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AIBU?

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Employment law question

32 replies

Nickee67 · 11/03/2026 07:32

Had to resign to flee DV from a colleague- matter is under investigation (with my former organisation) prompted by police involvement. I would like to return to the organisation at a later date once the matters are concluded. Would that create any issues from an employer point of view?

I initiated early reconciliation with ACAS but would not want to take to tribunal because I feel it would completely destroy the relationship with my former employer and any prospective of me returning.

I don't know- any advice appreciated!

Thanks

OP posts:
Nickee67 · 11/03/2026 09:13

Brightlittlecanary · 11/03/2026 08:21

Op, you need to seperate your personal life from work

you have resigned, it is no difference to any other resignation. You can apply for roles , you won’t be precluded, but it will be normal process and the best person gets the job.

you are positioning it like the employer is at fault as your colleague was a bison you. The correct position is your partner was abusing you, the fact he as your partner is the dominant issue here.

you can of course call gnem and speak to them.

that's true thank you - i was precisely worried about preclusion or blacklisting in a sense but you're right always good to have other perspectives than your own

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DeftWasp · 11/03/2026 09:23

Nickee67 · 11/03/2026 08:02

my ex-colleague who was the abuser was the one who was preventing me from reporting to the organisation through intimidation - so the organisation did not know until after I resigned and was safe. I only disclosed to the organisation after I had resigned due to the threats etc

Its not an issue for the employer per se - but if I was your employer and your former partner / abuser was still in my employ I would not entertain letting you return to my employ, for fear of an unhappy situation developing.

If he had left, there would be no issue I can think of - but as you resigned, that's a clean break, they owe you nothing and would not be obliged to re-hire you.

Nickee67 · 11/03/2026 11:02

Catcatcatcatcat · 11/03/2026 08:48

I think you are talking about an NHS Trust?

There is nothing to stop you from applying for NHS jobs in future, although personally I’d probably try to avoid the Trust you worked for.

yes nhs as it's a large multi site trust i was thinking different location away from former colleague might be doable but will see

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Brightlittlecanary · 11/03/2026 11:15

Nickee67 · 11/03/2026 08:43

victimisation (from him not the employer)

Then how does an ec process involve them.

they won’t blacklist you, you simply resigned, you can re apply. But trying to make it their fault when they didn’t know and you simply resigned, due to your personal relationship won’t work.

you appear to think as he also worked there they had a duty to protect you from dv at home, they didn’t. They had a duty in the workplace but not if they don’t know.

Nickee67 · 11/03/2026 11:52

Brightlittlecanary · 11/03/2026 11:15

Then how does an ec process involve them.

they won’t blacklist you, you simply resigned, you can re apply. But trying to make it their fault when they didn’t know and you simply resigned, due to your personal relationship won’t work.

you appear to think as he also worked there they had a duty to protect you from dv at home, they didn’t. They had a duty in the workplace but not if they don’t know.

i think dv is complicated due to the internal processes that happen plus the fear...plus also understanding comes later sometimes...so reporting becomes delayed but you're right that other people are better placed to report the abuse to than employers unless it's for safety etc

re: duty of care in workplace, unfortunately he threatened to expose me to his senior work colleagues, isolated me from work colleagues and spread rumours about me at work which forms part of how the workplace became entangled, and how I found myself not having any refuge from the abuse at work or at home - where most people can use work to escape home life, I could not.

in any case I can apply as normal as most people have alluded to so that gives me some reassurance & it's a huge organisation so chance we could never meet...anyway having a personal work relationship is not something I'm keen to repeat lesson learnt

OP posts:
Brightlittlecanary · 11/03/2026 13:28

Nickee67 · 11/03/2026 11:52

i think dv is complicated due to the internal processes that happen plus the fear...plus also understanding comes later sometimes...so reporting becomes delayed but you're right that other people are better placed to report the abuse to than employers unless it's for safety etc

re: duty of care in workplace, unfortunately he threatened to expose me to his senior work colleagues, isolated me from work colleagues and spread rumours about me at work which forms part of how the workplace became entangled, and how I found myself not having any refuge from the abuse at work or at home - where most people can use work to escape home life, I could not.

in any case I can apply as normal as most people have alluded to so that gives me some reassurance & it's a huge organisation so chance we could never meet...anyway having a personal work relationship is not something I'm keen to repeat lesson learnt

It does sound awful but again your employer wasn’t involved and was unaware, so can’t be held accountable, there is no need for ec with them, or any place for one with them

just apply for any jobs that you see you wish, I’d really not be explaining at interview you had a relationship with a colleague that went wrong, I’d find a reason to say why you’d left. Like caring responsibilities etc, an interview is not the place to discuss personal issues.

Nickee67 · 13/03/2026 12:00

DeftWasp · 11/03/2026 09:23

Its not an issue for the employer per se - but if I was your employer and your former partner / abuser was still in my employ I would not entertain letting you return to my employ, for fear of an unhappy situation developing.

If he had left, there would be no issue I can think of - but as you resigned, that's a clean break, they owe you nothing and would not be obliged to re-hire you.

Ok that makes sense so if for some reason the other party was no longer employed, as an employer you would have less hesitation to re employ or rehire (through normal application procedures of course)

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