AIBU? Costings and date nights

[ForLuckyReader]

I’ll stick to the facts.
— I (28) have been living with DP (32) for about 8 months now. He owns the home via mortgage which he has had for 5 years.
— I pay half of bills which is £150 per month — I pay half of food shop which is £200 a month - 70% of which is food for DP.

DP never offers to pay for a date night, ever. It’s always split on Monzo - everything from coffee to a meal. I want to be taken out once in a while. It gives me the ick.

AIBU

Bit difficult to know how to votes as - on the initial question, taken in isolation, YANBU. It seems weird to me to constantly be sending each other money for half the bill every time you stop for a coffee or a drink or a night out.

When I meet up with friends one of us will buy the coffee or the drinks and next time the other one will, without particularly keeping count, it just works out. It would be bizarre to meet for a coffee and then transfer money for each drink bought, let alone a romantic relationship. That's just incredibly odd.

However

How are you justifying not paying any rent ?
Why are you not treating him when you go out. Both because he is letting you live rent free, but also, just because he is your boyfriend.

and that was my thought long before people linked to your other thread about the debt he is in.

This is weird.

Surely a wind up.

If not - you don't sound like you even like your boyfriend and you sound like you need a fuck ton of therapy to resolve the poverty trauma you speak of and anxiety.

And if you were a man we'd all be shouting cocklodger

Yeah, giving her free housing is really stingy isn’t it.

Very strange!

Monzo request for half of drink would give me massive ick and I wouldn’t be able to get over it.

Do you live with him out of love or out of convenience ? any of them is fine imo, but the course of action depends on the answer.

This

Without getting into arguments over 'date nights', etc., I will just say that I find meanness a really unattractive trait. If it's not a possibility to treat each other sometimes, then you can be generous with time, favours, etc. If he's mean in all of that (and probably in bed too....) then, I'd get rid, sadly.

You’re only ‘in a position to save’ because your boyfriend is letting you live in his house for a really tiny amount of money.

If you were renting from a landlord you would likely be contributing to the landlord’s mortgage. That is how renting works. Someone owning a home or holding the mortgage on a home doesn’t mean you should live there for free.

you are an adult and should pay for housing, plus utilities, food, and all sorts of other expenses.

Half the bills are £150 so all are £300.

how can this be

council tax and gas and e are over £300 for me

then add on water - tv - building and contents - WiFi - as bare basics / let alone phones - sky - life insurance etc

I would say you have a good deal. Do you only psy £150 in rent per month (including bills)?

Take his hint and start paying your way in life. There’s only one skinflint here and it’s not him

But let’s be honest this and your other thread are as real as a nine pound note

How do you only spend £200 a month on food for two people?

There is no way in any world - fictional or not - that bills for a household of two are only 300 a month. You need to double/triple that if you want to be taken seriously.

You are paying 350 a month in total for all bills/food and no rent - why on earth aren't you at least covering ALL bills and food in lieu of paying rent? Then he can pay off his loads faster and everyone will be happy.

What's your issue with his debt though? You've said he's paying it, will be fully repaid in a short few years.

Your other thread, you said you had NO DEBT, and you never said anything about him pissing the money up the walls. So one or the other is false. I would hazard a guess you are not a great liar because you can't remember your own stories.

End of the day, he houses you. You are an ungrateful freeloader. I wish someone could show him these threads so he'd know to pack your bags and change the locks.