AIBU to dread DH working from home with a toddler underfoot?

[headacheandtired]

DH normally works in the office Tuesdays - Thursdays, or is visiting clients. He’s out of the house, anyway!

However, he’s torn a muscle and it’s been recommended he tries to avoid driving for a period of time, so he’s negotiated working from home during this period.

It’s so difficult. I’m dreading today and tomorrow a bit as we have a two year old and obviously she doesn’t really understand that daddy is working so can’t play in the garden with her etc so keeps trying to get to him and then getting upset and having a tantrum when she can’t. It’s pretty miserable to be honest. I’m just praying that he’s back in the office when the Easter holidays begin!

Does she have to see him? Surely he works with the door shut and she just assumes he’s out at work like normal?

She can hear him! It isn’t that he’s excessively loud, it’s just you can …

My DH worked from home full time from when my eldest was born until my youngest was 5, so at one point I had 3 under 5 at home almost all of the time.
They soon get used to it. Just keep saying ‘daddy is working, he can play with you when he’s finished’.

Are you in the house all day ever with her? No going a walk, play park, groups, shops etc?
I’d go bonkers stuck in the house all day with my 2 yo and they’d be climbing the walls!

Can you go out for the day / most of the day?

A man daft enough to post this about his wife would be torn to shreds, and rightly so.

I think they just adapt. We’ve both worked from home (different shift patterns) with both kids from babyhood and it’s never been a real issue.

Just tell him to be quieter and make sure the doors shut.
DH works from home a bit and I’m here with our 2 preschoolers, it’s not really an issue.
He’s here for longer in the morning, then goes upstairs when he “goes to work” and then they see him later. Often the 2 y old will be asleep during lunch and 4 year old understands he’s working at home so is here to eat lunch with her and have a short play but then he goes back to work.

I think you might be overthinking it.

I think you’ll be fine. Just be firm and keep repeating.

She's 2, it's a few weeks, look at play areas, softplays, local playgroups, kids museums. Swimming pool, make it a get out and do stuff period. When my husband wfh it was only an issue in COVID because we couldn't just go do stuff. Other than that we did playgroup in the morning. Home for lunch, softplay in the afternoon, home for snack. Library or dog walk before dinner. Day done.

Can't you go out. Would you normally stay in all day. Can you swap nursery days, swap your work days

I’m not planning on staying in all day with her but equally it’s difficult to be out all day as well.

Well not ALL day of course, you could do up breakfast as normal.. 10am.. out to park/walk,..
12pm home; lunch, nap
3pm… out to library/soft play etc.

its only a few weeks!

Ah @Velumental said it better!

She doesn’t nap now as a rule so that does make the day longer.

You just have to manage it the best you can. If he is on the phone/Teams a lot she is going to hear him. Have you got decent separation i.e. him upstairs and you downstairs? Keep the radio on where you are and watch more TV than usual to muffle the sound.All have lunch together so she can see him and play for a while, then when he goes back to work, you head out to distract her. These things are just part and parcel of parenting.

Two year olds are a pain in the arse at the best of times, so I get it.

The obvious starting point is to make sure you have background noise on all day to drown him out. Radio or something else aural if you don't want screens.

Argh that’s brought back some awful memories. At home with a 5 year old, 3 year old and 1 year old, DH working from home and absolutely nowhere for us to go except our 1 permitted walk a day.

Get her out of the house a lot.

My DH works from home on a Friday so I know what you mean, it feels like every time he coughs the two year olds remembers he's there and wants to play. He can open the doors so we've got a toddler door lock from Amazon (just sticks to the handle kind of thing) so he can't go busting in in the middle of client calls. DH works downstairs so I try and play with DS upstairs in his room or in the garden, obviously I try to schedule trips out - we do the grocery shop on Friday, usually go to the park, it try to arrange to go to a friend's house. It's not easy but it's lovely to have lunch all together and have DH home and ready to play as soon as work is done :)

We printed out a stop sign when that was on the door - it meant no entry.

I know she is 2 but 2 years should know and accept that No means No.

My husband worked from home during my daughter’s entire childhood and it was never an issue. She knew from a very early age that she didn’t go into his office when the door was closed because he was working. I didn’t take my daughter out every day and we spent huge amounts of each day playing with her toys, drawing, baking etc and it was never an issue.

Get her out of the house a lot.

Genuinely, why? I can’t force her to sleep.

It probably is a bit different if it’s every day. It’s not the ‘norm’ here so she doesn’t really understand.