To ask you to help with a cover story for my Jewish child

[Aislyn]

My eldest is at secondary school and has suffered horrific racist bullying due to being identifiably Jewish. She never told anyone, but they guessed due to her appearance, and her saying Eastern European countries when asked 'where are you from?'

Unfortunately the school has been completely unhelpful, and refused to tackle this.

My second child is starting at second and has sen. They are at even higher risk of bullying. They have an appearance that would mean that they could be identified as Jewish, especially when citing Eastern European countries in response to the above question. Can anyone think of a cover story for my child?

(Yes, I have tried to get them a place at a Jewish school, but there is none available)

Op seriously lots of people including me haven't a clue.

Its not until your description of sallow skin, curly hair, has it occurred to me the young lady I know with Bosnian heritage may well be Jewish.

Does it matter? No not to me.

What is this "left wing media"?

Most UK newspapers - including all the most widely read - are very right wing. The Guardian is liberal.

Social media is full of horrifically right wing bile.

Nowhere have I ever encountered people who associate Poland and being Jewish

You do realise that Poland is where many of the Nazi death camps were located, don't you? Do you not see what they might be saying by making the association?

https://www.latimes.com/opinion/story/2024-05-06/poland-pro-palestinian-anti-zionist-protests-treblinka

I disagree with the suggestion that your child moves school is victim blaming in any way. None of this is your fault, but the priority here surely has to be the mental and emotional wellbeing of your child. I don’t understand why you would keep your child in this particular school where she is suffering such extreme bullying and antisemitism from the staff and students. Trying to find a cover story about your ethnic background won’t help as the bullies will just continue with their campaign of hatred.

In case there’s any doubt, I completely agree that this school is doing a really terrible job here. It’s obviously a generally crappy place which needs to be completely avoided by anyone Jewish. Not going to school at all would be better than this for your child (and I’m a retired teacher!)

I understand the fear, but I worry about the long-term impact of hiding who we are. Children need exposure to all kinds of people to form their own frame of reference, rather than relying on social media or harmful historical tropes.

My youngest openly talks about celebrating both Hanukkah and Christmas. I believe it’s vital for her peers to see that she is just like them. If she ever encounters hate, those around her then have the opportunity to challenge and question it—that’s how the world actually changes. My eldest is in senior school and is more cautious, which I also respect, as they understand the current climate differently.

I have typically Jewish features and have personally experienced being sworn or spat at walking down the street. While I never want my kids to go through that, being open also teaches them empathy for others who face daily racism. It shows them firsthand how not to treat people.

To answer the specific question: when I travel the Mediterranean, people often assume I’m a local, and I’ve been told I have 'Iraqi eyes.' When a child is asked where they are from, 'my city of birth' should always be a sufficient and honest answer. We shouldn't feel forced to erase our heritage to belong.

I'm sorry for what you and your family are going through. I wouldn't assume your younger child will have the same experiences as your oldest. The majority of people are supportive of others differences, particularly in a SEN setting.

Why keep going at the op like this. It’s clearly a thread about her dc

I think there has been a move to try to delegitimise Jews living in Israel by claiming 'Israelis are just white European colonisers oppressing brown people' and should just 'go back to Europe'. And while I am highly critical of Israel myself, I draw the line at this because, whatever the wrongs, Israel is there now and what the government does or has done is not the fault of every Jew there (just as what Hamas does is not the fault of every Palestinian).

I think this started by a minority on the far Left and I've seen it picked up by some Muslim people; I can imagine kids picking up on it, sadly, and probably with minimal context.

Without a doubt, Israel has many of the issues of colonialism, but also a large chunk of the Jewish population are from African or Middle Eastern countries where it is unquestionably unsafe for them now.

It is clear the above poster wants to derail, and their posting history is very telling about what kind of person they are.

I am not going to respond to any irrelevant comments about Farage or Reform. (This does mean I support them, it simply means they have no relevance to this particular thread)

Thank you for sharing

I am so sorry you're going through this OP and I hope both your children will at some point get a place in a safer school. I would caution away from a cover story, just because there are some people (and it sounds like she has them at her school) who can get like a dog with a bone if they suspect she is Jewish, and she is trying to cover it up and get caught in a lie. I've been in that spot as an adult, and it's quite scary. I know you say "london" won't work, but maybe something just like I don't know, where there is no cover story to keep track of type thing.

Their Jewish leader? What, do you think he is going to hypnotise you through the telly or something?

I'm not the person you quoted. But OMG my brain has been blown to bits.

I feel like there has been a huge part of history thats been brushed over. If that makes sense.
To be fair, I've never studied WW2, so my knowledge is general knowledge picked up over time, films, tv documentaries etc.

Obviously I knew of nazi death camps but never thought about the changes that made to Europe or where the Jewish people lived before that.

Op I'm sorry your kids are suffering. I don't get the hate towards Jews. I really don't.

There's no Eastern European country that is majority Jewish though is there. For any given Eastern European country the UK residents from that country will be mostly from christian or atheist families.

My best advice for your child to respond without lying and without outing themself would be to say "oh I don't really feel I'm "from" anywhere because my 8 great grandparents are from like 5 or 6 different countries all over europe so there's no country I feel particularly close to, it's not a big part of my identity"

There is no country other than Israel that you can name that will make people think you are Jewish. That is not a thing. The default assumptions if anyone cares about religion would be eastern orthodox or Catholic for the more eastern countries and potentially protestant/lutheran for countries a bit nearer the middle of Europe -though there are a lot of olive skinned immigrants from the Balkan areas of Europe who are muslim.

But if the fellow students are actually antisemitic they may just ask directly "are you Jewish" automatically no matter what someone responds to "where are you from" so it might be that there is no answer to "where are you from" that will prevent that question being asked. At times of sectarian tension in the UK it certainly became a know thing that if you answered "are you Catholic or Protestant" with "Neither, I am atheist" you would have to nevertheless identify whether you were a Catholic Atheist or a Protestant Atheist becauase the questionner required everyone to pick a side. This may be similar.

In what way?

Nor do 50% of Londoners

I am not saying that any E European country is majority Jewish, but historically there have been significant Jewish minorities, and the connection between E Europe and Jews is well established and known about. This, together with appearance, can signal a child is Jewish. This has happened to my eldest (who tried to be vague by saying 'various E European countries', which was responded to with 'so you are Jewish')

If you have a doubt then feel free to report. It's against the rules to 'troll hunt'

Your DD sounds lovely!

Inviting her non-Jewish friends along sounds a really nice thing to do - both in terms of being a nice friend and including them, and then it also increases knowledge and understanding amongst those kids which they’ll hopefully spread in their turn.

That said, obviously if someone was more private they wouldn’t deserve racism (hope it’s obviously that I mean that!) but your DD’s approach sounds lovely.

For the avoidance of any doubt, I can provide proof to MNHQ on request, regarding what my eldest has experienced. I am a poster with a long history here.

I just say Middle Eastern

Wait. It’s anti-Semitic to believe that it is ‘ridiculous for someone to assume or
comment that you cannot be from London because you don’t look British’?

I’ve heard it all now.

I do not doubt your (or your kids) experience at all. Bigotry, racism, and xenophobia disgust me.
When I said people are ridiculous for assuming you can’t be British due to how you look, I meant those people are ridiculous. I did not mean to imply this did not happen.
I am sorry you are experiencing such abhorrent behaviour, from individuals and from the school.

You seemed to be doubting the OP's actual experience. You've clarified now that you did not mean that - so I withdraw my comment to you.

The BBC and Guardian skew left and are free so have a wider audience