Am I being unreasonable to refuse to pay for my son’s haircut?

[RareJoker]

This in a nutshell, basically. My son is 17, I give him the money for a haircut every month but the last few times he’s had so little cut off it looks no different! He has that birds nest style that teenage boys seem to prefer these days and I’m getting sick of paying for (what looks like) nothing. This week, he had a 1cm seam razored off the bottom and the rest left untouched.
(I drop him off and know he is actually having a haircut, not spending the money on something else). He’s got a part time job and I’m tempted to say he needs to start paying for it himself.

Yanbu, it’s absolutely the time to start pulling back on paying for the luxuries. I’d still pay a normal frequency , whatever that is for boys, but not gratuitously. It’s time to learn you can’t spunk someone else’s money up the wall.

Surely if it’s monthly it’s always going to be a small change? Otherwise he’d have no hairs at all in 6 months?

id give him an allowance and the he can decide how often to get his hair cut according to his priorities.

Just give him an allowance and let him decide what he spends it on. So if he chooses to spend it in the barbers that will be less money for other stuff. Both my sons inherited my very thick hair and it drives them crazy if it gets too heavy on top so they are regular to the barbers and l think it's up to them to decide. They nearly lost it in lockdown due to heavy mops. I couldn't get worked up over this as hair is a big thing for some 17 year olds

Ugh my teen stepson is the same. It's infuriating forking out (his Dad & I have joint funds) for a haircut that you can barely see. But apparently that is the style... and I've just given in to the fact that he's at an age where he should get what he wants done. But he's not yet old enough for a part time job.

If he had a PT job I'd probably give him 50% of the price. Not just because I don't like the haircut but mostly to teach him about the value of money (a tighter haircut could last 1.5 - 2 times as long!)

Well, you won’t see much change from a monthly haircut.

Men’s haircuts typically are monthly and it’s about maintaining it, not making it look vastly different every time. It’s a trim to keep it looking consistently the same.

My DP’s hair gets cut every three weeks!

@BauhausOfEliott
I agree, 2 of my sons in law are every 3/4 weeks as it’s to maintain the style not for a huge change. OP if you go to the hairdressers is it a whole new look every time? Most ppl it’s to maintain their style.

So if he had a haircut you like, you'd be happy to pay for it? Yes, YABU. Its his hair, surely he can have what he wants?

My DS is the same and it does my head in but to him it's the haircut he wants and it's once a month which boys do need if they have short hair so 🤷🏼‍♀️
if you want him to start paying for his own haircuts because you think it's time then go for it, but don't do it because you don't approve of his choices.

You can’t dictate his hairstyle at this age! We all spend money on stuff we think looks good that makes us feel better, that I bet nobody notices. My new face cream makes me feel glow-y but nobody else notices. That’s not the point. It’s for your son, not you!

My son gets his cut every 6-8 weeks. Offer to pay every other month.

I think you are very unreasonable. Mens hair cuts are generally once a month. I wouldnt expect ut to look like a fresh style every time. It is just about maintaining the style they have. It is no different to a woman going for a trim every few weeks if they have short hair, a fringe or just want to keep it looking g fresh. Presumably you still get child benefit for him if he is only 17?

So you don't like his hairstyle so you are not going to pay ? Poor kid needs to get a number 2 all over so you approve, of course yabu,

Is this any different from (for example) a husband not noticing that his wife has been to the hairdresser's, because he can't see any difference, whereas to her, she's had a wash, trim, blowdry etc? 🤔

A bit petty, isn't it? Is it going to break the budget?

Who decided on the monthly frequency? Ask him if he thinks every six weeks or two months would be more sensible. Maybe you could pay every two months and if he wants a hair cut more frequently, he can pay for extra cuts himself.

Really? My husband goes every 3 months… who are all these people needing monthly trims?

Men who have very short hair. My DH goes every three weeks. Any longer and he starts to look like a loo brush. His hair literally stands out on end.

YABU my DS is 18 and I pay £17 every 3 weeks for his trip to the barber. He is still in full time education and even though he has a part time job I am pleased he takes care over his grooming. So many women on here complain about partners who don’t give a fuck about what they look/smell like. It’s very controlling to say you don’t want to pay because you don’t like how much he has cut. I paid for DD as well until she went to uni.

My Dh goes every 4/5 weeks for a haircut he has short hair and it is just maintanence really, I don't think it is that unusual for men.

Ah, for the days when teenage boys insisted on growing their hair to their shoulder blades, and the only cost to parents was the stamp on the letter to the school saying, "It's his hair. He can have it however he likes."

Hes got a part time job. He can pay for it himself

It depends if you can afford it. I get my long hair trimmed about every six weeks and I’m sure the difference is much less noticeable than on someone with short hair - yet it’s worth it to me.

I think at 17 and with a part-time job I'd just leave him to it? He can decide when he wants/needs a haircut.

why not give him a monthly allowance and let him decide how to spend it?

I think that’s just boys/men’s haircuts. My DH goes every two weeks.