People should make an effort on Mother's day.

[madaboutpurple]

I feel sorry for the Mum's who were disappointed with Mother's day presents or lack of them. At Christmas it was full of messages about husband's who made little effort. Now there are loads of messages from Mum's who got nothing. People need to be a lot more generous. I was given flowers from the supermarket manager and I am not a mum.

TBH its like valentines day and completely commercialised. You should appreciate your mum every day.

Couples just need to actually talk to each other about what they would like/expect from days such as this.
Zero communication seems to be the main issue going by the many threads I read on here.

It's taken my 4 years to train my ex husband into what is expected. Clear communication is everything. A card, a gift that is wrapped, the kids given the opportunity to shop for it themselves. Only £5 each and from Tescos but the heartache of having nothing, no respect shown was awful previously.

I agree op. Cards in our shops from feb. A bit of effort. Doesnt have be big money. Feel sorry for the mums who got nothing.

Too true.

I agree, and I think those saying it’s not a big deal, it’s just another day etc just don’t have the self-esteem to expect anything more. Mothers deserve to be celebrated every single day - I agree! But those saying that are likely the ones not celebrating them today so absolute hypocrisy!

Its a made up day to sell shite nobody needs. Nobody should be more generous with stuff. People need to be generous with their time.

I’m a single parent so got absolutely nothing like every year.

People need to communicate with each other. If you have expectations, share them. It’s too easy to say nothing then seethe with resentment because ‘they should have realised’. No, people aren’t mind readers.

Might as well scrap birthdays too then

A small gift e.g. chocolates, flowers etc, that's nice. Making it into a big thing, lunch out, having to spend the day together etc, gruesome in my view.

Another single parent here. 2 older teens. They have been pretty good under instruction the last 2 years (just a card / breakfast in bed (I ordered stuff in the online shop to make it easy for them) maybe and the offer of emptying the dishwasher or similar. This is the first year both have been earning so in theory could have got a small bunch of flowers or something.

They both got up v late morning. Gave me a hug and I got a couple of pieces of folded up paper masquerading as cards which will have taken no more than 2 minutes to do.

I have felt pretty unappreciated and shit all day. I just watched MAFS this afternoon wishing the day away.

Have you actually thought that it’s got nothing to do with low self esteem or hypocrisy. My mother passed away 3 years ago and for that reason I choose not to celebrate. My adult children know this so the day goes unmarked. They do however show their appreciation throughout the year.

Absolutely. The best gift you can give is your time.

I disagree. I'd rather spend the time with my children than have a card or gift. My eldest two aren't home a lot as they are late teens so have their own lives but always make the effort to spend time together on special occasions

Is this for real? I honestly don't know if this is a joke I'm missing, but it feels to me like if this is actually real then the kids are probably terrified of not meeting your exact requirements.

God it's a made up day for the gift and card industry. 'Respect'? Ha!

As a lone widowed parent for many years l just used to treat myself, or get sons to secretly scan something nice in the supermarket for me at the tills.
Same at Christmas and birthday.

I have plenty of self esteem thanks !

i just dont feel the need to “force” my children to do something

having said that they are all grown up now so a different dynamic but honestly your ridiculous comment could not be further than the truth.

People have different lives and different values can you not understand that ?

Why should people make an effort for a gimmick like this? Just an expensive fuss over nothing, people should appreciate Mums every day.

I didn’t receive anything shop bought this year but DD knitted my gift herself and I love it. She also made a cake which we had for dessert after the roast DH cooked for us, DM and MIL.
And as a total bonus she sorted all the bastard laundry while I sat and watched a film with the dog!

I don’t think there is a “should” about it, actually. I think Mother’s Day is an overly commercialised circus. I’d rather nobody wasted money on a present I don’t need or wasted paper on a card I don’t not need either. I really would prefer other ways of being shown appreciation.

However, I can appreciate some people place greater weight to it even if I don’t- but I don’t think it’s particularly productive to try to force people to express care/gratitude/affection in the way you’d prefer.

This! An absolutely pointless circus.

Yes, the kids are only small so I ask my ex to take them to a shop and help them buy something. Post divorce he didn't do anything but when I said how much it upset me and if he could just get a card and a wrapped gift it would mean a great deal, he has finally started to do it.

Being a solo parent it does mean a great deal to me and also meant a great deal to my kids to be able to buy something in secret and give it to me.

AIBU is an absolute delight on Mother's Day. Why don't you all woman up and actually tell your kids (or fathers of your kids) you were disappointed with their offerings rather than bitch on here. Because if you put on a faux smile and accepted gracefully, they are going to think it was fine and do the same every year.
Or the OP who actually complained about the way her mum worded her thanks for the flowers she sent her.

The commercialised Mother's Day has only been around since the 50s. It is hardly a tradition going back 100s of years. Mothering Sunday was actually about the church, and not women who have had kids.

I am imaging a fed up mum swatting her kid away with their card whilst she is on her phone on MN posting about it.

I feel like so many people are missing the point - most mums aren’t after expensive showy gifts and meals out. A cup of tea in bed, a card, perhaps a bunch of flowers or a box of chocolates, and a hug, is pretty much all that is needed. It’s low cost/affordable to most, it’s low effort overall but it shows that somebody cares. The people that are disappointed haven’t even received that.