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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To report my neighbours XL bully, it is ruining my life

484 replies

TheLangyers · 15/03/2026 20:03

I’m 14 weeks pregnant. Me and my partner currently live on quite a rough council estate as we are saving up for a house deposit. Won’t be able to move for another couple of years.

Our next door neighbour has an XL bully. I am usually a dog lover but feel really uneasy about these dogs. My mum was a dog walker for a few years and I got bit by a pit-bull and repeatedly witnessed incidents involving them. My childhood best friend was left with lifelong facial scares after her rescue pitbull randomly decided to bite her face off during a game of fetch.

The XL bully hasn’t personally attacked us yet but it’s been involved in several incidents. It’s been known to get in fights on the local field with other dogs on the estate but owner insists it’s always the other dog’s fault. She leaves it unattended in the front garden, gate is usually closed but it could easily jump over. My partner doesn’t understand the danger that these dogs present and often encourages it to come over to stroke it when we go out. Our walls are very thin and I know from overhearing domestic arguments that it’s bitten the owners autistic grandson before when they’ve been playing.

She often walks 2 minutes the road to another friend’s house and doesn’t bother muzzling or leashing it for this as it’s a short walk. It just runs down the road in front of her. For proper walks it’s on a leash but no muzzle as it “doesn’t like a muzzle.” She often moans to be that she’s suspicious that people on the estate will “snitch” on her so she tries to walk early morning or late at night.

Being pregnant I’ve been a lot more cautious and try to only go out when my partner can give me a lift - I can’t drive. However an incident today has left me terrified. I was on the road in front of our house at lunchtime cleaning the car and they come out to walk to the friend’s house. It jumps on my back trying to be friendly and lick me - this dog weighs 70kg. I froze and was terrified and she didn’t pull him off, she just kept shouting its name until it ran to her and they left.

It’s really starting to ruin my life and my partner doesn’t care as he just thinks it’s a funny, goofy big dog. He always brings up my parent’s cockerpoo as an example as occasionally nips at people when it is guarding food but the difference is that a cockerpoo isn’t capable of killing a healthy adult, and a cockerpoo usually will bite once then back off. XL bullies generally are genetically wired to try to kill and could turn at any moment.

I’ve now fallen out with my mum too as she’s very worried about mine and the baby’s safety and she says we should look at private renting somewhere else until we can afford to buy. This annoyed me as we only pay £500 a month rent at the moment and if we were to move to another private rental it’d be hundreds
more and we would lose a load to our savings to moving costs. I don’t see why we should have to do this. My mum says I’m putting money over my baby’s safety and has become angry at me. I feel like I can’t win.

I want to report as she’s breaking the law letting it out unleashed and unmuzzled but I’m concerned that the neighbour would know it’s me after the incident today and make my life hell. She is somewhat unhinged, nice enough on a shallow level, will invite you in for a cuppa and chat to you etc bit get on the wrong side of her and she’s as rough as a bears arse and will get family members to bang on your door etc. Police have been called before when she’s had disputes with another neighbour about rats in the garden. I hate confrontation and really don’t know what to do.

any advice appreciated

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
ReleaseTheDucksOfWar · 16/03/2026 10:08

Just to say, I really think your decision to move is wise. This stress and very justified fear is no good at all for you.

(fwiw I also think you're handling the idiots on the thread very well; last thing you need, the deliberate distorters and hard of thinking here!)

TheLangyers · 16/03/2026 10:15

ReleaseTheDucksOfWar · 16/03/2026 10:08

Just to say, I really think your decision to move is wise. This stress and very justified fear is no good at all for you.

(fwiw I also think you're handling the idiots on the thread very well; last thing you need, the deliberate distorters and hard of thinking here!)

Thank you.

I’m an animal lover but people seem to have gone somewhat mad recently.

The heartbreak of an owner having her uncontrolled banned breed dog put down is not at all comparable to the heartbreak that a mother would feel after her child is mauled to death. I can’t really bring myself to care about the plight of XL bully owners. You chose to get one, deal with the shit that comes with it. I’m convinced that many of them get a kick out of feeling oppressed and “victimised”.

OP posts:
QuintadosMalvados · 16/03/2026 10:17

Christ I wouldn't be able to function with that thing wandering about.
OP, your distress is utterly and completely reasonable, your dh is being an idiot about this, your neighbours are c*s and whatever you do to be free of this godawful beast of an animal, this random person on the Internet here wouldn't judge you for it.
I 100% mean that.
Please try to calm down and think first, OK? All the best and stay safe.

