To interfere with the floral flow?

[WombAndBiled]

Would I be a ungracious wretch if I politely requested no more flowers?

I've currently got 17 bouquets at home, was my birthday last Sunday and I was thoroughly cherished and indulged.

Today 2 more deliveries have arrived, from a couple of Dc's friends.

I'm seeing my 4 DC plus they're partners tomorrow for a big family lunch and I would imagine they'll all turn up with more.

I absolutely cannot give them all the enjoyment they deserve wth them all in bulk than if they'd arrived separately.

I'm fully aware how blessed I am and would be worried about coming across ungrateful if I messaged (my DC only; not other folk who have traditionally treated me to flowers in Mother's Day) of I messaged to ask not to bring flowers if they hadn't already organised them.

Your presence is more appreciated than your floral presents sort of malarkey?

So I guess my AIBU is

YANBU - ask them gently to pause the petals?

YABU - stop being a flipping miserable wretch, enjoy the abundance.

💐

3.30pm the afternoon before Mothers Day is cutting it too fine to tell people no flowers? They'll either already be ordered / purchased or you put your DC in a position where they'll need to find a last minute gift (if they were planning to grab you a bunch tomorrow)

Hopefully your DC would have opted to get you something else after seeing the abundance of birthday flowers?

And I'm very jealous of your kitchen prep table. In another lifetime I will have one of those 😂

That's odd, to buy flowers for a friend's mum on mother's day?

Huh, count your blessings. Despite being a very nice and loving person, I have received precious few flowers in my 51 years, to the extent that I am going to reverse the usual funeral directions I plan to leave and ask for as many sodding flowers as possible!

Do your DC's friends not have mums of their own?

If they do, or if there's a woman in their lives who does the mothering (grandma, stepmum, aunt, big sister) I would encourage them to take the flowers for that person instead.

If you're doing that job for 4 or 5 of your kids' friends, then that's quite an unusual level of absent mothers around.

🙄 Why did you get so many at Valentine's? Had you been shagging half the town?

Ignore me - I'm totally jealous. I do not inspire people to buy me flowers, even when I do shag half the town! 🤣

Lovely idea. I work in a care home and flower donations are very much appreciated. Lots of residents don’t get any, so it brightens their day 🙂

Put the most wilted of last weekend's flowers in your garden waste bin to make way for fresh new arrivals. Mix and match rather than keeping them in the bouquets they came in.

I thought the children’s friends were gifting her flowers for her birthday, maybe. Still weird but not quite as weird as for Mother’s Day?!

Getting flowers is seriously overrated, I hate them! Give me a nice houseplant any day.

Oh they buy for their moms too.

Just quite a few of them think to treat me on these days, very kind of them. I am very honoured that they think of me in this way.

And there's a couple of the DC's friends moms that my DC treat on Birthdays Mothers' Day etc. But I do suggest fizz 😉

The post says 'on my birthday and Mother's Day'. I do find that odd. Have only ever bought flowers on Mother's Day for my own mum and on occasion by agreement for my mother in law. How old are these young people, OP @WombAndBiled ?

She just turned 40 and it's Mother's Day. I got a silly amount of flowers for my 40th from friends and colleagues. I can see how this would lead to a lot of flowers!

Absolutely don’t mention it. They will have for them if they are going to and will just feel crap and not know whether to hand them over or not.

Just enjoy them. Take some photos of them. And be glad so many people keep you in mind.

Nursing home would be really nice.

I asked for no more flowers a few years ago. I have a big bountiful garden and I know I'm a bit of a grump but I'd rather have garden centre vouchers plants or even hand cream than sit and watch a couple of hundred quid wilt and rot. Dh and adult dc took it well and it's stopped they actually put a lot more thought in now so that's a bonus.

I love receiving flowers (as long as they are things I like), but I don’t think I’ve ever had 17 bunches delivered, even when either parent died. There’s not a lot you can do at this late stage to prevent more coming tomorrow.

When my dad died, one of my friends arranged for me to have a fortnightly delivery for an entire year. Lovely, kind gesture - but I am extremely fussy and really disliked a lot of the colours/types so gave loads away. Thankfully, she lives abroad so was none the wiser.

I actually preferred receiving garden plants (hydrangeas, roses, a jasmine and an olive tree), which several nice friends sent me. I get loads of pleasure seeing them thrive.

I have never heard of DC’s friends giving each other’s mums flowers for Mother’s Day, very odd and must cost a fortune!

That is so deeply weird.

Take the flowers you don't want to the local nursing home so the residents there can enjoy them on Mother's Day.
I'm baffled that so many of your children's friends buy you flowers though, that's very odd.

The OP can't have just turned 40,surely that's too young to have all your 4 children living away with partners and 17+vases and a lady's chamber

Also agree it's weird for your children's frienda to be buying you flowers on multiple occasions

As mentioned by a PP, the whole thread is a bit odd.

Do you think for future years you could set up an account with a local florist which people contribute to to provide regular deliveries through the year? We did this for my granny one year and she ended up with flowers every couple of weeks for ages and she could enjoy them all much more as they came

First mother's day for me tomorrow without my mum and not one friend or person other than my DH has got me flowers. You certainly are very blessed. My mum only died a few months ago.

I mean, I'm not expecting any flowers from anyone else other than DH, but I'm surprised your friends are being so thoughtful, my oldest friend who is thoughtful wouldn't do that for me! Are you a real lover for flowers? Did you tell people to buy you a lot? I note you said "mom" in your second post, are you American, is this an American thing? To buy someone other than your partner or parent loads of flowers for their birthday or mother's day after a bereavement? I barely got any flowers when my mum died never mind for mother's day. I'm finding this quite...odd.

Also, so sorry for your loss, I'm really missing my mum so much right now. Christmas was really hard without her and I'm hoping my DH takes my mind off things tomorrow.x

Sorry for your loss OP, and sending you the best for tomorrow on that front.

I had this same issue once and it was actually after my mum died - I had 15 bunches of flowers!! It was lovely but a bit overwhelming. I took some to a couple of neighbours and explained, they happily received them - worth a try?

But yes maybe too late to mention anything ahead of tomorrow.