To ask you to help with a cover story for my Jewish child

[Aislyn]

My eldest is at secondary school and has suffered horrific racist bullying due to being identifiably Jewish. She never told anyone, but they guessed due to her appearance, and her saying Eastern European countries when asked 'where are you from?'

Unfortunately the school has been completely unhelpful, and refused to tackle this.

My second child is starting at second and has sen. They are at even higher risk of bullying. They have an appearance that would mean that they could be identified as Jewish, especially when citing Eastern European countries in response to the above question. Can anyone think of a cover story for my child?

(Yes, I have tried to get them a place at a Jewish school, but there is none available)

Oh we can discuss Farage and The Guardian newspaper - just not on this thread. Start another one. The OP herself has stated this is not the thread to do that. Respect her wishes - stop filling it up with irrelevant whataboutery

what do you think of the anti semitism the OP is facing and what should she do to protect her kids against it?

Ah, I see, you can talk about Farage but because I have a different view I can't. Right you are then.
I have given my opinion/suggestions to the OP, earlier in the thread.

Could you contact your local MP for help @Aislyn ? An MP's letter to the school might shake them up.

Yes and I'm sure all the racist bullies in schools now will just naturally grow out of it and end up as delightful as Mr Farage.

To your question, I am not going to presume to tell OP what to do. Not everyone can 'just move'. I think ultimately, she is best placed to navigate the situation, as opposed to asking (mainly) non Jewish randoms on the internet, who have no idea about the school or the area or the specifics. My children are part Iranian - some 'look it' more than others. We are in London and the schools were very diverse, so not an issue. But if they did experience racism, the last place I'd be looking for 'advice' is on here.

I don't really understand why they can't just continue to say 'my family are british'.

My friend has a look that lends people to believe he has heritage from another country, he has that olive skin, dark hair with a curl to it and certain texture, dark eyes. People regularly wonder if he has some Egyptian or middle eastern heritage, or Mediterranean.

He doesn't actually have any interesting heritage at all. So just says, no,my family are British. You seem to think it's not possible for someone to have that colouring and look and nonetheless have British heritage? London is a massive melting pot of people with all sorts of mixed heritage.

I can't help but wonder whether it's not your children's appearance that identifies them as Jewish but something different like perhaps expressing positive views of Israel or something like that?

I think when people report racism or Islamophobia or antisemitism, we need to take it at face value. I am an Asian Muslim but experience zero islamophobia. That’s because I am light brown skinned and people have guessed me to be every nationality from Egyptian, Tunisian, Italian, Spanish and Greek to Asian. I also don’t wear a headscarf and I am liberal and ‘western’ with an English husband. Thus I don’t get put in a box and suffer abuse. But I know full well other Muslims are getting racist abuse. I have wonderful tolerant Muslim women in my family who happen to wear headscarves and they get abused on the bus etc.

In the same way that whilst many Jewish people don’t suffer antisemitism, the OP is reporting that her children do. and I believe her. I live in North London and obviously know lots of Jewish people as I live in the most Jewish consistency in the country. Most of them go to schools in the area and thankfully experience no antisemitism. But some friends’ kids have experienced it at university. Which is terrible of course.

The experience of kids like those of @PurpleThistle7 is hideous and makes me feel sick and furious.

I tend to believe anyone’s experience of prejudice and I think it is insulting to keep questioning them and minimise it.

I am horrified at the lack of action by the OP’s school. But I don’t think making a cover story is the answer. I don’t think it is sustainable and I am not sure the other kids will buy it. I do see the only solution is changing School. It feels like any school would be better than what is going on now. No child should feel under threat. And any teacher who behaves like the ones reported here deserves to be suspended immediately in my view.

The distraction was you cynically using this thread to make generalisations about Muslims.

The OP should continue to engage the services she has engaged, and escalate as necessary.

But you don’t get to cry whataboutery when you were the one who made Islamophobic comments which got you deleted.

You were the one who brought up Palestine and Iran and Israel.

Why are you now shying away from the subject when people hold a mirror to your views and your support for Reform?

Agreed. I think the denial of lived experience of racism here by some posters is rooted itself in racism, as is the attempts to minimise or derail.

There are some posters who have a long history of denying and minimising Anti-Semitism who are posting on this thread. I will not engage so as to not to encourage, but I do wonder why MNHQ has not banned them.

I don't think you should get your children to hide who they are, although I understand why you want to. I think you should switch your energy to absolutely hammering the school for not dealing with this properly. I'm not in the UK so not sure of the steps you can take but you must have the equivalent of a school inspectorate and a discriminations ombudsman. Escalate this as high as you can and if all else fail, sue them.

PurpleThistle is in Scotland, but the situation seems just as bad in London etc ...

I know she is in Scotland?

I think maybe my Jewish friends’ kids have been lucky with their N London schools. These schools have a high proportion of Jewish kids and are hot on cracking down on all prejudice. I am aware this is not the case in all schools of course.

University has been a different matter. When I have visited my son’s university and seen encampments of tents with protesters, it made me feel quite uncomfortable for the Jewish students there.

@Aislyn is just as bad as this poster , the fact she’s more bothered about the greens than reform apparently.

You can see by her responses what this thread is all really about. Even her comments about “not looking British” are suspect.

