To report my neighbours XL bully, it is ruining my life

[TheLangyers]

I’m 14 weeks pregnant. Me and my partner currently live on quite a rough council estate as we are saving up for a house deposit. Won’t be able to move for another couple of years.

Our next door neighbour has an XL bully. I am usually a dog lover but feel really uneasy about these dogs. My mum was a dog walker for a few years and I got bit by a pit-bull and repeatedly witnessed incidents involving them. My childhood best friend was left with lifelong facial scares after her rescue pitbull randomly decided to bite her face off during a game of fetch.

The XL bully hasn’t personally attacked us yet but it’s been involved in several incidents. It’s been known to get in fights on the local field with other dogs on the estate but owner insists it’s always the other dog’s fault. She leaves it unattended in the front garden, gate is usually closed but it could easily jump over. My partner doesn’t understand the danger that these dogs present and often encourages it to come over to stroke it when we go out. Our walls are very thin and I know from overhearing domestic arguments that it’s bitten the owners autistic grandson before when they’ve been playing.

She often walks 2 minutes the road to another friend’s house and doesn’t bother muzzling or leashing it for this as it’s a short walk. It just runs down the road in front of her. For proper walks it’s on a leash but no muzzle as it “doesn’t like a muzzle.” She often moans to be that she’s suspicious that people on the estate will “snitch” on her so she tries to walk early morning or late at night.

Being pregnant I’ve been a lot more cautious and try to only go out when my partner can give me a lift - I can’t drive. However an incident today has left me terrified. I was on the road in front of our house at lunchtime cleaning the car and they come out to walk to the friend’s house. It jumps on my back trying to be friendly and lick me - this dog weighs 70kg. I froze and was terrified and she didn’t pull him off, she just kept shouting its name until it ran to her and they left.

It’s really starting to ruin my life and my partner doesn’t care as he just thinks it’s a funny, goofy big dog. He always brings up my parent’s cockerpoo as an example as occasionally nips at people when it is guarding food but the difference is that a cockerpoo isn’t capable of killing a healthy adult, and a cockerpoo usually will bite once then back off. XL bullies generally are genetically wired to try to kill and could turn at any moment.

I’ve now fallen out with my mum too as she’s very worried about mine and the baby’s safety and she says we should look at private renting somewhere else until we can afford to buy. This annoyed me as we only pay £500 a month rent at the moment and if we were to move to another private rental it’d be hundreds
more and we would lose a load to our savings to moving costs. I don’t see why we should have to do this. My mum says I’m putting money over my baby’s safety and has become angry at me. I feel like I can’t win.

I want to report as she’s breaking the law letting it out unleashed and unmuzzled but I’m concerned that the neighbour would know it’s me after the incident today and make my life hell. She is somewhat unhinged, nice enough on a shallow level, will invite you in for a cuppa and chat to you etc bit get on the wrong side of her and she’s as rough as a bears arse and will get family members to bang on your door etc. Police have been called before when she’s had disputes with another neighbour about rats in the garden. I hate confrontation and really don’t know what to do.

any advice appreciated

Yanbu op, I hope something is done.

You are right to be concerned. Any large, heavy dog jumping on my back would terrify me, and I'm not pregnant. If I were you, I would be looking to move ASAP. Nothing is worth this risk. I would also report her, although I understand why you are hesitant.

The problem with these dogs isn't just that they are unpredictable. They have incredible bite force and are genetically disposed to keep on biting once they start. That's why they are supposed to be muzzled outside.

To be honest, I wouldn't tolerate being around ANY dog known to nip. But with a baby it would be madness.

I think that you can hope for some action from your report, but it's unlikely to be removed and euthanised immedately if that's your hope.

Staying at your parents with a baby is not an option, you can't shut the resource guarding aggressive cockapoo in a bedroom 24/7, that is completely unrealistic.

I think that you need to work out what the safety of your child is worth, and your peace of mind, suck up the increase in rent and move without delay.

if the dog is doing that then yes report

It doesn't matter if the dog is doing anything or not! The law has been bought in that XL bully's should be muzzled and on lead in public for good reason, to protect people from the harm that they are capable of inflicting.. to deny there is no risk is ridiculous.

