To ask you to help with a cover story for my Jewish child

[Aislyn]

My eldest is at secondary school and has suffered horrific racist bullying due to being identifiably Jewish. She never told anyone, but they guessed due to her appearance, and her saying Eastern European countries when asked 'where are you from?'

Unfortunately the school has been completely unhelpful, and refused to tackle this.

My second child is starting at second and has sen. They are at even higher risk of bullying. They have an appearance that would mean that they could be identified as Jewish, especially when citing Eastern European countries in response to the above question. Can anyone think of a cover story for my child?

(Yes, I have tried to get them a place at a Jewish school, but there is none available)

Sorry to hear your son is experiencing this OP. As for people interrogating you about mentioning Eastern European countries, have they not heard of Ashkenazi Jews?

I have Ashkenazi descent and most of my family on DF side look Jewish. However me and my brother often get mistaken for Slavs.

My xh is from a neighbouring country to Isreal. Very fair skin but dark features and was often mistaken for Greek, Spanish, Italian Balkan or Cypriot even by the local Arabs.

Your dc shouldn’t have to hide the fact they are Jewish and the school sound useless but if pressed by other kids, they could just say one of the above countries and a one like Poland. I myself am part Russian/Polish on one side and Spanish on the other.

OP are your kids on the lists for the Jewish schools? If not, is there are reason why not? If it’s distance then surely a longer travel time outweighs this current nightmare you are having. And, if they are then are you going to appeal if they haven’t been given a place?

i Remember your previous post, so despite being challenging about Jewish appearance in this thread I absolutely understand why you’re asking the question but I beg of you, regardless of whether you agree with Jewish schools or what you wanted originally for kids please move heaven and earth to get them a place

Yes I am doing everything possible to get Jewish school places. I have submitted an appeal. There just aren't enough places though.

I know there aren’t. The increased anti Semitism and the VAT on private school are putting such pressure on places. But there is movement I promise and there will be people holding Jewish and private places. I feel you have such good grounds for appeal. I really feel for you, you must feel like you are in a living nightmare.

So sorry you have to do this. Is saying one of the Mediterranean countries or Portugal an option. Have you as a family visited any? Could you make a trip to one that appeals. Then DC would have a bit more of a cover story, knowing some of the place names, food, local sights, etc.

e.g

Some of my family is from Crete, near Heraklion, it is a city on the coast with an ancient harbour. There are lots of street cats that people look after. It is a tourist place because of the ruins, but you can go along the coast to swim and there are ferries to the other islands. There are amazing pastries for breakfast. Lots of olive trees. The language is really tough but lots of people speak English luckily.

or pick somewhere in Spain or Portugal where it would be easier to learn a bit of the language.

Horrific you have to do this.

Some of my roots are Jewish, but I am very mixed so nothing stands out and I am not religious. I never discussed it with colleagues and don’t think I will let DC know until they are through school.

Could you try and get them in a Catholic school? I went to Catholic schools and I still have lots of respect for Jewish people because of my faith (Jesus being Jewish, Christianity being a sort of follow-up to Judaism). The school was very pro-Jewish we went on Synagogue visits for Religious education. Having a faith based school can help children understand different faiths. We also learned about hinduism and Islam.

Catholic school by law have to take 10% non catholics too

Have you reported the teacher here?

https://www.gov.uk/report-teacher-misconduct www.gov.uk/report-teacher-misconduct]]]]

Personally, I would also be making a complaint to the police.

Please tell us what a british person looks like.

If your solution to fight anti-Semitism is by being Islamophobic then I wonder at your agenda here.

This kid hasn't been bullied at the school she doesn't yet attend. Her mother is concerned about the possibility of it happening.

The first time we had to report a hate crime to the police it was a group of white Scottish girls who surrounded my daughter while yelling terrible things. She was 9.

The next meeting with the school was one of those girls following my daughter around and whispering more of it. Also 9

The next time was an Italian boy and a Syrian boy telling her they hope her whole family dies and they’re going to find her wee brother. 10 here.

The next time was a group of Muslim teenagers surrounding her in the stairwell and telling her they were going to call their older cousins to follow her home so they ‘know where you Jews live’. Police involved here too. 11 here. First month of high school.

The next time was a handful of white Scottish children telling her Anne Frank was weak and the Jews should have tried harder. Then they blocked her from leaving the library and asked her if she was weak. She is not. We signed her up for self defense classes after the last incident. 12 here and about to have her Bat Mitzvah.

There were a handful of other things too but these were what first came to mind. I don’t think there are particular groups of people more or less inclined to be bigots. It’s everywhere.

While there is definitely antisemitism in some Muslim communities, if you don't understand why any white British person would be antisemitic then you have a very long, very sad history to look up.

Lithuanian is a good one - some Litvak’s are darker than my mum (who is Sri Lankan).

Surely you’d just say I’m from “x suburb of city where I live”. Unless they have moved to the uk recently and EAL?

My parents are of Scottish heritage, I would never say I’m from Scotland.

If people push further because of how DC look then, as PP has said, just ask what British people look like or as them if they’re intending to be racist.

Wasn’s a royal in trouble recently for this attitude?

From what the OP has said their child is at a school where most children are not what she calls ‘British looking’ so I don’t know what this ‘where do you come from’ question is about. it just doesn’t seem to make sense. I’m not disputing it. It just doesn’t make logical sense.

I'm surprised too. Maybe because I frankly don't expect people that age who are bullying to know very much about the history of the Jews in Poland, I'd expect people that unpleasant to likely be ignorant too.

> suffered horrific racist bullying due to being identifiably Jewish.

And how did the school behave to address this issue when you complained?

The next time was a handful of white Scottish children telling her Anne Frank was weak and the Jews should have tried harder. Then they blocked her from leaving the library and asked her if she was weak. She is not. We signed her up for self defense classes after the last incident. 12 here and about to have her Bat Mitzvah.

• what the hell?? This is insane.

It seems like far too many Jewish people in this country are living in a terrifying reality that too many non-Jews are unaware of.

What is spreading these bigoted views? Social media? I've personally noticed a lot of racism on there.

Sounds that it is a school when big proportion of children actively live with their foreign heritage - some mix of looks, culture, religion. They are aware that they are "not local" and they are probing for heritage of the others - especially when they suspect "an enemy" based on physical appearance.

472 Then children have changed in the last few years

I suppose some people might be wondering why, if she looks Slavic, the children assumed she was Slavic Jewish specifically. I suppose of they're fixated on Jewish people they might just have picked a person they perceived as 'most likely'. Terrible....

That's just appalling.

I can't imagine why a school would let this continue. If I'd made such a comment to a colleague in most of of the places I've worked, I'd have been given a warning and ended up in disciplinary proceedings if I'd done it again.

It's beyond belief that a school is allowing this to continue. Is there a complaints procedure or anything?

Part-Polish Catholic here & I see exactly what you mean. Sending a 🫂 and hope your DD can be moved to a safe school & the bullies punished.