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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think male posters get a hard time on MN?

117 replies

Fancycrab · 19/03/2026 10:31

Just an observation. Whenever there’s a comment on a thread or a thread started by a man it seems to be viewed with suspicion or the poster gets a hard time/is always disagreed with etc. It seems some MNers are pretty hostile towards men on the site. Made me wonder, what do you think of men who post on here?

OP posts:
Octavia64 · 19/03/2026 10:33

For most stuff it’s not possible to tell if it’s a man.

the usernames don’t say - and even if the username were manhere then it might not be true.

so no way to tell

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 19/03/2026 10:33

I think posters are generally hostile to most people who post to be fair!!

Fancycrab · 19/03/2026 10:35

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 19/03/2026 10:33

I think posters are generally hostile to most people who post to be fair!!

Ha yeah this is true!

OP posts:
Fancycrab · 19/03/2026 10:36

Octavia64 · 19/03/2026 10:33

For most stuff it’s not possible to tell if it’s a man.

the usernames don’t say - and even if the username were manhere then it might not be true.

so no way to tell

But I mean when he “admits” he’s a man lol. Or if it’s obvious from the post or comment

OP posts:
InLoveWithAI · 19/03/2026 10:38

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 19/03/2026 10:33

I think posters are generally hostile to most people who post to be fair!!

Yeah I was going to say the same.

And sorry, but I really can't get up in arms about men being called out on stuff, even if egregious.

Madarch · 19/03/2026 10:41

There have been plenty of threads where blokes have been judged NBU.

I had actually thought it refreshing that lots of men who come looking for support and advice got what they were looking for.

toomuchfaff · 19/03/2026 10:44

YANBU

Even adding comments; if you suggest OP holds a hard line that could remotely be construed as masculine energy you're accused of being a man and blasted for the comment.

No use engaging with people like that.

Madarch · 19/03/2026 10:44

There do seem to be lots of "why won't my wife have sex with me?" threads though posted by men.

ThatsRoughBuddy · 19/03/2026 10:48

If they get a hard time hopefully it chases them off. Unlikely though.

I don’t care if MN is for parents and not just mums, I don’t want them here. They have the whole fucking internet so leave us one bloody website free of them.

RoyalPenguin · 19/03/2026 10:49

The rest of the internet is SO misogynistic that I can't feel too much sympathy about this.

EggplantSurprise · 19/03/2026 10:51

But any of us could be men, or 'admit' to being men. We're all anonymous strangers on a huge internet forum. I've literally just namechanged, as I do regularly, so I could be a fifteen year old boy ogling the sex topic or posting about bullying, or a lonely, retired postman who doesn't get out much and likes posting about TV or the Labour Party.

Workingmum1313 · 19/03/2026 10:53

I don't know, I think there's a lot of very, very hurt people on this.Website, but if you go to male forums, it's the same kind of environment where you get kind of a mixed bag of people that's had extreme situations.And because of their own personal situations they just cannot.They cannot be impartial or reasonable.I actually don't find mum's net.Overly hostile to men I find because there are women on her that have sons and you can read the post and see how hard they strive for them all the care.They give to their fathers.I think what happens on her more is that there's hostility to boyfriends and husbands, which makes sense.This is mum's net

ChamonixMountainBum · 19/03/2026 10:55

I am man. Most of the time my sex has very little bearing on the topics to hand. Very occasionally, if it is relevant, I will mention it. I lurk on the feminist boards mostly because I like to be on top of the latest news in the trans debates and being informed has a relevance to my role as coach and manager of a sports club (got pulled into the whole fairness in sports, mixed changing rooms debate). I cringe sometimes at the 'as a man' type of intros on threads or the creepy weirdos offering their detailed views on the sex threads. For the most part I have not had a hard time, the only time there has been clashes are when my view is the polar opposite of someone else's. There is, I believe, a bias, but that is unsurprisingly when the site is 90% women.

tequilam0ckingbird · 19/03/2026 11:00

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 19/03/2026 10:33

I think posters are generally hostile to most people who post to be fair!!

this is true... men or women, MN doesn't discriminate!

ThatCyanCat · 19/03/2026 11:02

I was having a discussion like this yesterday.

It's a forum of mostly women and it's going to reflect that and centre women's interests. No, it's not the Old Bailey, it's not a place of perfect blind justice, it was never intended to be and only a fool would expect it to be. It's literally only because it's mostly women that people complain about that. Only women are expected to be absolutely morally perfect and unbiased even in female oriented spaces...and frankly, a lot of people who complain about this don't actually want an unbiased space, they just want another male-centred one.

Like PPs said, there is so much misogyny in the real world and the rest of the internet that I really can't get worked up over this place being led by women's interests, and I side eye people who do. I do agree a lot of posters are too quick to shout LTB, but I haven't seen any evidence of a mass exodus of women from happy, stable, healthy marriages because the husband coughed the wrong way or whatever; women are far, far more likely to stay in miserable or even abusive marriages, so I'm not overly concerned about that either. I do think the toxic misogyny of the manosphere is spilling over into real life, though.