If she was complying with the law she would have absolutely nothing to worry about, the neighbour is the one putting her own dog at risk here, not OP by reporting it, if that dog gets shot and killed in the street just for running loose, the only person to blame would be it's owner.

Two things can be true at once though. yes bad owners are a huge part of the problem, but you can’t deny the size and strength of an XL bully. They are pure muscle with huge skulls. You have no chance if once went for you.

My parents are responsible with their cockerpo and muzzle it and don’t have it near children. They send it to a dog sitter when they have events in their house. They have learnt the cockerpoo’s triggers and warning signals and can manage him well. This is a huge reason why the cockerpoo isn’t as much of a threat as an XL bully. But what is also hugely relevant is that even if the cockerpoo somehow got off its lead and then got off the muzzle in the park and mauled, a grown man would be able to pull it off and neutralise it quite easily. They’d maybe have bite injuries which would need medical attention but they wouldn’t have their limbs ripped off. An XL bully is a different story.

YANBU. I’m so sorry, it sounds hellish. Can’t stand big scary dogs and the owners that let them intimidate or hurt others.

We won’t be visiting them 24/7 though. For long visits they will use a dogsitter. If we pop in for an hour for a cup of tea it will be in the bedroom. We aren’t naive in regards to the cockerpoo at all. We’re all very experienced dog people.

I agree with you though that it’s worth paying extra rent for safety.

Best of luck, OP. Your neighbour is obviously thick as pig shit to have one of these things living with her so I'd be careful that she's not ranting at you when ickle - 'fur baby' - he's - a - sweetheart! is about.
Now you've set the ball rolling, is there anywhere you can go to if need be?
Got to be honest here: while your dh may not be an abusive guy at all he does sound like a complete idiot who's incapable of protecting you.
P. S. I've reread this as I thought 'am I being too harsh?' but no I'm not.
It is absolutely common knowledge that these creatures have a terrible reputation now.

Yes you are being harsh. They are not 'things' nor are the majority dangerous. It is always down to how they are raised/trained by a person.

However I doubt very much this lady wants the dog euthanised - I would sincerely hope not - but having read her latest post I do agree action needs to be taken to get the owner to be more responsible. It is illegal for ANY dog to be roaming free, which is why they are licenced. From the tiniest chihuahua to a dog this size.

I'm not wanting to jump on the cockerpoo bandwagon, as it is irrelevant to your post about your neighbour, some dogs resource guard, and you have to be mindful of the risks of that. I've had dogs all my life and would never trust a dog with a treat or food around a child, it's just common sense, if the dog has never shown aggression before, one day they may.. they are dogs, not humans and will exhibit dog behaviour.

BUT the way you are describing your parents dog, it's no wonder your partner is using it as an argument against you, you started off saying it resource guards, then you said it has bitten once but not for three years, now it is always muzzled on walks and has to be sent out the room when family are around, or sent off to a dogsitter.. you are quite clearly downplaying the risk it poses.

Your mum is a hypocrite for berating you about choose to remain living next door to that XL bully, and your partner isn't wrong to be calling you out for defending their cockerpoo who has a history of aggression.

But you are right to have reported the XL bully and you should definitely move away from them before baby comes.

Absolutely this. I have about 30 different reptiles and friends kids like coming over to the zoo. The calmest and absolutely least likely to bite anyone, and never has even when being hauled around by her middle, is the 18 foot Burmese python. She is the only one I won’t let anyone’s kids play with because she’s the only one that could kill them.

I would honestly call anyone a liar who says their pets - whatever they are - have never done something unusual or unexpected. Also animals have moods like people. Age and illness can affect behaviour in weird and unpredictable ways.

you have to weigh risk on what could happen, not what’s likely. I’m sure the MAJORITY of XL bullies haven’t ever actually harmed people. There are/were over 50,000 in the UK and the actual number of attacks is a v small percentage of that. So what? Doesn’t make a single shred of difference if you or your kid are in that tiny percentage

the cockerpoo has never bitten on walks but they are cautious and responsible given it had a brief history. It hasn’t bitten for 3 years but does still give wanting body language occasionally, and my parents respond accordingly.

