To think this was unfair, and to take time off for mental health.

[Dawnchorus1]

I work in the civil service, and after returning from mat leave was given the choice of returning to my current job full time or taking a demotion if I wanted to do 3 or 4 days.

I took the demotion. This was nearly 5 years ago. I've contributed fully and enthusiastically in my role and been successful in working on big projects and having my ideas taken forward consistently (we work in an environment where most projects have a few people creating initial ideas which the clients then chose from). This despite being managed by 'replacement', being a single parent to my son, having little family support and having lost my mum suddenly last year, and have been working very hard at keeping my shit together.

We've gone through a restructure recently which has been horrendous for most involved and taken it's toll (multiple applications to apply for our own jobs etc). I kept my job luckily. Then a position opened up for my previous role. My son being at school now I thought it would be a good time to get my career back on track - up my hours and resume previous role.

So put in application. Got interview. Knew others were going for it, but being the one who had actually done the job before thought I had more than a good chance of getting it.

Invites for interview were sent out on the Friday - which is non working day for me so I didn't see it until the Monday morning, meaning I Iost a weekend of prep time. Interviews scheduled for the following Monday, so only a week's notice for me. We had to prepare a presentation for the interview (with no time scheduled during work to do so). This also happened to be the week of my mum's 1 year anniversary of her sudden death, and the week in which we buried her ashes. I see a therapist and the week before this she said she thought I was depressed - because I said I was struggling to get out of bed and do basic things like the washing up and laundry.

I worked hard to prepare a presentation. Long story short I didn't get the job - despite being told I had done a really good presentation. Because I 'didn't have enough examples on the behaviour and strength questions'. Despite having worked with these people closely for 5-10 years. They know I can solve a problem, they've seen me do it every week. Yes I could have had better answers. But last week was the worst week for me to have to prepare for this. I put the time and effort I had in me getting my presentation in good shape.

I'm absolutely devastated. I feel like crap and need advice about what to do next. Think I'll need to take some time off for mental health reasons, how do I go about this? I feel so angry. I'm not sure if they were allowed to do what they did with demoting me when returning from mat leave.

Someone who better prepared for the interview will also be better prepared to do the job.

I understand you're disappointment but you really need to get over it and quickly. You don't have an automatic right to a job you did before just because you did it before.

Also you have no idea as to what circumstances other people had preparing for interview , what their private personal difficulties may have been.

It's hugely disappointing, I've been there. But no one has done anything wrong. You just weren't the best on the day. It happens to everyone sometimes

Civil service interviews are based solely on how you interview. The whole panel may know that you have done fantastic work in real life but if you don’t evidence it or someone evidences it more comprehensively than you in interview then you won’t be appointed.

If the process was presentation and interview, the 6 questions mattered. If you were really comfortable with the job, having done it previously, you should have been able to give really strong answers. Someone either put more effort in than you, or they had more relevant examples.

I've found, when interviewing in teaching, that candidates who felt they had 'got the job' and that the interview was a formality didn't put much effort into their answers. That just gives the outsider an opportunity to shine.

In a public sector role, they have to be absolutely transparent in the recruitment process. If you didn't score highly enough in the questions, even if they wanted you, what could they do?

I'm really sorry you're having a tough time, but your argument that it made you underperform and put you at a disadvantage won't get you anywhere because you would be taking that tough time underperformance into your new job.

My advice would be that if you need time off for mental health, try to push through for a few weeks so that it isn't so obvious that you're responding to this disappointment. It won't look good and the reality is that you're saying that if you'd been given the job you wouldn't feel the need to go off sick, so I'd reflect on that.

I'm sorry for your loss @Dawnchorus1. My mum died very quickly from pancreatic cancer in late '24. I only went back to work this February.

Unfortunately, if you take time off for mental ill health now you'd just be confirming that the panel made the right call I'm afraid.

I was signed off because of the stress of being bullied at work and there's no way I could have upped my hours or responsibility. I simply couldn't work, regardless of whatever strangers thought about it. I did win my case and got paid off btw.

If you've interviewed you know it has to be a fair and consistent assessment. I'm sorry you're having a bad time and going through a lot but if someone challenges my decision about hiring I have to be able to justify it based on applying the same process to each applicant. I can't follow my heart and risk ending up on the losing side of a tribunal. It's not fun for the interview panel either and it's very unfair to blame them when you know you didn't demonstrate at interview what they needed to appoint you

That's just unfortunate, not discrimination.

This is where you seem petty. Yes it is frustrating to miss out on a job you feel you can do, but sulking about it won't help.
You know interviews are what matters. How else can they be objective if they say it's ok Dawnchorus1 did a bad interview but can do the job as they did it 5 years ago? If one of the other candidates questioned it or there was a review of the interview process then it would immediately be picked up on.
You didn't check your emails despite knowing you had applied for a job. What would your excuse be if you had seen? You also don't know what others are going through - you have a lot on your plate, so might the other candidates. Even if they had seen the email they still might not have been able to prepare over the weekend.