TheLangyers · 16/03/2026 10:27

Thesnailonthewhale · 16/03/2026 08:17

Get your parents one destroyed first then as it bites children too.

Why are you just making stuff up? You pulled that out of your arse.

It never bit a child. It nipped my dad twice when it was 11 months old. It’s 4 now and hasn’t done it since. There’s been one or two incidents where it has given warning and has been reprimanded but hasn’t led to a bite.

OP posts:
SomeOtherUser · 16/03/2026 10:37

TheLangyers · 16/03/2026 10:02

I’m well aware of this, but the difference is that my parents have good control over it. It will be kept away from baby during visits and they have a trusted dog-minder to have the dog when we want to stay over or they want to visit us.

I get you mean well but I am just sick of my partner and others claiming that the XL bully situation is somehow fine just because “Your parents dog!” It’s madness.

Edited

I'm definitely not saying that! The XL is a separate problem. Just checking that no one around you (such as your parents) is minimising the risk of any dog, no matter the size, especially one that's shown aggression. 😊

The bully owner is breaking the law from the sounds, so like others have suggested I'd wait a little while then report.

Thesnailonthewhale · 16/03/2026 10:39

TheLangyers · 16/03/2026 10:27

Why are you just making stuff up? You pulled that out of your arse.

It never bit a child. It nipped my dad twice when it was 11 months old. It’s 4 now and hasn’t done it since. There’s been one or two incidents where it has given warning and has been reprimanded but hasn’t led to a bite.

Edited

You're quite right, sorry - however when you posted that the dog "occasionally nips at people when it is guarding food" it made it sound like an ongoing issue - then you go to say it only fid it "once or twice" 3 years ago.

So people would get confused and wonder why the parents biting dog is ok

I do agree with you that the Bully should be got rid of as it is deadly.

L0V315 · 16/03/2026 10:42

For all of those xl bully apologists a little history on the xl bully blood line for you to educate yourself with...

banthebullyxluk.wordpress.com/2023/08/01/finding-kimbo/

Also a little something to think about, xl bullies have an insanely high prey drive. This can be triggered by high piched noises that children make when playing, babies and children crying, babues, children and adults screaming.

Breed for fighting, they show no steps of warning that normal dogs show, so 0 to death in a blink of an eye.

Their jaws lock and they shake their heads to tear chunks of flesh off from their prey. Xl bullies jaws have been known to stay locked and the dog continues to attack even when police have shot the dog several times.

Let that sink in for a moment...

Op if I were in your shoes, I would move away, yesturday preferably.

Womanofcustard · 16/03/2026 10:45

I thought it was illegal to keep an XL bully?

Thesnailonthewhale · 16/03/2026 10:48

L0V315 · 16/03/2026 10:42

For all of those xl bully apologists a little history on the xl bully blood line for you to educate yourself with...

banthebullyxluk.wordpress.com/2023/08/01/finding-kimbo/

Also a little something to think about, xl bullies have an insanely high prey drive. This can be triggered by high piched noises that children make when playing, babies and children crying, babues, children and adults screaming.

Breed for fighting, they show no steps of warning that normal dogs show, so 0 to death in a blink of an eye.

Their jaws lock and they shake their heads to tear chunks of flesh off from their prey. Xl bullies jaws have been known to stay locked and the dog continues to attack even when police have shot the dog several times.

Let that sink in for a moment...

Op if I were in your shoes, I would move away, yesturday preferably.

I'm fairly sure there's an XL bully near us that get walked.... It's hard for me to tell, but every single time it stops and sits alert, looking directly at and watching my child... "Luckily", I'm on alert for it and we go straight to car, with me between the dog and child... we're only ever a few steps away from the car, which we're often getting into when it passes by around 20m away.

I always rush child into the car, (and Child will be thrown in car if needed!) and door shut as soon as possible. It's awful.

It's all we can do :( I don't know if it is a cl bully or not, I just assume it is going to go for her one day and do whatever I can to keep her safe.

Glitchymn1 · 16/03/2026 10:50

L0V315 · 16/03/2026 10:42

For all of those xl bully apologists a little history on the xl bully blood line for you to educate yourself with...

banthebullyxluk.wordpress.com/2023/08/01/finding-kimbo/

Also a little something to think about, xl bullies have an insanely high prey drive. This can be triggered by high piched noises that children make when playing, babies and children crying, babues, children and adults screaming.

