To report my neighbours XL bully, it is ruining my life

[TheLangyers]

I’m 14 weeks pregnant. Me and my partner currently live on quite a rough council estate as we are saving up for a house deposit. Won’t be able to move for another couple of years.

Our next door neighbour has an XL bully. I am usually a dog lover but feel really uneasy about these dogs. My mum was a dog walker for a few years and I got bit by a pit-bull and repeatedly witnessed incidents involving them. My childhood best friend was left with lifelong facial scares after her rescue pitbull randomly decided to bite her face off during a game of fetch.

The XL bully hasn’t personally attacked us yet but it’s been involved in several incidents. It’s been known to get in fights on the local field with other dogs on the estate but owner insists it’s always the other dog’s fault. She leaves it unattended in the front garden, gate is usually closed but it could easily jump over. My partner doesn’t understand the danger that these dogs present and often encourages it to come over to stroke it when we go out. Our walls are very thin and I know from overhearing domestic arguments that it’s bitten the owners autistic grandson before when they’ve been playing.

She often walks 2 minutes the road to another friend’s house and doesn’t bother muzzling or leashing it for this as it’s a short walk. It just runs down the road in front of her. For proper walks it’s on a leash but no muzzle as it “doesn’t like a muzzle.” She often moans to be that she’s suspicious that people on the estate will “snitch” on her so she tries to walk early morning or late at night.

Being pregnant I’ve been a lot more cautious and try to only go out when my partner can give me a lift - I can’t drive. However an incident today has left me terrified. I was on the road in front of our house at lunchtime cleaning the car and they come out to walk to the friend’s house. It jumps on my back trying to be friendly and lick me - this dog weighs 70kg. I froze and was terrified and she didn’t pull him off, she just kept shouting its name until it ran to her and they left.

It’s really starting to ruin my life and my partner doesn’t care as he just thinks it’s a funny, goofy big dog. He always brings up my parent’s cockerpoo as an example as occasionally nips at people when it is guarding food but the difference is that a cockerpoo isn’t capable of killing a healthy adult, and a cockerpoo usually will bite once then back off. XL bullies generally are genetically wired to try to kill and could turn at any moment.

I’ve now fallen out with my mum too as she’s very worried about mine and the baby’s safety and she says we should look at private renting somewhere else until we can afford to buy. This annoyed me as we only pay £500 a month rent at the moment and if we were to move to another private rental it’d be hundreds
more and we would lose a load to our savings to moving costs. I don’t see why we should have to do this. My mum says I’m putting money over my baby’s safety and has become angry at me. I feel like I can’t win.

I want to report as she’s breaking the law letting it out unleashed and unmuzzled but I’m concerned that the neighbour would know it’s me after the incident today and make my life hell. She is somewhat unhinged, nice enough on a shallow level, will invite you in for a cuppa and chat to you etc bit get on the wrong side of her and she’s as rough as a bears arse and will get family members to bang on your door etc. Police have been called before when she’s had disputes with another neighbour about rats in the garden. I hate confrontation and really don’t know what to do.

any advice appreciated

They could literally use people's attitudes to these dogs as an Adult Decision-making Competence test.

Can you make out the bare minimum though, can you see from the video that it’s definitely off lead/unmuzzled in an area it shouldn’t be? That should be enough surely. Really hoping you get a good response from the police and they decide enough is enough.

We do have a ring doorbell which I’m sure has a shitload of footage of it walking unmuzzled and unleashed past our front door. Only my partner has access to the app though.

OP - your DP is an absolute idiot. But rather than persisting with 'the cockerpoo can be managed' just agree with him - exactly - the dog is not to be trusted around babies / young children and will not be in the same room. Tell him that NEITHER dog can be trusted, one of them is actually not being managed in a legal way and he needs to consider that being jumped on by 17Kg dog could have caused you to miscarry.

I weigh 70Kg and if I hurled myself unexpectedly on the back of a stranger on the street I would expect serious consequences.

I think it is unfortunate that you told him you have reported the dog, since he is not on your side over this. You could have told him you want access to the app so that you can see who is out there before you answer the door. But I bet he won't give it to ou now.

Why does he alone have access to an important household facility?

What’s ironic is that when my partner was single he had an aggressive German Shepherd put to sleep as it was being too reactive towards children in public and he was struggling to re-home despite his best efforts. It was a crappy situation for him as he was “gifted” the dog as a puppy despite never asking for one and was stuck with it and out of his depth. I know he holds a lot of guilt over that whole situation.

You’d think that experience would make him more cautious of the neighbours dog but nope. Because he’s never actually seen it bite I don’t think he sees it as a threat at all. He gets so happy and excited when he sees it and falls for all of the neighbours bullshit about how it’s always getting attacked in the local park and wouldn’t hurt a fly. He doesn’t take me serially when I tell him I’ve witnessed incidents whilst he’s been at work.

Report report report. Your story of the dog (who weighs the same as an adult woman) jumping on your back while you're pregnant was terrifying.