You need to accept it is what it is and carry on with doing the role you currently do.

I get it. It can feel humiliating- on top of everything else you are going through.

You have to style it out in the office. If it was me and someone asked, I would say- I'm gutted I didn't prep as well as I should have for the interview- but onwards and upwards. I wouldn't cut down the person who got the role (bad form....)- or get drawn into gossip about others.

Give yourself some time to be disappointed and angry/upset with yourself for not adequately preparing, then let it go. No point beating yourself up, it's time to look at how to move forwards - once you're calmer, think about where you want to be and what you can do to help you achieve it. Apply to other departments - assuming you're in tech, there are loads of opportunities out there at different grades.

You can do this OP 💪

This is the problem -

you understandably feel crap about not getting the job -
you understand the matrix scoring system
you know you didn’t prep sufficiently-

its OK to feel crap -

framing it as needing time off for your mental health sounds like throwing toys out of the pram / sulking -

the other issues you are experiencing like bereavement are different - and it’s ok to lump all these adverse feelings together - and say actually I’m struggling here -

but the initial OP question and the bizarre defensive / lack of insight around the not getting the job is why posters have not been supportive of your overall feelings in this - I think

.

If I'm honest, your attitude annoys me. Other people also have many different things going on in their lives. Just because they're not broadcasting them or asking for accommodations and reduced standards doesn't mean they don't suffer the same as you do. Society stops working at some point if we all decide that our circumstances should dictate outcomes.

You didn't prepare for the interview. A week is more than enough to prepare, you chose not to prepare STAR answers in spite of knowing exactly how the scoring works.

Why would a job go to a candidate who didn't even bother to prepare properly for the interview? Would you have given someone the job when you interviewed them that came in so obviously unprepared?

I think it's understandable you're upset about not getting the job, but that you aren't being reasonable.

It doesn't sound like you were forced to take the demotion, you could have returned to your old role, it was an offer made to accommodate your flexible working request, which is perfectly legal. And surely you don't really think you should have been somehow guaranteed the job regardless of interview performance? That would be really unfair!

We've all had interviews that didn't go as well as we'd hoped. It doesn't feel very nice, but it happens! Get some feedback from the interviewer so you can improve in future and keep an eye out for other jobs that might suit.

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time, and the loss of your Mum. The anniversaries can be so difficult. It doesn't sound like they've done anything wrong, but it makes sense you feel disappointed to have not got the role. Maybe you could look for a new job elsewhere? I think going off sick wouldn't look the best but if you really feel you can't work then I guess you have to.

This.

Kindly, this isn’t the right time for you to get a promotion, even if you know you can do the job. Other opportunities will come along when your headspace is better. Don’t fret about career progression when you’re also grieving.

I’ve sat on enough interview panels and done enough interviews as a candidate to know how it works. The OP despite being in the CS for years forgot to use STAR - clearly that will result in far less points that someone who followed the format. As a panel member of course you can help someone get back on track but if they resolutely fail to use STAR they make it very difficult to compare them to other candidates. I loathe this - but if you want to stay in the CS you have to play the game in interviews and applications.

Kindly Op, you are conflating a difficult time and ongoing anxiety around several things (which you refer to in your OP a subsequent posts). This isn’t just about the interview or the STAR questions. You’ve gone through a tough time, and the circumstances for this role just didn’t align for you.

I think a few days off (or a few days of working to the minimum) might do you good then you can consider your next steps carefully and rationalise the bigger questions…

Whilst waiting for SEND diagnosis, do you actually want the additional pressures of a full-time, more senior role, or does extra headspace for the next few years suit you?
Would you have increased your hours in the same role? Is the extra income post tax worth it for career progression?
What do external opportunities look like? better pay, or wfh, or training allowances etc - what features suit you better?

If this was the private sector, they would have all lost their jobs years ago.

It's another world, where going off sick because you didn't get a job is a viable option.

Do people actually claim poor mental health over disappointment? Is that not just a normal part of the human condition? As someone who has been scheduled under the mental health act and been profoundly unwell this just makes me shake my head. This is not a mental health condition. i'll say that again - this is not a mental health condition. It's like calling constipation cancer.

When it’s fully paid they do!

Reading between the lines, it feels like you are working in one of those civil service departments where management are not giving enough thought to wellbeing. The demotion approach has been very much not how things are done these days for a long time now in public service. Likewise the restructuring ploy used as a way to cull staff.

That said, I would try and hold things together. If you take a little time out on sick leave it may help. Play this cautiously.

If you are finding it hard to cope now with what is going on in your life I don't think this is the right time to increase your hours and take on a more demanding role. If you aren't sleeping and feeling generally run down then take some time off sick. And as someone else suggested maybe look outside the civil service as their recruitment procedure seems a little bizarre.