And agree with pp. growing up in Glasgow there was a large polish community who were all catholic so this immediate association of Poland and Jews doesn’t ring true.

Those saying why would kids associate coming from Poland with being Jewish, well dd is at a mainstream secondary and had history lessons that covered WW2 and the holocaust in years 8 and 9. So even if kids weren’t already aware of the connection before that, they were by age 12-13 through history lessons.

The awful go back to Poland thing is definitely being said amongst some young people and in some schools. Dd has two good friends who identify as Polish, both born in the UK, both sets of parents grew up in Poland then moved to the UK as adults. One girl is very blond and fair skinned with blue eyes, she’s never had any negative comments about being Polish. The other girl has very dark hair and olive skin, and she’s had racist comments about being Jewish and going back to Poland. She’s not actually Jewish, her family aren’t religious.

Dd says there’s a lot of this crap going round on Tiktok, seems the words originally came from pro-Palestine marches and content, and that kids who are pro- Palestine / anti Israel were saying it first, but that it’s now being used by right wing teens who support Reform as well. My dh had a great grandfather who was Jewish and fled Russia as a young man, when he told dd his story recently when talking of family history, we were shocked when she said she wouldn’t tell anyone at school she had a Jewish great great grandfather then, because she’d be targeted by the kids who spout this crap.

It’s all sickening and I’m so sorry your dd has had to deal with this op, I can totally see why you’d want a cover story for your younger daughter. I think I’d go with Greek heritage as well as pp suggested, depending on your surname. It’s horrendous that it’s come to this to mitigate racism and bullying, but I completely understand why you feel forced to do so after what’s happened to your eldest, and I’d probably do exactly the same rather than risk going through something similar all over again.

Jewish people are very used to experiencing all sorts and everyone ends up in their own place with it. Hiding it is a very understandable option, and absolutely the only option at many points and places in history. It's really depressing that it's being talked about as the best option so often nowadays. I have many Jewish friends who just never, ever tell anyone and tell their kids to hide their religion at school. It's not that unusual.

I think what is slightly unusual about the OP's situation is that her kids didn't intend to tell anyone they were Jewish but the bullies harassed them so often about their ethnicity (in the sense of country, not religion - I know it's complicated for certain groups of Jews to differentiate but it's not always the same thing) that they were 'forced' to disclose their religion based solely on their physical appearance. I think it's likely that something else started them down this path, but I can't rule out the possibility that simply having slightly darker skin/hair/eyes etc would suggest this to some sorts of horrifying people and they'd just push and push until the OP's kids gave up lying.

I also really hate the various posts on here who seem to imply that suggesting support for Israel means that the bullies have an excuse to know they are Jewish and therefore terrorise them. Jews and non-Jews are allowed to be or not be Zionists and not be bullied for that.

For my kids, it is slightly complicated as I was born in Israel (to American parents so moved to the states when I was 2) so they are technically Israeli as well though they have never been there. That is the thing they never talk about in school as my daughter is frankly too scared to mention it. It's hard enough being openly Jewish nowadays without adding that into the mix.

However... for my daughter at least, it has made her FIERCELY proud in a very angry way. She had a Jewish stand at culture day, she talks about it frequently, she told those boys surrounding her in the library just where to go and backed it up physically, she wears her Jewish star whenever she likes, invited all her non-Jewish friends to her Bat Mitzvah and has no qualms representing herself just as she is. With intensity. Slightly unsettling levels of intensity sometimes to be honest as I get a bit scared for her.

What I find interesting is that people are obviously trying to use up post space on this important thread with whataboutery/ despite being suggested a new on an issue is started - why is that I wonder.

This thread is full of people asking questions like “what looks like a British person” “what about Farage”? Is it because they want to take away the voices of people trying to fight antisemitism? Undermine or deny the actual experience Jewish Children are facing in the UK?

Post those questions elsewhere, stop taking up valuable space on this thread with off topic comments.

The OP asked what "cover story" she should give. That was my suggestion.

In no way do I think this is acceptable. The rise in anti-semitism is real and appalling.

And no, I don't think lots of people have learnt anything from 1937.

There's actually a Wikipedia page for this Poland slur, full of depressing buy informative links.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Go_back_to_Poland

Exactly. I am not going to engage with the vile posters sock puppeting each other or refusing to understand the association between Jews and Eastern Europe, and how this association has been coopted by racist.

Farage is completely irrelevant.

Ethnicity and nationality are separate, which a lot of posters are refusing to understand.

OP asked for ‘cover stories’ and then hasn’t engaged with even one suggestion of a cover story.

She hasn’t replied to any of them.

I think you should read @Aislyn10.37 post.

Thank you for sharing this and trying to educate. I sadly thing that there are those who will refuse to educate themselves that this is an example of how racism towards Jews present.

This is a well known slogan and the children at my eldest's school are familiar with it, hence associating Poland with Jews.

Thank you. I am not going to engage with the posters above who are just seeking to minimise or derail.

I am listening carefully to all the comments regarding suggestions for 'cover stories' and really appreciate the useful advice here from some posters

I am so sorry you and your children are going through this OP.

Farage isn’t irrelevant. He is likely to be the next Prime Minister and has said appalling things about Jewish people.

It’s strange you’re not bothered by him.