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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Man walking around outside nursery each morning

226 replies

SMLSML · 18/03/2026 08:28

Not sure if I'm over thinking... For the last 3 months or so, every morning without fail when I drop my daughter at nursery there is a man who is walking past it, then when I come out he's doing a loop the other way back past again. The nursery is on a business park so he could just be walking to work or getting his steps in but I do find it that he seems to do constant loops at exactly the same time every morning. I've stayed and watched from the car this morning and this is his fourth loop around the nursery building again... He doesn't appear to have a uniform or lanyard of any of the businesses on the estate... Am I thinking too badly given everything in the news at the moment 🙃 would you mention it to the nursery?

OP posts:
LeedsLoiner · 19/03/2026 13:12

AquaFurball · 18/03/2026 19:33

A "vibe" no doubt developed from obsessively watching him for three months.

"Hello police, this might be nothing but i think you should be aware, I work on an industrial estate and every morning before I go to work I have a walk around the estate to keep fit and I've noticed for the last three months there's this woman in a car acting suspiciously.
Long after the children have gone in she sits outside and watches the road. There are lots of businesses on the estate and I wonder of she is casing them to see if there's a way to break in.
She seems to get very flustered every time she sees anyone on the pavement. Her registration is ACB123D"...

Glitterblue · 19/03/2026 13:20

It’s probably something as innocent as he works nearby but arrives early and spends some time getting his steps in but doesn’t want to go too far from work.

If you feel really uncomfortable, you could mention it to the nursery manager but the children won’t ever be unattended and I’m sure will be well protected with locked doors, passwords etc.

SleeplessInWherever · 19/03/2026 13:28

LeedsLoiner · 19/03/2026 13:12

"Hello police, this might be nothing but i think you should be aware, I work on an industrial estate and every morning before I go to work I have a walk around the estate to keep fit and I've noticed for the last three months there's this woman in a car acting suspiciously.
Long after the children have gone in she sits outside and watches the road. There are lots of businesses on the estate and I wonder of she is casing them to see if there's a way to break in.
She seems to get very flustered every time she sees anyone on the pavement. Her registration is ACB123D"...

He probably thinks he’s picked up a very specific stalker 😂😂

snoopyfanaccountant · 19/03/2026 13:54

My mum has had both her knees replaced. As part of the recovery process she was told to go for a walk every day. She goes out at the same time and follows the same route every day.
It is probably something perfectly innocent like that with this man, possibly he is being dropped off at work too early and is killing time until he is due to start.

Sevenwondersofthewoo · 19/03/2026 14:06

user1476613140 · 18/03/2026 12:24

I have also come across at least two situations where the vibe felt "off" too, so I know what you mean. You had to be there to understand. Hard to convey in words, that's why many posters are trying to ridicule you. I completely get what you mean though. Always trust your instinct it never lets you down.

If that’s the case she should of let the nursery know within a week or two not bloody 3 months

NovemberMorn · 19/03/2026 18:21

WorstPaceScenario · 19/03/2026 12:20

Nice dig there about how not reporting a man walking along the street, doing absolutely nothing out of the ordinary other than walking in loops, to the police constitutes "simply not caring" as a mother. As a mother, I'd personally prefer my law abiding and generally decent son wasn't suspected to be a paedophile or kidnapper for taking a morning walk, but there we go.

It's not a dig, I was replying to another poster ... you have taken my post out of context.

NovemberMorn · 19/03/2026 18:25

BauhausOfEliott · 19/03/2026 12:39

Oh, I think a mother's instinct is very strong when it comes to their kids, some may ignore or simply not care enough to act on it, but it's there.

LOL. What bollocks.

What an absolutely brilliant, intelligent response....well done you.

fearningle · 21/03/2026 11:27

Callmeback · 18/03/2026 18:56

I regularly walk around my local industrial estate. But I'm a woman so that's fine right?

Is there a nursery there? If not then your walk is irrelevant.

If there is a nursery, then is your route centred disproportionately on that nursery in a way that seems unusual to people familiar with that area? If not, then again your walk is irrelevant.

If there is a nursery, and your route is centred on it in a way that seems disproportionate and unusual to people familiar with that area, then however innocent you are you might now be seen as an adult behaving oddly near a nursery.

Still statistically highly likely to be innocent and harmless, and much much much more likely to be harmless because you're female, but some people might still choose to draw the attention of nursery staff to your behaviour (women can sometimes have strange obsessions with children too).

It's not black and white. The key point is that, with everything to do with precautions around children, we don't actually have to first rule out every single possible innocent explanation for behaviour that seems odd or out of place, before mentioning it to someone else. If the behaviour seems odd and unusual, and is something actual predators do, then that should be enough to make it worth noting.

If my dh or ds were in that position, just walking round and round innocently while a child settles, for instance, and another parent drew the attention of nursery staff to that behaviour because they thought it was suspicious and didn't recognise another parent, I wouldn't see that as a terrible outcome at all. I'd see it as informal social systems that protect children doing their job. I'd see it as a reassuring sign that an actual predator doing that one day might be noticed.

