To be upset over ruined photo shoot?

[iamjustgutted]

Gutted about this.

I spent admittedly far too much on a Mother’s Day photo shoot. Had it today and was awful. Kids not playing ball at all; ds wild and charging around like a complete lunatic, dd whiny and refusing to do anything she was asked.

I know it’s just kids etc but I can’t lie; I’m gutted.

That's a really unkind thing to say to someone who's lost her mother.

What is wrong with you?

I'm not surprised you're upset. I would be, too.

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad about it.

It is rather, although it was a very long time ago now and I’m over it. But thank you.

Hmm. I'm not sure how ethical this photographer is if they charge you full price for unusable photos, to be honest!

If their plan fell through and they didn't have a contingency, they should maybe offer you a different time. It might be worth asking if the photos are a disaster!

Might be nice for Nan though to have her own daughter in some of the photos too...

And you’re just being spiteful. I’ve had a terrible week, I’d looked forward to this, and it was awful. It does feel as I outlined in that post. How things feel and how they are aren’t always the same.

Probably MIL 😂

People are different, I suppose. But as a rule of thumb, I wouldn't be making flippant remarks about mothers day being depressing to someone whose mother has died.

Maybe, to be honest I just want to put the whole thing behind me. £80 is a lot of money to me, it would obviously have been worth it if they’d been nice.

Don't give up just yet. A friend of mine is a professional photographer and she does a lot of family shoots. I know for a fact that she offers to redo sessions when she can't get anything worth using!

@iamjustgutted - it is horrible when something you have looked forward to, and paid a lot for, doesn’t work out, so I am sympathetic.

I do echo the posters who have said wait and see what pictures the photographer did get - they may be better than you are thinking. You will be in them, with your family, and as other people have said, this may come to be a funny, family memory - something real and true that you will smile about.

You could also consider another session, but look at what worked and what went wrong with this one, and do things differently. Do you have a friend or family member who could come and do some more candid shots, in a less pressured situation?

I think she’d have said at the time if that was something she offered, to be honest. But thank you. I’ll just chalk it up to experience!

Honestly I know what people are trying to do with the ‘you’ll laugh one day’ I really do … but it is a bit raw just at the moment. It isn’t just the photos, it’s a general sense of nothing I do going well and backfiring massively. It does feel at the moment that every time I try to do something nice either for me or someone else it backfires and ends badly.

Be gentle with yourself, @iamjustgutted. It is OK to be upset, but you know the feelings will pass - and things will all look better.

But it is reasonable to think that she might be sad about losing her mum even if she hasn't specifically referenced it here.

The outcome will depend on how good at editing your photographer is mine got some good shots of my kids poking their tongues out at each other but they refused to do it at the same time so she said she could splice the pictures if she couldn't get the shot

We went for an indoor photo shoot less distraction had pictures with the kids by themselves then with the parents problem was (for my husband) all the kids wanted to be with me not him "because we never get mom pics" it shows in his face and the kids faces they are hilarious and I wouldn't change them 🤣

It's a nice thing for the future my dad had zero photos of himself with his mom he loved his mom to pieces but the photos he had were her with his cousin her with a brother etc etc so I made sure to get a few "official" photos for when we are all older

No I'm not. It was a photoshoot that didn't work out, not a life or death situation. All this talk of but being "still raw", it's way over the top.

I was probably a bit harsh earlier because I did think you had unrealistic expectations. Don't feel stupid. You'll have years to get great ones, a little blackmail is easier when they're older.
My DGD recently had a very expensive cake smash shoot where a minimum number of photos had to be bought too. She delicately picked at the sprinkles one by one from the cake and the photos of her are amongst the worst I've seen of our beautiful girl.
Take a friend (if DH is useless at photos) on a picnic this Summer and get them to take loads. I'll bet you'll find at least one that is gorgeous and genuine.

I don't really understand the way that you're approaching this or why you feel the need to joke about the obviously genuine sadness that OP is feeling.

Can't believe you were so rude to @PatriciaRocks who was clearly trying to console you with the voice of experience that this won't matter at all in time - you might even laugh about it.

Clearly, no-one is ever unreasonable to be disappointed / upset that something they were looking forward to didn't pan out as they hoped, BUT clearly it was pretty optimistic in the first place. All parents surely know that small dc are unpredictable (as is the weather as you planned this outside).

In this day and age, with everyone having a digital camera on their phone on them at all times, it is an interesting choice to spend £80 on a 'photoshoot' when clearly £80 is a not inconsiderable sum for you, but of course we can all spend our money as we wish, but you must have known that small dc are unpredictable, and factored that into whether it was worth spending that money or not.

Snuggle on sofa in your pjs, when everyone is calm and relaxed, take some group selfies, send the best to one of those printing companies.