Am I being unreasonable to refuse to pay for my son’s haircut?

[RareJoker]

This in a nutshell, basically. My son is 17, I give him the money for a haircut every month but the last few times he’s had so little cut off it looks no different! He has that birds nest style that teenage boys seem to prefer these days and I’m getting sick of paying for (what looks like) nothing. This week, he had a 1cm seam razored off the bottom and the rest left untouched.
(I drop him off and know he is actually having a haircut, not spending the money on something else). He’s got a part time job and I’m tempted to say he needs to start paying for it himself.

I would give him a monthly allowance. I get my DS hair cut monthly because he’s 11 and has no sense of style but he looks like a scarecrow after the month. It could easily be done fortnightly if he cared about his look.

I agree. My DH and son have theirs done every 3 weeks.

Around here a man's haircut is the same price whether it's a chop or a trim.

My stepson (teenager in school, no PT job yet) liked his done at a specific barber every 3 weeks. At first it was nice that he had started taking an interest in grooming etc but this specific barber was more expensive than others in the area, and I wasn't prepared to pay every 3 weeks for the higher price point. So we compromised. He gets given the price of 1 haircut every month (the higher price) and if he wants say 3 haircuts in a 2 month timeframe he either has to use his pocket money for the 3rd or go 3 times to the cheaper barbers.

He quickly learned that the higher price point wasn't worth it to him 😂

I’d be careful what you wish for. My sons hair was waist length this time last year and he only got it lopped to a bob when he had to do something for charity for a school thing so sent it off to made into wigs. Appreciate that’s his plan from now on and no one can say anything cause it’s for a good cause.

I am told the barbers is a faff, unlike washing drying brushing and tying up miles of hair.

That sounds fair. My son at 17/18 used to want highlights so I did limit how often he could have them done. He is now 19 and at uni so has to budget for his haircuts from the money he gets coming in. He has recently cut his own hair 😂

You think it’s ’flouncy’ to get a 10-minute clipper cut?

My husband gets his hair cut about every 3 weeks and probably gets about the same amount taken off. I don’t see the issue.

Is it affordable for you op or are you under financial strain?

To keep his hair looking like it’s actually meant to look. Short hair needs frequent cuts. It’s very normal for people with short hair, especially if they have any of it clippered or they have a fade, to get their hair cut monthly.

Maybe work out what you can afford to give him each month and what it is supposed to cover and let him manage it himself?
When mine were old enough I gave them a monthly allowance that was a 12th of an annual amount meant to cover clothes, lunches, haircuts, etc etc.
I helped them learn how to plan and budget.

My dd ex boyfriend went every other day.
I think he just liked being called boss man

The ppl stunned at a monthly haircut, do the men in your life all have scruffy hair?
My son keeps his very short as he’s a distance runner, so every few weeks, sons in law have trendy fade/ lots on top so need it done every month or more; one has very curly hair, my DP shaves his head every week, none are flouncy they just like their hair short and neat.
Local barber is £15, compared to my hair at £60/90, men’s hair is much better value.

One of the best things I did with our two was give them an allowance when DS was about 12 and DD 10. Obviously DD needed help, but DS managed it pretty well. I got fed up with the constant requests for money for football, snacks, clothes, footwear, hair cuts etc. So I asked him to write down all the clothes he thought he'd need for the year. And what he thought he spent in a typical week taking into account all his clubs and snacks. Then he worked it out to what he needed a month. I thought it was a bit light so increased it a bit which got me great Brownie points, and off he went to the local Sunday market and blew the lot. However, after a month of being refused any extra money, he learnt not to repeat his mistake and carried on until he started working and then gave me the same amount for his board. I saved it up and gave it to him for his house deposit when he moved out. Both DS and DD are good managers of money now.

Another who thinks every 4/5 weeks is normal. DS is similar age. I wouldn’t ask him to use his part time job earnings to pay for a haircut, I provide for basics (essential clothes, toiletries, haircuts etc.) He gets an allowance to use as he likes for day to day spends and other clothes, and job wages he’s saving for a holiday/cushion for when he goes to uni).

Ahhh, low taper fade?
Infuriatingly, on top of it looking like they've had fuck all done for £12 it's a high maintenance cut so has to be done every 2 weeks. Wtf 🤨

@RareJoker we have started paying for every 2nd hair cut. Didn't mind paying monthly but when he has so little off in just 2/3 weeks it looks a mess and needs trimmed again.

£12 sounds like a bargain! My son’s is £24 and looks like nothing been done 😡
I’m honestly getting fed up with paying for this.

surely it can’t grow much in one month anyway? Why not give him money every 6 weeks?

My year 10 DS is currently working on this! I can't remember when he last had a haircut. School aren't bothered as long as he is safe in practical classes.

My daughter pays for her haircuts

I don’t understand what is the issue with maintaining good grooming? Do you want him to be shaggy?

@Mydogisagentleman this has made me feel better, as both my son go weekly!! Granted, they pay for it themselves. They have VERY short haircuts, so NEED it cut weekly, apparently! 🤦🏻‍♀️

But if he literally had nothing done he would look like a tramp in a few weeks time. Whereas this small haircut keeps him looking tidy - surely that’s the whole point?

Those birds nest hairstyles are easier to maintain because they are longer, but the fade is the difference between him looking like he takes care over his appearance and looking like a bit of a scruff.

A lot of young lads now get their hair cut once a week!

I think it’s a bit mean of you.