Justaspy · 21/03/2026 19:17

He's obviously casing the joint so I'd phone MI6 or MI7.

Bubbles332 · 21/03/2026 20:15

You can report it to the nursery. My local authority has a bulletin they send round to all the safeguarding leads with info on people hanging around and doing weird things outside schools/nurseries. Nothing will happen to him if he’s just a normal man out for a walk and he won’t find out, but it’s good to make people aware.

Grendel7 · 21/03/2026 20:21

WhatAPavalova · 18/03/2026 08:48

I can see no concerns about seeing a man walking in loops.

Yes but this is a business park not residential! He must have driven there so no I think its very suspicious.

WhatAPavalova · 21/03/2026 20:32

Grendel7 · 21/03/2026 20:21

Yes but this is a business park not residential! He must have driven there so no I think its very suspicious.

Maybe it is flatter ground? Maybe on his way to work? Wouldn’t it be more odd to drive to a residential area and do loops?

I still don’t think it’s odd or suspect, it’s a bit of boring exercise.

Nicknacky · 21/03/2026 20:35

Grendel7 · 21/03/2026 20:21

Yes but this is a business park not residential! He must have driven there so no I think its very suspicious.

I know of business parks in my area that are near residential areas so no, that doesn’t make it “very suspicious”

mumof1or2 · 21/03/2026 20:38

binnibonnieboo · 18/03/2026 08:45

Given that it is a nursery and the children will never be unaccompanied this seems nothing to worry about.

You’d think you could take this for granted, but clearly not always

'Abuse happened in plain sight': Families demand answers over 'monster' nursery rapist https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c33j0g5y62ko

Close up of Bennett's face, he is wearing glasses and has brown hair. He is also wearing a t-shirt with plant patterns on.

'Abuse happened in plain sight': Families demand answers over 'monster' nursery rapist

Nathan Bennett's abuse of two and three-year-old boys was described as "every parent's nightmare".

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c33j0g5y62ko

Trillie · 21/03/2026 20:38

It’s presumably a public footpath and you’ve got absolutely no right to tell someone they can’t walk on it. Unless he’s doing something like standing around watching the kids or taking photos I’m not sure what the problem is. If you approached me you’d get a very robust answer.

SleeplessInWherever · 21/03/2026 20:40

mumof1or2 · 21/03/2026 20:38

You’d think you could take this for granted, but clearly not always

'Abuse happened in plain sight': Families demand answers over 'monster' nursery rapist https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c33j0g5y62ko

The man walking the streets isn’t a nursery worker?

PilatesAndLattes · 21/03/2026 20:47

YANBU and we had the same but an old man driving by slowly every school drop off and pickup smiling out of his window. Sounds deliberate and if it feels off it probably is.

Nicknacky · 21/03/2026 20:47

mumof1or2 · 21/03/2026 20:38

You’d think you could take this for granted, but clearly not always

'Abuse happened in plain sight': Families demand answers over 'monster' nursery rapist https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c33j0g5y62ko

I didnt realise he was walking outside! I thought he worked in the nursery

N22 · 21/03/2026 23:05

Raise your concern with the police. They can drop by and have a word with the man. If he's just a citizen taking regular exercise then there's no harm done. If he has a record for impropriety towards children then he'll be advised to change his route. There's a reason you feel uncomfortable - trust your instinct.

Nicknacky · 21/03/2026 23:12

N22 · 21/03/2026 23:05

Raise your concern with the police. They can drop by and have a word with the man. If he's just a citizen taking regular exercise then there's no harm done. If he has a record for impropriety towards children then he'll be advised to change his route. There's a reason you feel uncomfortable - trust your instinct.

You really think the police are going to do that? I guarantee they aren’t

N22 · 22/03/2026 00:13

I really think we have a moral duty to try to protect our children. Contacting the community officer responsible for that area and raising a safeguarding concern is likely the most effective way of proceeding. Not doing anything guarantees that nothing changes.

Pinkissmart · 22/03/2026 00:29

Jesus. My morning walk takes me past a preschool. I walk the same time every day because I need to go to work after.

SugarPuffSandwiches · 22/03/2026 01:11

N22 · 22/03/2026 00:13

I really think we have a moral duty to try to protect our children. Contacting the community officer responsible for that area and raising a safeguarding concern is likely the most effective way of proceeding. Not doing anything guarantees that nothing changes.

What's he actually doing wrong though? You can't report someone for walking past a nursery more than once. I mean, you can, but you'd look a bit bonkers.

SugarPuffSandwiches · 22/03/2026 01:15

SleeplessInWherever · 21/03/2026 20:40

The man walking the streets isn’t a nursery worker?

Agree, how is this the same?
Someone walking past a nursery isn't ever going to be on a one to one contact with children from there. Seeing as parents drop them off, pick them up and during the day the kids are in nurseries behind locked and coded doors with no access to the public.

Ennjaytee · 22/03/2026 04:37

No harm comes from mentioning it to the nursery. It's much better to be safe than sorry especially with so many brazen kidnappings happening lately. Mention it to the head mistress or someone equally caring! You can help save someone if he is dodgy and remind others to be safe even if he's not being shifty.