There will be other people in your community thinking similar I'm sure.

I hear these people saying just move. We live in a cheap area and yeah, there are some issues but we all still deserve to feel safe. If this area's not good enough for me and my kids, it's not good enough for anyone so I'm part of making the change with community projects. You'd feel awful if you moved and didn't report and then the dog hurt whoever moved into your current home.

If the owners are happy walking them without muzzle or lead, and that dog has already hurt people just report them. If it helps, make a record of all the things you've noticed. Is there a way to report anonymously? I understand that you are probably worried about them finding out.

Well done to the poster who pointed out that dogs have traits bred into them. Can't be emphasised enough.
For example, collies are supremely intelligent doggies. The only real fear I have about them is that they'll embarrass me by completing the Times crossword when I can't.

Sprinkle dark chocolate coated raisins in the garden for the nice doggy.

I'm concerned about your partner op, I think this is a man starting to become abusive because his partner is vulnerable and pregnant.

Yup, dogs are very complex creatures and can absolutely have traits bred into them. I know of a Collie that cries and becomes distressed when the owner cooks lamb because the smell of dead sheep distresses it. It’s fine with other meats. This particular dog was never a sheep herder.

They aren’t born blank canvases, that’s a load of bollocks.

I am concerned that if you don’t feel happy coming in and out of your house due to a dog next door then it’s really going to affect your mental health in the coming months. If you’re tired and stressed with a new baby to deal with you aren’t going to cope at all well. Move.

Awful trigger happy advice. You do not just euthanise a dog because of an irresponsible owner. Rehome if necessary but the animal should not be condemned to death - fine and prosecute the owner but don't take it out on the dog. That isn't solving anything and is a typical 'human' response.

It’s illegal to rehome an XL Bully. So yes, the next step is euthanasia unless you’d prefer it to be stuck in a crate in a kennel for the rest of its life.

i would feel exactly the same. I would report but also start looking for new places to rent, Take the lead here - it isn’t up to your partner alone where you live - he prob doesn’t want the hassle or extra cost but also men don’t get the ‘protect the baby’ instincts that we do as strongly.

the dog might get put down but then what? She gets another? Quite likely if she feels the victim in this.

talk to some agents, get looking and maybe you’ll get lucky with another affordable option

To those dismissing breed traits:

• Have you ever tried to get a pointer to retrieve? Both frustrating and funny as they just naturally point, for you to go and get the ball.
• Have you ever tried to teach a retriever to point? Never will you feel more judged for human stupidity.

The whole point of selective breeding over centuries was for specific physical and behavioural traits to be expressed, including in some cases aggression. The guarding nature of a Yorkie is, by it’s size and jaw type (been bitten by one multiple times), far less damaging than an XL Bully, whose jaw can break bone.

Of course not but I profoundly disagree in putting an animal to sleep just because the owner can't be bothered heeding advice.

It’s the owner that has put the dog at risk of being PTS though, not the scared neighbour for reporting it. If the dog is seized and euthanised that is the owners doing.

What happens to the dog following my report isn’t my responsibility or problem as far as I’m concerned, I just want it gone from my vicinity.

The only thing that's flying over my head is why you are having a baby with a man who you describe as stupid and makes you cringe, and why you aren't already looking for alternative housing, because that's the only way this is going to be solved appropriately. Re the cockapoo, I've got it. It has, not had, a bite history, and that's difficult for the family to accept.

How is it difficult for us to accept when we muzzle it for fucks sake?

You moan at us for not taking the cockerpoo seriously and then continue to criticise when we say it is muzzled on walks due to its history. It will never be in proximity to the baby. We’ve got a good plan of how to manage it. It will be locked upstairs for short visits and a stair gate will be used for extra protection. For long visits or family holidays it has a dog-sitter.

Do go away.

I’d 100% move. This will not get better, she’ll likely know it was you, or assume anyway, if she loses that dog she’ll just get another one and will probably never ever shut up about it. It is unsafe for you to stay there.

Fine - you do not agree ethically with euthanasia for out of control dogs.

But that isn't the OP's responsibility. Do you mean that she should put up with an illegally managed unsafe dog that escapes and jumps on her? maybe does that when she has her newborn in a sling or buggy?

What do YOU think the OP's options are? (Given that even if she moves the next neighbour will face the same dog next door)

Yeh she is deffo the type to just get another one. She is a highly unpleasant person and incredibly intimidating, I wouldn’t put it past her to get another one just to frighten me.

I think the initial ban should’ve been harsher. They should’ve all been humanely euthanised from the off. They are incomparable to any other dog breed due to their genetic traits and sheer strength and size. I always appreciated that the UK was free of dangerous wildlife, but with all of the uncontrolled XL Bullies around, I don’t feel that way anymore. People who have them are unhinged.

They are ugly as sin too, never understood the appeal. Most people on this estate who have them are single women who are obsessed with them and treat them as “the man of the household”, very bizarre dynamic.

I’ll upset people with this but there we go.