Breed for fighting, they show no steps of warning that normal dogs show, so 0 to death in a blink of an eye.

Their jaws lock and they shake their heads to tear chunks of flesh off from their prey. Xl bullies jaws have been known to stay locked and the dog continues to attack even when police have shot the dog several times.

Let that sink in for a moment...

Op if I were in your shoes, I would move away, yesturday preferably.

Well I wouldn’t spout about ‘educating’ people too much. It’s physiologically impossible for a ANY breed to lock its jaws. 🤦🏼‍♀️
Anatomically impossible.

Thesnailonthewhale · 16/03/2026 10:52

Glitchymn1 · 16/03/2026 10:50

Well I wouldn’t spout about ‘educating’ people too much. It’s physiologically impossible for a ANY breed to lock its jaws. 🤦🏼‍♀️
Anatomically impossible.

irrelevant, the effect is the same

CitizenofMoronia · 16/03/2026 10:53

Glitchymn1 · 16/03/2026 02:04

You seem very angry with everything and everyone- unless they agree with you.

No I wouldn’t report it, because the neighbour is likely to find out it’s you and you’ll face repercussions- you say you don’t care and will go and live with your DM (who you’ve fallen out with). I can’t see that living situation working out for very long.
The dog is very unlikely to be seized, she will just get a warning to muzzle in future.

@WickedWitchOfTheEast87 the OP doesn’t want the neighbour to find out she’s reported it. Putting up cameras is going to announce that it’s her 🤦🏼‍♀️

not if it looks doesnt look like a camera, I have one that just looks like a flood light, ive had people who know I have a camera look for it and still not spot it.

gonnarunoutofnames · 16/03/2026 10:55

Thesnailonthewhale · 16/03/2026 10:48

I'm fairly sure there's an XL bully near us that get walked.... It's hard for me to tell, but every single time it stops and sits alert, looking directly at and watching my child... "Luckily", I'm on alert for it and we go straight to car, with me between the dog and child... we're only ever a few steps away from the car, which we're often getting into when it passes by around 20m away.

I always rush child into the car, (and Child will be thrown in car if needed!) and door shut as soon as possible. It's awful.

It's all we can do :( I don't know if it is a cl bully or not, I just assume it is going to go for her one day and do whatever I can to keep her safe.

It may not be much consolation, and I know it can look quite intimidating, but lots of bully breeds stare intently. If it's sitting and not showing any aggression, you are probably fine.

BrickBiscuit · 16/03/2026 10:56

Glitchymn1 · 16/03/2026 10:50

Well I wouldn’t spout about ‘educating’ people too much. It’s physiologically impossible for a ANY breed to lock its jaws. 🤦🏼‍♀️
Anatomically impossible.

"Dogs, by nature, are equipped with powerful jaws. Whether they’re playfully grabbing onto a toy or, in less frequent cases, displaying aggressive behaviour, understanding how to safely get a dog to unlock its jaw is a valuable skill for dog owners and professionals alike. This article sheds light on the mechanics of a dog’s bite, preventive measures, and practical steps to take if you find yourself in a situation where a dog won’t release its grip."

Well that took me five seconds to find on a search.

DallasMinor · 16/03/2026 10:57

Report the dog but stop believing shit like “XL bullies generally are genetically wired to try to kill and could turn at any moment.”

Any dog could turn at any moment, given the right circumstances.

gonnarunoutofnames · 16/03/2026 11:00

BrickBiscuit · 16/03/2026 10:56

"Dogs, by nature, are equipped with powerful jaws. Whether they’re playfully grabbing onto a toy or, in less frequent cases, displaying aggressive behaviour, understanding how to safely get a dog to unlock its jaw is a valuable skill for dog owners and professionals alike. This article sheds light on the mechanics of a dog’s bite, preventive measures, and practical steps to take if you find yourself in a situation where a dog won’t release its grip."

Well that took me five seconds to find on a search.

Search better
https://wagwalking.com/sense/can-dogs-jaws-lock

Can Dogs' Jaws Lock? - Wag!

