Three or four baths a week?

[christonapushbike]

When we redid our bathroom we got a lovely big deep tub with the intention of using it as a nice treat approx once every 2-3 months. DSD enjoys using it 3-4 times a week and complains that her ensuite shower isn't usable as the pressure in her shower is 'too low' (its fine- not a power shower but totally usable!). Am I unreasonable to feel this is completely ungrateful attitude and an ensuite is a massive privilege (only she has one in our house) she spends up to 2 hours bathing in our bath and I've worked out each bath costs £3.50 in gas and water (it's 300 litre capacity). When challenged on why she refuses to use her own bathroom she just shrugs/ scowls. Her ensuite is a shower room with a toilet (no bath) for reference.

I take it you don't like her?

I have a bath every day.

bloody love it.

are you actually complaining about a child using the bath too much?

I've never understood why anyone would bother installing a bath if they only intended to use it 6 times a year. I think it's fine to tell her she can't monopolise your bathroom for hours at a time, but I'm not sure she's doing anything wrong by using a bath for its intended purpose?

She just prefers baths to showers. I also have 3 baths a week because I prefer them to showers. To expect to use the bath once every 3 months is insane. I assume this is more to do with the fact you don’t like her, than the baths.

How old is she? Some people prefer baths to showers, is it just the cost you object to?

You’ve worked out the cost? And you only want to use it 4 times a year? 😂 is this a wind up?

I hate showers. Id have been really unhappy as a child/teen if I wasn't allowed them.

I love baths. Hate showers.

I have a stepdaughter. She doesn’t live with us. If she did, I’d pick my battles. This comes across as you trying to pick an argument.

Once every 2-3 months 😮

Why would you spend all that money installing a bath to one use it that often

What will you do with the answer to your question? Surely it doesn't matter whether she loves a bath or whether she is being ungrateful. Knowing the answer to this will not change the situation a single bit.
I totally get the inconvenience and the expense. I am not sure I'd want to fork out £50 a month for one person to use the bathtub either. I can't even remember the last time I had a bath, it seems such a frivolous expense in the current climate... but that also isn't helpful information to you.
You two need to find a compromise. If it's money.. maybe she can contribute. If it is the fact that she occupies your bathroom four times a week, maybe you need to switch rooms around so that she doesn't have an ensuite which she doesn't use and you can use it instead. Maybe she can reduce the number of baths she has altogether or have them at a different time of the day. Any of these solutions are not dependent on the answer of whether she is ungrateful, though.

I have baths really often and our water bill isn't big I don't believe. Don't know how bit my bath is though it's just a normal bath

And?
Myself and husband (only us, thanks goodness), only take baths. Shock horror.
I hate showers with a passion.

Baths aren’t frivolous, louboutins are frivolous! Baths are just baths 🤷🏻‍♀️ stop being mean

How incredibly mean! And what a horrible attitude to a child wanting to take baths in her own home. And yes it is her own home if one of her parents lives there!

Alot of people just prefer baths to showers. Some people really don’t like the sensation of getting under falling water, and that’s worse if it’s low pressure as it can feel quite cold.

For only £3.50 (I can’t believe you’ve worked it out!) I think she should be allowed this little luxury. Yes she can’t monopolise it for hours on end, if you’d like to get in there, but it’s a bit mean to say “we adults get this lovely
facility but you have to use this less nice thing (in her mind anyway)”

And I say that as someone who doesn’t mind a rainfall shower at all!

If you're struggling to feed everyone/pay the rent I can understand why you've become so concerned about cost/why this is troubling you. I would explain that she can't use the bath anymore as you just annoy afford it.

If you can afford it then you need to seek out some support/therapy for your financial anxiety because fitting a bath that you're only allowed to use four times a year as a treat is absolutely insane. Do get some help.

Why would you install a bath that you can't afford to use as a bath? (I.e. as a washing method, not a luxury item?) Bonkers behaviour.

Me too. Every now and again I have a "two bath day" - if I've done a long run on a Sunday morning I'll have a nice soak afterwards and then again in the evening.

As for the cost, I will happily sit in a hot bath for 40 minutes, so once it's run, it's cheaper than if I were in the habit of taking 10 minute showers. I consider having a bath to be a genuine leisure activity.

I have a bath in my deep roll top bath every day. What’s the point in having one if you’re not going to use it? Our teen DD’s lived in that bathroom and they had en-suites. It’s is not ungrateful, an en suite is not a privilege and I can’t believe you worked out the cost. Perhaps invoice her mum? 🤪. Seriously, some people need a slap with a wet fish to knock some sense into them.

YABVU and quite bonkers.

I have a bath every night, otherwise I can't sleep.

I cannot believe you got a big bathtub for a 'treat every 2-3 months'.

Why put in a bath in you can only use 3-4 times a year?!

Just upgrade her shower to one with better water pressure. It will save you all sorts of arguments. Then you can limit her to one bath a week for relaxing in. I love a bath but three or four a week is a bit excessive if it's a big, deep bath. It gets expensive, not to mention that the rest of the family can't get in there when they need to.

And I think you should be using your lovely bath more than once every 2 or 3 months, or what was the point?

It seems bonkers to spend money on a bath that will only be used a few times a year.

This is definitely a silly thing to argue over.

I love having regular baths, I sit in there for ages with my book. It seems quite a cheap hobby tbh!

I’ve just re read and realised the bath is in the family bathroom and not an ensuite of yours - of course she can use it then!

“Stepmonster” it’s always the step parent who gets irritated by the most basic of luxuries.
Obviously income is an issue and your taking it out on your partners daughter.
I can’t imagine being so bitter to begrudge someone a bath.
As for installing a tub to use so rarely again really really strange in a tightarse kind of way.