Maintainence man manoeuvred my 3 year old out of the way

[tooloololoo]

Today I was in a bakery with 3year old dd, she went to look at the cakes whilst I ordered. However the maintainence man kept manoeuvring her out of the way back to me whilst I was ordering because there was a vent by her legs. It resulted in dd having a massive meltdown and throwing herself on the floor

On reflection am I being unreasonable to think the maintainence man could have walked me instead of taking ds shoulders and walking her back to me?

At first I was distracted at the till and didn’t realise it was a maintainence person

No. Gentle parenting would be "you can stand here next to me or I can carry you/put you on the reins, which one?" and/or possibly "you want to look at the cakes? Great idea, let's look at them together when we get to the front of the queue" etc

Surely after he brought her back you would have held her hand and made sure that she stayed with you. The only person at fault here is you. You were the cause of your daughter's meltdown not him.

Well that’s what the current climate has caused. There is a good chance that by touching someone’s child, they would get an earful. Some people would still help of course and risk it anyway but not everyone.

He did put hands in her, her mother was clearly unbothered by that, because she made him have to do it again!

If she was concerned, she would’ve put a stop to it before it happened or at least first time!

The parent was lucky you were there and that you are the sort of person who would risk getting a mouthful from the parent. Many wouldn’t

How do you quickly move a small child away from somewhere you don't want them to be, other than by putting your hands on them?

Yes, that’s different.

Why?

Upon reading the title I was all ready to come out swinging in your favour, but after reading the full post, I think the maintenance main was right and you were wrong. I would be holding my 3yo's hand at all times, and if for some reason I had to let go, my 3yo would know to stick to my side.
At best your child was getting in his way. at worst she could have been in real danger.

How is it different, though?

All I know is that a 3-year old who has a tantrum and 'throws herself on the floor' would certainly NOT be given a nice cake as a treat until she behaved herself.

You aren't paying attention and controlling your toddler and get upset when someone needs to move her for safety? The cheek.

At first I was distracted at the till and didn’t realise it was a maintainence person

If you were aware that a man was leading your child by the shoulders and got too distracted to respond, you're bloody lucky he was only a maintenance man.

I kind of half feel like the issue for the OP is that he was a maintenance man and not more upper class? Like why the need to double down on "it was a maintenance man".... it really doesn't matter who it was.

You think that I was wrong to grab a child by the arm, about 3, who was about to run into a main road full of heavy traffic because a gust of wind has blown her toy buggy into the traffic? Her 'mother' was quite away behind, talking to a friend rather than watching her child on a windy day, she screamed at me until someone else who had seen what happened put her right.

Damn. Did she at least apologise?

Really lucky, because that’s SO common. 🙄

I'm guessing your daughter kept wandering over, to see what the maintenance man was doing? In which case, it's possible he had tools nearby that could have been dangerous if she'd touched them? Or she could have tripped/fallen over? Or was simply getting in his way? Did he not say anything to you when he guided her back to you the first time? The fact he had to do this multiple times, suggests you weren't aware where your daughter was or what she was doing? I know it's hard, when you're trying to buy/look at things, so perhaps tell her to stay with you/hold your hand? The maintenance man was stopping your daughter from hurting herself, nothing more.

Why the heck didn't you grab hold of her the first time he bought her back?!

She's your child, not his. She was in his way. You're the parent.

YAB soooooooooo U!

Yeah … I found the original comment to be in such poor taste tbh.

Why, though? James Bulger was abducted in these exact circumstances. It makes my blood run cold to think of a 3yo being allowed to wander free when out shopping.

My kids are older but I always had my 3 year olds hand in mine. One of them let go once and got off the bus before me. Squeaky bum moment for sure. 3 years old is so little to just let them wander away from you.

I'll just let your run under a bus then.

He moved her out the way of danger, he couldn't just leave her by the danger as he goes to collect you instead. You need to watch her better and keep her with you in any shop at all times.

99% 'yeah, you're being unreasonable'.

Is this a record?