the weirdo who turned around and started following him. He probably felt uncomfortable being followed and wanted to let you pass him.

If someone is behaving oddly and turns to follow you, it's safer to have them in front of you than behind you.

This is mental.

You turned around and followed him - and quite closely too because you said you were a few feet behind him.

So this bloke is walking along minding his business, he glances over his shoulder and discovers the woman he just passed has almost instantly turned to follow him and is now bearing down on him, only a few feet behind.

He stops to let the speed walking woman pass...and he's the problem here? 😂

This really is the most likely scenario.

People zone out all the time when they're out walking. It's part of the point. They're not thinking or even noticing other walkers - they're thinking about nature, or mulling over their worries, or philosophising in their heads. As long as you're not physically inconveniencing others around you, it's perfectly OK to do this. Even if you're a man.

This is a nothingburger of a situation. This isn't the same as a man behind a woman at night crossing the road to make her feel safer, which most men know to do in 2026. (Even then they don't have to do it in every situation - if a man needs to stay on one side of the road because he's turning a corner on that side or if he lives on that side, that's OK.)

But in this case there's nothing this man could or should have done differently. If you walk in the woods you have to accept that there may be men with long hair who stop to take things out of their rucksacks. That's acceptable behaviour and they don't need to avoid doing it. They don't actually need to have other people's anxiety at the forefront of their minds at all times.

You clearly have an issue with men to tar them with the same brush. This guy did nothing wrong and you're uncomfortable. You need to stay indoors.