The problem isn't male posters, I've no issue with them being here. I just dislike the ones who are here because they know it's mostly women and want to complain about it reflecting that, as if it's got some sort of chokehold on the real world or, of course, the manosphere, ir it's some kind of personal injustice against them. And who then, having come here to chaperone and correct women, claim that they're the victims of sexism. Also can't stand the MRAs who call themselves MirabelLadyGirl or whatever, though I think there aren't as many of those these days, thank Bog.

Besides, as many people point out, it's full of women arguing with and being horrid to each other, and OW get pilloried way, way more than philandering MM, so I don't think it's a hive of female supremacy anyway.

Luckyingame · 19/03/2026 11:04

ChamonixMountainBum · 19/03/2026 10:55

I am man. Most of the time my sex has very little bearing on the topics to hand. Very occasionally, if it is relevant, I will mention it. I lurk on the feminist boards mostly because I like to be on top of the latest news in the trans debates and being informed has a relevance to my role as coach and manager of a sports club (got pulled into the whole fairness in sports, mixed changing rooms debate). I cringe sometimes at the 'as a man' type of intros on threads or the creepy weirdos offering their detailed views on the sex threads. For the most part I have not had a hard time, the only time there has been clashes are when my view is the polar opposite of someone else's. There is, I believe, a bias, but that is unsurprisingly when the site is 90% women.

Sometimes I lurk on Incel boards.
(Long term happily married, middle aged woman).
I tell you, I'm glad I'm not young and "dating" anymore.
No, I don't think men get hard time on here.

SilenceInside · 19/03/2026 11:05

In relation to the entire rest of the internet, no, men do not get a particularly hard time on this one website.

CousinBette · 19/03/2026 11:07

ThatsRoughBuddy · 19/03/2026 10:48

If they get a hard time hopefully it chases them off. Unlikely though.

I don’t care if MN is for parents and not just mums, I don’t want them here. They have the whole fucking internet so leave us one bloody website free of them.

This

Men often expect women they’re not even related to to provide emotional support and this site attracts that type of man. I’m not doing any more work for them.

Plus they invariably write stupidly overlong first posts.

ChamonixMountainBum · 19/03/2026 11:10

Luckyingame · 19/03/2026 11:04

Sometimes I lurk on Incel boards.
(Long term happily married, middle aged woman).
I tell you, I'm glad I'm not young and "dating" anymore.
No, I don't think men get hard time on here.

Which Incel boards are these? Im not on ticktok or Instagram so kind of not tuned into the stuff Louis Therouix was documenting!

ThatCyanCat · 19/03/2026 11:12

As a comparison, I once spent a fair amount of time on a now-defunct male oriented forum.

On here, I have been called a cunt, a moron, an idiot, a terrible terrible person, a fucking weirdo and one person once said she couldn't believe I had children because I was so awful. (Topics were things like boudoir photography, reclining seats on aeroplanes and gardening, if you're wondering.) Very nice.

But on the male forum I was called similar and worse, threatened with rape and death on more than one occasion and one man tried to locate me in real life. They also seemed to think that the absolute worst thing they could call me was fat and sexually unattractive to men.

They weren't all like that, of course, in fact I am now real life friends with a couple of them, and most of them were decent. But if I'm going to compare the worst with the worst of each, then I know where things bottomed out.

Luckyingame · 19/03/2026 11:12

ChamonixMountainBum · 19/03/2026 11:10

Which Incel boards are these? Im not on ticktok or Instagram so kind of not tuned into the stuff Louis Therouix was documenting!

Quite a lot of them on YouTube, of course they aren't called Incel Boards, but that's pretty much what they are.
Very difficult world we live in, both men and women seem to be full of hatred and being "hard done by" over past years.

TwistedWonder · 19/03/2026 11:17

It depends. There are some lovely men on here who post constructively.
However the ‘man here’ ones who announce themselves as such before launching into an explanation of why their opinion is so important deserve the eye rolling.

And there are at least 2 regular male posters than I’m aware of whose comments literally drip with misogyny. 1 in particular is constantly on the relationship boards lecturing women on why they shouldn’t hade any standards or boundaries.

NedsAtomicWheelieBin · 19/03/2026 11:30

Madarch · 19/03/2026 10:44

There do seem to be lots of "why won't my wife have sex with me?" threads though posted by men.

After starting off saying what a great husband and father they are and how they do their fair share of the chores.

NewGoldFox · 19/03/2026 11:31

I don’t like it. I come on here to discuss with other women - the clue is in the name!

mumofoneAloneandwell · 19/03/2026 11:31

Yabu, they're fine