Join the debate, discover the science behind, and learn the signs of your dog's potential capabilites. Can dogs' jaws lock? Find out now.

https://wagwalking.com/sense/can-dogs-jaws-lock

TheLangyers · 16/03/2026 11:01

https://www.reddit.com/r/BanPitBulls/s/p1aeaPYdHU

https://www.reddit.com/r/BanPitBulls/s/dPCdVMcpB5

These videos of pitbull puppies are worth a watch

OP posts:
TheLangyers · 16/03/2026 11:05

DallasMinor · 16/03/2026 10:57

Report the dog but stop believing shit like “XL bullies generally are genetically wired to try to kill and could turn at any moment.”

Any dog could turn at any moment, given the right circumstances.

True that any dog can turn.

Would you rather take your chances with a Chihuahua or 70kg XL bully?

I’d choose the one that can only reach my ankles, and not jump up and latch onto my throat, personally.

I’d also take my chances with a Labrador, Husky, basically anything other than an XL bully.

OP posts:
TheLangyers · 16/03/2026 11:10

Anyway, I’m done debating with XL bully defenders. The report has been lodged and I’ve informed my partner that if she kicks off then I’m going stay elsewhere and he can deal with her shit.

OP posts:
TheLangyers · 16/03/2026 11:15

Partner at work and I’m stuck in the house at the moment. I’m really hungry and want to go to the local shop to get some lunch but the dog is in its front garden. Guess I’ll have to go hungry for the next few hours. I love my life

OP posts:
cheframsay · 16/03/2026 11:15

TheLangyers · 16/03/2026 11:10

Anyway, I’m done debating with XL bully defenders. The report has been lodged and I’ve informed my partner that if she kicks off then I’m going stay elsewhere and he can deal with her shit.

Glad you have got it done and reported! Keep us updated with what happens. I have one I need to report too, so I’m curious what will happen.

ArtAngel · 16/03/2026 11:16

ByZingyMauveReader · 16/03/2026 09:05

XL Bullies are NOT 'wired to kill at any moment'. Please don't become one of those people. This is someone's pet. Unless you have concrete evidence that the dog poses a danger - and they usually don't, it's usually a human who has trained them to be dangerous - please don't ruin other people's lives. Are you sure you are not just being overly cautious because you are pregnant? If so, it's really unfair. Stop buying into the myth that all these dogs are dangerous.

It bites / jumps on and terrifies the owners grandson (as heard and witnessed)

It is huge and heavy and jumps in people in the street

It is in no way under the owner’s control: it does not respond to her commands

Of course the OP should report.

What if it jumped on her and knocked her o er while she had her baby in a sling?

It won’t be the OP’s decision what happens to the dog once it is investigated, but if owners break the law with their dogs (no muzzle etc) it is the owner’s responsibility, not the OP’s, if it does get pts.

But don’t worry, the authorities seem so negligent and lax that it is likely nothing will happen and the floofy furbaby people can relax.

ArtAngel · 16/03/2026 11:18

TheLangyers · 16/03/2026 11:10

Anyway, I’m done debating with XL bully defenders. The report has been lodged and I’ve informed my partner that if she kicks off then I’m going stay elsewhere and he can deal with her shit.

Well done OP.

Despite my scepticism I hope something IS done.

ConstanzeMozart · 16/03/2026 11:18

TheLangyers · 16/03/2026 11:10

Anyway, I’m done debating with XL bully defenders. The report has been lodged and I’ve informed my partner that if she kicks off then I’m going stay elsewhere and he can deal with her shit.

Good for you, OP.

ByZingyMauveReader · 16/03/2026 11:19

ArtAngel · 16/03/2026 11:16

It bites / jumps on and terrifies the owners grandson (as heard and witnessed)

It is huge and heavy and jumps in people in the street

It is in no way under the owner’s control: it does not respond to her commands

Of course the OP should report.

What if it jumped on her and knocked her o er while she had her baby in a sling?

It won’t be the OP’s decision what happens to the dog once it is investigated, but if owners break the law with their dogs (no muzzle etc) it is the owner’s responsibility, not the OP’s, if it does get pts.

But don’t worry, the authorities seem so negligent and lax that it is likely nothing will happen and the floofy furbaby people can relax.

That's ok then, if the dog is doing that then yes report, but jumping on people is very different than saying a dog is 'dangerous'. I'm sick of the animals getting the rap for poor ownership. We are not floofy furpeople - we happen to care about the damage that irresponsible people are doing to animals. Huge difference.