How long is acceptable to be off work

[shortsout]

After losing a grandparent?

But but but but his job is zero hours. Another zero hours employer wanting it both ways

At my place 5 days compassionate leave. Up to 10 if you were NOK and responsible for organising a funeral etc

If it hit you hard you may also use some annual leave or go off sick.

Two of my grandparents died on a weekend so just the one day for the funeral.

Another died on a Thursday. I was sent home after the call and had that day off compassionate leave. I would have been expected in the next day but I already had annual leave booked for a friend's wedding, which I went to. I was again given day off for funeral.

Though only 2 days, the weekend in-between means he's asked for a day off on day 5 which you can see is quite far beyond what most offer. Quite possibly not in trouble, but if he's still not capable of working 5 days later they may just want to check in on him as most wouldn't still be off?

Dds work have allowed her a week mostly unpaid but she has no father around so they are treating it as death of parent rather than grandparent

I got five days when my mum died. I don't think I took any paid time off when my grandparents died. Just unpaid to travel to the funerals.

Ex civil servant. No days off for grandparents and annual leave for funeral

Totally depends on how close you were, how it's affecting you and what your company policies are. I'd say maybe up to a week. If you're not "fit" for work due to grief following this then you'd have to go off sick - then that would follow your company sick policy. A friend was brought up by her grandmother after her parent died, so when the grandmother died she had a good stint of time. Personally I had no time off when mine died other than for the funeral.

Did you go off sick? I was lucky to be allowed time off without question.

I think 2 days is perfectly reasonable and I'd be surprised if his employer was a dick about that.

Honestly? I’d say a day for the funeral unless there were extenuating circumstances.

How on earth did they get away with that? Though I can perhaps imagine it if e.g. the remaining grandparent had dementia or another illness/disability meaning that they needed a lot of daily care which the other used to provide.

I would expect just the day of the funeral, frankly, unless the grandparent had effectively raised you in lieu of a parent.

If my boss asked me for a scheduled meeting I'd say, "Yes, what is it about?"

Seems like a pretty normal reply to be honest.

Far better than worrying and wondering.

The day they died (if during the previous night meaning not enough sleep or got the call during the working day) plus the funeral with additional flexibility if you needed to support your parents with arrangements because they can’t do them without your help eg they are older themselves. If your grandparents raised you because your parents couldn’t then extra time as you will be making arrangements and it is understandably different. Obviously circumstances are everything, most employers will be a bit flexible but in answer to the op, if it happened last week, not going back on Monday seems to be the issue, for context Dh went back on the Monday after his mum died, he didn’t have any things he could do yet as waiting on the coroner so off to work he went

I was given half a day to attend my grandad's funeral by my branch manager and was expected to go into work afterwards at another branch.

When I arrived I was sent straight home because they could all too clearly see how upset I was.

I don't think a Friday and a Monday off is unreasonable here. Particularly as your DH has a zero hours contract and therefore won't get paid.
Perhaps his boss wants to know how he is, whether he needs anymore time off and when the funeral is (another day off)? and therefore needs to plan accordingly.
Im sorry for your loss x

When my gran died i wasnt allowed any time off but for her funeral i was allowed half a day, and i was expected to work either the morning if the funeral was in the afternoon or work the afternoon if the funeral was in the morning. Given that my gran lived 3 hours away i told them that this wasnt possible and i had to book half a days annual leave.

They actually ummed and ahhed if i was allowed to have half day annual leave, i told them straight, approve it or dont but i wont be here.

Found out after that i was allowed 3 days compassionate leave. Bastards.

Bit mean if he's only had two days off. That's not much at all.

I was given two weeks but I was my nans executor (hated all her children) and it was a three hour drive away.

When I worked in the public sector, a few years ago, a colleague took six months leave on full pay when her hamster died.

I took a week in 2005 for my mum, a week in 2009 for my brother, and a week in 2011 for my stepdad. I wouldn't take anywhere near a week for a grandparent.

My colleague has been off for two weeks so far.
She was incredibly close with them so has been signed off by a doctor x

However long it takes for you to feel up to working but you may need to take leave. I don’t think anybody can dictate when you feel ok to work as that’s not how grief works.

Your employer will have their rules though.

When my uncle was diagnosed terminally ill with cancer I went home early as I burst into tears in the office (I found out when at work) and got a day off the next day. I was also given a couple of days for his funeral.

My brother’s employer wanted to give him zero time off as he could not understand why my brother was upset as it was “just an uncle”. Different people see different relationships differently. But we cannot select what plunges us into a sad state.

Two days is not unreasonable and to be honest it depends on the relationship and your husbands contract of employment. If you have a copy, look at what his entitlement is for bereavement and compassionate leave.

If he was the Grandparents main carer or he was exceptionally close then its all mitigating background. Or maybe his parents were unable to deal with requirements i.e. undertakers or the surviving grandparents grief and it fell to him.

There is no statutory right to paid bereavement leave for grandparents, but there is a statutory right to reasonable unpaid time off for dependants (people you care for are dependents) if the death creates an immediate practical crisis (e.g., arranging care, dealing with urgent matters). Two days is absolutely within the range of “reasonable” to me but he may not get paid for them and that maybe what they wish to speak to him about? Whether its paid or unpaid can be at the discretion of the Manager so the manager may need more info. But as your husband is on a zero hours contract, I personally think the chat will be to point out that he will not get paid.

This is a difficult point because whilst your husband has a zero hrs contract, if he has been working full time for a long time, he could be deemed as having more rights than a zero hrs contract.

We can't plan for such events and the truth is that it sometimes "inconveniences" others but the alternative is having a person at work, who is not fit to be there.

My stepson had 3mths off work when his mum died, we all react differently.

If they phoned in, explained the situation, and followed the normal absence reporting procedure, then disciplinary action would be unreasonable.

Misconduct only arises if someone fails to notify, fails to follow procedure, disappears without contact so if he contacted his boss as per the contract on the Friday and Monday then he should be OK.

But having had the two days off, I wouldn't expect to get a paid leave day for the funeral.

It would probably depend on circumstances…..I was executor of GP will and was tasked with a great deal of admin as well as finalising plans for the funeral. ĞP was very obliging and signed me off sick for a couple of weeks. Not sure that applies now as employees have a Fit Note don’t they.

My gps all died when I was still a child, but I cannot call to mind a single colleague having taken compassionate leave for a gp.