Three or four baths a week?

[christonapushbike]

When we redid our bathroom we got a lovely big deep tub with the intention of using it as a nice treat approx once every 2-3 months. DSD enjoys using it 3-4 times a week and complains that her ensuite shower isn't usable as the pressure in her shower is 'too low' (its fine- not a power shower but totally usable!). Am I unreasonable to feel this is completely ungrateful attitude and an ensuite is a massive privilege (only she has one in our house) she spends up to 2 hours bathing in our bath and I've worked out each bath costs £3.50 in gas and water (it's 300 litre capacity). When challenged on why she refuses to use her own bathroom she just shrugs/ scowls. Her ensuite is a shower room with a toilet (no bath) for reference.

That’s a lot of words to say you don’t like your husbands daughter. Even if her water pressure is the best ever on the planet, it seems extremely controlling of you to be “challenging” her about using a shower.

Why can’t just just prefer a bath and be allowed to have a bath? You don’t give her age but if she’s a child I assume her dad and you are not too poor to afford to her fill for a bath or he’d not have made the choice to have a renovations and a very deep bath installed on the first place. If she’s an adult and earning and it bothers her parent that much, he can speak to her about contributing to the water bill?

It sounds though that you view having a bath as your own luxury treat, and are a bit put out to see someone you don’t like using it in a normal everyday way. If you husband chose to go against the 6 baths per year rule, would you challenge him too?

This is one of those threads that I really hope some plonker has made up because I can’t imagine what it must be like to have your baths counted, times and tallied up like this 🤦🏻‍♀️

I have a bath every day. I’ve been known to have two if my back is sore. I have no idea of the litre capacity of my tub but it is a very large spa bath with jets, mood lighting and a built in heater. Maybe you could draw a line around it showing the max depth of water she is allowed, like they did during the war? (that is a joke for the avoidance of doubt)

I have a bath every day. Granted I don't fill it high, and am not in there for 2hours but they are so much nicer than showers and they really help my aches and pains. Plus, it won't be too long before I will be too old to have a bath so going to make the most of them.

Fair if you don't like your room being taken over for 2hrs, but not fine if it's down to cost and the frequency. The cost is a tenner a week, give her ten pounds less in treats if that worried! I fear that the cost isn't really the issue though.

If you were struggling with utility bills etc then your complaint would be justified. You don’t state how old DSD is but the fact remains, if you truly want to nurture a good relationship with her then treat her as one of the family, let her use the bath but gently and reasonably explain how that cost is impacting on the household running costs, if she is of an age to understand that is.

Do you have children of your own OP?

if she prefers a bath, install one in the ensuite?

@ Archymum
“I've never understood why anyone would bother installing a bath if they only intended to use it 6 times a year.”

I never use my bath - but when I had my bathroom done, I was mindful of both DGC and the fact that if ever I wanted to sell my house, it would be easier to do so with a bath as well as a shower in the bathroom. If, however, any visitor chose to have a bath every day they were here,I wouldn’t consider that at all unreasonable.
OP, if your SD enjoys having a bath, I don’t see the problem - just because she has an en-suite shower room is irrelevant. I bet she uses the loo and sink in there. If you feel it’s a “waste”, her not using the shower, then re-arrange the bedrooms. But you are being unreasonable, installing a bath and then having a fit about someone living in your house using it.

I hate showers, so I couldn’t get worked up about an en suite bathroom with a shower.

Why not ask her to swap rooms with another of your kids who would be happy with the shower?

Why on earth would you get a bath that you wouldn't want to use?

Some people really have the daftest issues.

Amazing post. I was wondering how it could possibly be £3.50 per bath!!

Op stop picking fights with your SD.

I’m off to run a bath right now. I love a bath and have one most days.

why on earth would you have a bath and save it for ‘best’.

Compared to most leisure activities, it is only!

Plus lots of pps have come along and calculated it’s only a fraction of that.

Peak MN... You spent presumably thousands to install a bath you intend to use four times a year? I can't believe you've also worked out how much each one costs. YABU!
It all sounds very controlling and as if you aren't DSD's biggest fan.

Exactly! Op can afford en suites and fancy bath tubs to bathe in . However she calculates the cost of the water her dsd uses .

How old is she? in my teens I loved deep baths, especially when I had my period because soaking in hot water relieved the pain. If you can afford for her to use the bath, then let her. There are frequent posts on here by people who can't get their kids to wash at all.

A bath as a treat every 2/3 months? Are you insane??

Stop being so fucking tight, weird and controlling. There is no possible way it costs £3.50 to fill a bath.

You're happy to spend money on a bath you never intend to use, but begrudge DSD using it?

She's told you it's because the shower pressure is too low. Why don't you have a look at why she's using it and do something about it then? Have it changed to a power shower or have someone look at it to increase the pressure? Then she can use her shower and you can use your bath! Oh wait...

You’ve calculated the cost of the baths but have money for a bathroom refit? You sound like you dislike her, it’s not pleasant to read.

If she is the only one with an en suite how many other people use the other bathroom? Showers that are not power showers are not great. Could you consider fitting a power shower? I would tell her that 2 hours is too long to tie up a bathroom that other people use.

It's not £3.50 a bath

I have known DH have 3 baths in one day 🤣🤣🤣

YABVVU. Baths are there to have baths in.

Why don’t you sort her shower out if you’re that bothered about her taking baths?

Do you generally criticise everything the poor stepchild does? Why bother investing in a bath if you refuse to let people use it? It's essentially a show bath... but for who? Who comes in to tell you regularly you have a lovely bath.

I could think of millions of things a young girl could be doing for 2 hours an evening to cause complaints, and relaxing in a bath in her house certainly isn't one of them.

Also, your math is wild.... there is absolutely no way your bath is costing £3.50.

Also, yes an ensuite is a luxury... But I'm sure she didn't beg for this luxury. You bought a house that has an ensuite and she got that room... end of. She doesnt need to be grateful her parents have put a roof over her head.

I'd actually be glad somebody was making use of the bath I spent so much money installing.

When I was a teenager, I liked to have two baths a day. Bloody love a bath. Now I’m an adult, I limit myself to one a day. Most of the time.

It wouldn’t enter my head to stop someone using the bath in our home. There are loads of things I’d cut if we were short of money before i started to ration baths.

Reading this I now have the sudden urge to have a bath.