Maintainence man manoeuvred my 3 year old out of the way

[tooloololoo]

Today I was in a bakery with 3year old dd, she went to look at the cakes whilst I ordered. However the maintainence man kept manoeuvring her out of the way back to me whilst I was ordering because there was a vent by her legs. It resulted in dd having a massive meltdown and throwing herself on the floor

On reflection am I being unreasonable to think the maintainence man could have walked me instead of taking ds shoulders and walking her back to me?

At first I was distracted at the till and didn’t realise it was a maintainence person

Parent busy not parenting. Surprised when someone else has to do it for them…Do you mean a floor vent?! Surely you don’t want your 3yr old falling down it!

Wtf. The shit people say on this site.

It does happen, but not repeatedly like in this instance

You are the only one being unreasonable here, surprised you even have to ask the question.
Be a better parent to her please.

So he was trying to work and he had to move your dd gently out of the way for her own safety and so he could get on. And you watched this and your only reaction is that he was in the wrong?
You didn't consider at all that you might parent your own dd and move her away from where he was working? And now you want to complain about the poor bloke who was trying to get on with his work.
Yes, YABU.

On reflection am I being unreasonable to think the maintainence man could have walked me instead of taking ds shoulders and walking her back to me?

Yes you are unreasonable. It's not his job to parent your child FFS!

Only last week I had to put my hands on a toddler who was running across the busy leisure centre car park while his mother was chatting to a friend at the main entrance. Cars were coming and going. I took his hand and led him back to his mum who didn't even look at me. I said "You must stay with mummy". She said nothing.

Should I not have done that?

Agree it’s OK to touch kids if there’s an immediate safety concern.

We don’t know how serious the safety concern was in the bakers - it would’ve been better for the maintenance man or staff to ask OP to keep her DC away.

But, after the first time, OP, you should’ve understood and picked your child up or held their hand to keep them out of harm’s way.

I agree except for all adults having responsibility to take action. Reporting abuse etc - yes. But that’s it. We aren’t ‘responsible’ for unsupervised children. That makes it sound like an obligation.

Parents/caregivers have responsibility in this situation The issue is that people feel they don’t have to bother supervising and that someone will step in if they cba and their child puts itself in danger.

If I saw a child running towards a door or whatever because they were unsupervised, I’m not sure I would want to grab them and risk the parent kicking off.

People are obviously mentioning James Bulger as an example of what could happen if things go wrong, just as people talk about car accidents when discussing car seat safety or bring up drownings when talking about water safety - it's a reasonable point! Or course it isn't likely but of course it is possible. Around 50 children under the age of 16 are abducted by strangers every year in the UK, apparently.

YABVU.

I've got absolutely no time for this kind of AIBU. Of course you're being unreasonable. The man posed no risk to your daughter but you did!
Look after your own child properly and stop looking to blame or criticise someone else who was taking your child's safety seriously.

This but also vents can be covering machinery and/or electrics so not particularly safe to be working on with a small children right there.

Is this what they call "Gentle Parenting'?

So he "kept" maneuvering her while you did F all? Jeeze the attitude and entitlement these days just blows my mind!

I think its what's known as a "my child-centred approach". Child wishes to do X and parent feels whole world must shape itself around that wish and is shocked and outraged if not everyone concurs. Its not new but does seem to be more common.

I well remember the spluttering indignation of one mum when I refused to allow (and physically blocked) her child from mugging mine for his spade that he was playing with on the beach. Her Timmy wanted to use it and that what was important. It was like the world were props in the latest episode of Timmy's Amazing Childhood.

I agree with other posters we need more context, however I would not put my hands on a strange childs shoulders and manoeuvre them back to their parent and I’m a woman. He either has balls of brass or is thick as mince to do that in this day and age.

I wanted to do regular tannoy announcements reminding parents to keep an eye on their children but I was told no because it would be discriminatory

They used to make announcements in the diy superstore near here warning customers about the motorised trucks and trolleys that operated around the store and to take care around the stock. They sold timber and fencing, as well as heavy tools and diy/gardening materials which could cause injury if messed with.

Not even if they were in danger? If he was working on something that had a vent covering it then there were electrical and moving mechanical parts behind such as a fan. Would you be happy to watch a toddler electrocute themselves or watch their hand be severed?

Personally I'm surprised he didn't say anything but maybe the mother had her headphones on so strange, random men didn't speak to her (if this actually ever happened).

How awful of him, he should have let your child fall into an open vent whilst you went about your business.

however I would not put my hands on a strange childs shoulders and manoeuvre them back to their parent and I’m a woman. He either has balls of brass or is thick as mince to do that in this day and age.

So if a toddler had got away from its parent and was running towards the road, you'd stand there and watch it go past you rather than physically prevent it from running into the road? (I did have to do that once - child had run away from mother and gran on downward slope of the station approach and was heading for the road at the bottom.)

Or sick to the back teeth of trying to get the OP to control her child?

Not sure what context is required. Regardless of why he didn’t want her there (safety or she was in the way) he kept having to return the child and, instead of being supervised, the the child kept wandering back.

Whether the child was in danger or just in his way, it should only have had to happen once at most.

OP’s probably not going to be back.

The fact you’ve said ‘kept’ would suggest she was being a nuisance and he was trying to work and keep her safe whilst you fannied about ordering a cake.
No doubt you let her wander about restaurants and cafes, little Felicity must get what she wants!

Control your child.