I have two guy friends from work. Years differ in age...one younger and the other much older. Ive known them for over a year and I consider them my friends. However, Im thinking of stepping away now to gauge whether they either see me as part of their work friend circle or just another member of the team. As in...they wont bat an eyelid if I left.
I give them hugs everyday, I greet them everyday, ask them how they are, play pranks on them from time to time, check on their well-being when they're feeling down, helping them with their work, and just having casual talks and sharing laughs. I feel happy and relaxed when I am with them, the same with all my other friends at work. However, the past 2 weeks, Ive noticed that the younger one's attitude changed towards me...less talk, less engagement, doesn't smile as often, and speaks to his other long term friends more. I checked in on him and he said that he was fine, I asked him if we were cool and if I made him feel uncomfortable and he said no...if I did, he would tell me.
The older one is a hit and miss. He only ever comes to me when he is in a good mood but he never mentions to me what's bothering him when he is in a bad mood. He will only go as far as telling me if he is mad, annoyed, tired, etc. But I would hear him talk about what is bothering him with others like it was nothing. He does ask me if I am okay when I look down but doesn't ask me what's wrong or offers a listening ear. Same as the other guy. What really made me question our friendship was when I went to them and asked them when their birthdays were because I wanted to get them something when it arrives. They both said they didn't know each other's birthdays and joked that they had forgotten theirs and left it at that. They never had problems receiving things from me before...I even got them some Christmas presents during the holidays because I wanted to so I found it odd that they didn't want to disclose their birthdays to me when I know that they had a few people from work who knew their birthdays. I didn't want to ask their other friends because it felt like I was prying.
Yesterday and today, I decided to just not take the initiative to see how they might react to my change in attitude after a long period of me constantly approaching them first. I didn't go and hug them, I didn't go and ask how they were, I didn't do any of my usual stuff. They probably noticed but none of them came to check how I was. They didn't initiate a conversation when they passed me. Nothing. They just continued working. They looked at me from a distance and that was it. No hellos, no how are yous, no nothing. Im beginning to think that I was never really their friend. AIBU?