It seems they can’t win

More common for the XL bully though.

I would say that given she has had warnings before and complied for a few weeks before then relaxing again, I think it’s getting to the point where euthanasia may be a realistic solution.

She has repeatedly shown that she couldn’t give a damn about following the rules and being responsible. It’s really on her if it gets euthanised, I won’t feel an ounce of guilt or sadness if the police come round to cart it off. I’ll just be happy to leave my house safely.

It's not about winning. It's about being honest about the situation, which is presumably what's causing the tension with your DP. He can see that there is an issue with your parents dog being around a baby. You have described a dog which isn't safe to be around a baby, even less so a mobile toddler or a child.

And, your next door neighbours dog situation is causing you unneccesary stress. Move house. Keep your baby away from your parents dog, and accept, in a conversation with your DP that his concerns about the cockapoo are also valid.

It's not an either or situation. It's a neither.

Nope. They are inherently dangerous. Doesn't matter how well they are trained because if it is true that any dog can turn then it is obvious that a chihuahua turning poses far, far, far less danger than an XL bully doing the same.

I don't know if the OP wants it euthanasised. I would, though. Not out of sadism but because they're too risky to be in any social environment.
Either that or put in a safe compound with high walls and security fences with dog handlers who are happy to take the risk they'll turn.
And no disrespect intended but an unleashed chihuahua walking down the street isn't going to have anybody breaking into a sweat.

So no I don't think I'm being too harsh. These creatures should simply not be allowed as family pets.

I just cannot conceive how anyone's right to have them as pets trumps the safety of human beings given their terrible reputation. Just get a spaniel, ffs.

“It's not an either or situation. It's a neither.”

That’s actually my whole point. He is using “whataboutism”. I can bring up 50 different solutions we have discussed with my parents for my baby’s safety in regards to the cockerpoo. We don’t get that sort of control over the XL bully.

Are you able to get any footage at all? I know it’s not something you’d want to be seen doing, but is it possible to do this discretely from a window? If she has been warned before and there is evidence after this, maybe there will be a higher chance the dog is seized?

I would read into that that he's feeling that his concerns about your parents dog being around the child are being minimized, as they have been here.

That isn’t the context in which he’s bringing up my parents dog though. He just says “Oooohhh don’t worry about (neighbour’s dog). He’s just a bit old softie and big cute gentle giant!!!! Fluffy cockerpoo dogs like your mum’s bite!!!”.

It’s stupid and makes me cringe

Yes I do have discreet window videos but they aren’t particularly clear as I have been ducking under the windowsill when filming them to avoid being spotted

It is always down to how they are raised/trained by a person.

I'm so sick of hearing this utter bullshit, certain traits are bred into dog breeds FACT, it's why collies display herding behaviour, even when not a working dog, it's why certain dogs will retrieve, guard, chase etc, it comes naturally to they have been bred specifically for decades to have those desirable traits.. XL bully's are no different.

You can train a dog to be the best, most compliant dog in the world, but you cannot remove it's instincts and in the right set of circumstances their instincts will take over any 'training' you think you have instilled. XL Bully's descend from dogs bred for speed and aggression, they will do what comes naturally to them in the right circumstances.

Insisting dogs are just a blank canvas, and any undesirable traits are a product of their upbringing is just stupid quite frankly, and that sort of ignorant attitude is why so many people and pets have been murdered by these dogs out of control.

I'm sorry for pointing out the obvious, but your fluffy cockapoo mums dog... does bite.

I. Am. Aware.

It had a history and we take the appropriate steps to ensure the baby will be safe. That’s because we’re not thick and know that they can’t be in the same room.

I wish my neighbour wasn’t thick in regards to her giant killing machine of a dog, but she is.

The point massively is flying over your head. I’m not continuing this.

She is breaking the law by walking it unleashed and un-muzzled. If she is so flippant as to do this, then she definitely hasn't met all of the other compliances that comes with owning an XL bully.

I'd leave it a bit and then report her.